Over the last 3 years she thought of abundant scenarios of meeting "him" again. She always wondered what her reaction would be. Will she be as ferocious as a cyclone or will she be as calm as a summer breeze. Maybe she will feel angered beyond rationality or just maybe she will feel a calm settle into her like never before. Whatever it would be she believed strongly that she would hear from him one more time before she closes her eyes to this world.
It was a day like any other. She sat on her laptop working on some project when she hears a ping from her mailbox. It was all in slow motion. She clicked on her inbox and there it sat stairing at her, an email from him.
As opposed to what she had been preparing herself for all those years, this felt different. She felt unprepared. Maybe it was too early. Yet what she couldn't put a finger on how she was feeling about this. She felt no anger, rage or indifference. It felt silent to her. There was pin drop silence. She felt trapped into a state of coma. Everything around her was moving and she was forced by law of nature into this state of hush. Fixated on one thing, trying to get a reaction out of her own self. She was in shock of what has happened and how it has happened.
Without even realising she clicks on the email and starts reading it in that numb state but somehow the shock in her system didn't allow her to comprehend the words. She re-read it- 2 times, 5 times and as the day goes by, 20 times. It was a set of words asking her how she was doing and him telling her about the new experiences of his life with an underlying disclaimer saying : I think you won't reply; infact I know that you won't. Still I had to try.I know you hate my guts.
And boy did she hate his guts.She decides she does not owe him any reply but deep inside her a longing has begun. A longing to hear from him and have him close. A longing beyond all rationality. She felt pathetic for having this longing so she fights it and fights it hard for a week but somehow like all those times before she gives in.
But this time would be different she says to herself. She finds the most indifferent words and types the most indifferent message that would be a slap on that ridiculously handsome face. A reply that he would have no answer to, that would show him that he is nothing and has no hold over her anymore. With that thought she presses the send button.She then waits imapatiently for his reply to feed her ego with his humiliation or so she tells herself.
But like always he takes her by surprise with a 2 liner message:
" I am getting married in June, Sam. Wanted you to hear from me first"
In a reflex she types- "have a happy married life...........without me" but instead sends "have a happy married life :)"
And with that "she" closes the last window that opened into "his" life.