Dear myself,
Do you remember this one time you were in 12th grade and you wrote down all the things you hated about yourself? Including your underarms. When I come to think about all my positive attributes, it’s sad I think of all the things that people have complimented me on. I remember it was just 7 days into masters and so many people from my class wrote “confident” and “bold” on my back. People who didn’t even know you, hadn’t even talked to you by then. That still continues to be the best self-esteem booster of my life. The fact that people who didn’t even know you, made that impression of you. OMG, they called you confident! I had been underconfident inside me, my whole life and for me to receive all that was definitely overwhelming.
Now when I think about it, I feel like I am enough. There are so many things that I really love about myself that if I were someone else, I would keep me like a precious object. I like just how empathetic I can be sometimes and avoid conflicts when I can see things from others’ perspectives. I like how expressive I can be at times and the power that this language has given me to express. I like that sometimes I can be absolutely upfront and I have the capability of being that person. I like that I can be assertive in groups and I can express freely whatever I want. I also like that I am able to provide a safe space to a lot of people around me and I can bring multiplicity of perspective on things. I like that sometimes I can let go of things and not make a fuss out of it, in order to protect relationships. I like that I can make others happy by being the jolly funny person that I am. I like that I can talk confidently with others. I like that I can have meaningful conversations with everyone and anyone. I like that I am woke and flexible with my thoughts. I like that I am very non-judgmental with people. I like that I am also an activist when it comes to mental health. I am opinionated. I also kinda like my researcher side.
I also like just how emotional I am and that I have the capacity to stand up to my emotions and be true to myself because I am not a coward. I like that I have the capacity to love people even if it doesn’t get reciprocated not because I try to not have expectations but, because it comes so naturally. I like my taste in music and my relationship with it. I like my passion about singing even if I am not pursuing it at the moment. I like that I can think and introspect and reflect. I hope you find this letter when the universe makes you feel small because you aren’t small.
It’s so wonderful that the same god who made mountains and galaxies, made you too because it thought the world needed one of you too.