So, here I go, with some of my incidents which has been happening in past few years in family, with friends, and love. Have always heard that love is enough for person to grow since childhood. I was taught being kind and genuine is the most rare quality a person posses. But to my irony, when I put that foot in the world, it was so different, If you are kind, you are taken for granted, If you are genuine, you are not valued, If you love someone , that is worthless.
Remembering my childhood days, a dyslexic as I know it now, did not knew to tie my laces, thanks to my mom who struggled with those shoes, could not navigate, thanks to my brother who took my hands in him and showed me the way and a complete thanks to my dad who made me tolerant. Criticism has been the centre of attraction in my life , yes it is in others too but may be for me its a cup of tea I get every day..with no sugar at all..:)... Being a school girl had a taller height with those glasses. When I used to visit a doctor or a guest used to visit me, I heard those whispers..she is so tall according to her age, how could she be so tall as if being tall is a crime. After few years, due to heavy medication got hormonal growths earlier, again heard rumours..OMG..this girl has developed her breasts so early. what did she actually did??, so I want to answer it now I actually did nothing. Its a god gift and somewhere medical science has developed to make it possible and it is nothing to buzz about
College life is the best life one has. Yes it was bets for me too. It changed my life, I went into something called self discovery. Fell in love which was a beautiful feeling unless I got to know its not so beautiful actually. Spread love is something which I truly believed and did. To my disappointment, spreading love is compromising with your self respect, getting abused and of course getting criticized for things you are not perfect at . so I thought being unconditional is better, expecting nothing is better and love is worth fighting for unless I understood that you cannot be the only one fighting.
who does not have negatives?? and who is perfect and if someone is not perfect, how can someone expect the other to be perfect. I want to ask a question to all those people who criticized me for my looks, my figure or my habits. do you guys think you are the most beautiful people on earth and you do not have anything wrong with you ??. Did you ever realized that a girl who is not been valued, taken granted for or is criticized put so much of efforts dealing with your nonsense every day, She tolerates every thing you do with her, She is chasing you because she values you in her life or she is listening to all the stupid stuff about her because she loves you more then anything else on earth. Does my love, my care not enough for a relationship to grow??. Iam sure that if you were at my place you would not been able to face things I did and could not really take the shit which you throw at me. It takes courage.
Its okay to get criticized but its not okay to get criticized all the time and look at the irony, this is mostly done by people whom I have always loved. Yes I do not have attractive looks, do not have a good figure, cannot be that sexy girl who everyone wants but I know I have a beautiful soul and this is rare. I really don't understand things which a re gonna fade, a beautiful face, a sexy figure or those gorgeous hairs, how can someone long for them and not for that heart and soul which will never change. Why on earth..For god sake, people want to marry a beautiful girl , and judge her on her heights and weight. Why not on her behaviour, on her values and wisdom.
I loved you, my parents, I loved you, my brother , I loved you my love but I was not understood by anyone of you. I became tolerant. Being criticized did not demotivated me, damaged me or broked me up. It helped me to understand that yes I am a beautiful person, beautiful from inside, which others cannot be. All those underestimation actually helped me to understand my strengths. I understand now who to choose in my life, may be a person who can love me for who Iam with my flaws and weakness as I loved you all with all your flaws, even when did not valued it, even when you did not respected it, even when you were not worth of my love. In the end Its between me and God, so when I lie on my death bed, I would be smiling because I actually loved people who did not appreciated my existence in there life and yes this is rare and beautiful and I am beautiful..because I loved all of you always irrespective of what you are and what you are not and that day you would know that you criticized me because things are not right with yourself.. After all.Hatred and criticism consumes its own container..it would burn you from inside..not me