Dear Stranger,
It's been awhile. If someone asked me, I couldn't tell them exactly how many days had gone by, since the last time I saw you. Even so, I still remember it perfectly. How the sky looked like this intense and dark gray cloak, threatening rain at any time. The way you were trembling between your light clothes, with this expression on your face impossible to read. The tone of your voice when you said "I'm sorry, but I must leave". And the way I looked at you, begging you to stay, without saying a single word. And the way you looked back at me, with those eyes of yours screaming in silent: "let me go".
I miss you. I've been missing you for what it feels like forever. That's probably the reason why I lost track of the days that have passed, because they don't really matter. Days without you don't matter to me. Because I'm too busy between thoughts about those I spent with you. The way you loved to play your old guitar on the porch of your house. The way you loved to play with my hair, while we were sitting on the couch, doing nothing. The way you used to love doing completely nothing with me, because we were together and that was enough. "Used to". You've became a "used to" in my life, and that's probably the most painful thing of all.
This is the last letter to you. I know I said this before, but it's all different now. I've somewhat changed when it comes to you. It's not that I don't love you anymore (how could I stop? You're the only love I've ever met), it's just that I'm done. I'm done with being nothing but unread words. I'm tired of all this silence that you surrounded around me. I must be more than this. I deserve more than this. And if this is all you can give me, then I'm afraid that it's not enough anymore.
I believe I will always miss you, regardless of the days that will pass. Each and every single of them filled with your absence and your presence, simultaneously. I will miss you within me: between all these blank spaces that you've left behind. Between all these words that can no longer reach you. And within this weakened heart, sentenced to never beat as it used to.
I'm done with loving a "used to", that should be my "always".
Sincerely,
The one you said you would love forever