Letters of Love and Heartbreak

A compilation of unsent letters of love, pain and longing.

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Love,

I hope, at the very least, in your most dire moments, you would still be able to remember how I made you happy—how I used to throw jokes that made you laugh; how I'd put you to sleep through my songs at midnight; how I profess affection through my writing; how I loved you more than the miles between us—because from time to time, you still cross my mind. In the most bustling time of my day, I still remember how you made me happier, how your love reached me beyond distance, how your warmth traveled across oceans—thawing my cold heart day by day, defining no time zones. How everything seems wrong felt right, how being in your presence felt home. Baby, ours may be fleeting, but the time spent with you felt something closer to forever.
Moments with you were heartening. Yes, it was. And I'm terribly sorry if I can't wish you happiness for now, because the truth is, I still wanted to be accountable of your bliss and the reason of your excitement coming home. So, please give me time. Give me time to forget how you made it through my broken heart. How you filled me with so much joy that it mended every fragment of my self—torn in the past. How you taught me that taking risks in love for the nth time isn't that terrifying, but somehow it has rendered me solace. Give me time to forget how your love healed me, for I know it won't take awhile. Let me still long for your presence until feeling your absence seems typical. Let me miss you the same way you miss me, the same way you missed the feeling of missing me. Let me still write something about you in my journal until I couldn't scribble much, until words have failed me to describe you. Let me still love you in silence the same way how your love withered—in silence. Let me still think of you until I come to a point where remembering you doesn't hurt anymore.

– 12:30 AM | 1st of October

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"Amidst the pain, disappointments and your mistakes, I will still choose you. I'm sure, I will. But if I've come to a point that I would have to give up on you, I hope you would understand that it took me everything to let you go—'cause baby I don't give up easily and you know that. You know that I'm very much willing to embrace your past—you wholeheartedly. I would've stayed even after knowing the freaking truth, though  it tears me piece by piece."

(Written at around 2AM while missing him so bad..)

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"Let me still love you in silence, the same way how your love fades—in silence."

( Written at around 1AM while looking at his last message—good music on the background, tears slowly rolling down my cheeks.)

Let me still write something about you without scribbling your name in my journal, the same way how you promise a happily ever after without engraving it in your heart.

Let me still continue—then at some point—end this affection across distance, the same way how our love starts across miles.

Let me still think of you until I come to a point where
remembering you doesn't hurt anymore.

Let me still long for your presence until feeling your absence seems typical.

Let me still miss you the same way you missed me, the same way you missed the feeling of missing me.

Give me time, the same way I've given you time to assess your heart only to realize I'm not there anymore.

Give me time to forget how your love heals me, because I know it won't take awhile, it might take a lifetime.

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"I never begged you to stay. I begged you to be honest with yourself—with what you feel. Because if you can't love me wholeheartedly, with commitment and fidelity, then there's no sense in staying. You know me well that I don't invest into something that's temporary. I've warned you from the start to never waste my time. So if you see a future without me and without feeling broken that I'm missing in your life, then there's no point going down this road with me. 'Cause why would it be worth my time and effort for the short term? It doesn't make sense at all! Let's stop now."

– 3AM | October 4, 2018

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We meet again in this lifetime only to drift apart.
If there's an intersection ahead,
and if there's a slight chance for our paths to cross,
dear, I would have to overtake.
If and only if, would you rather bump into me?
Or just drive through without pulling the brake?
I don't care if it's an accident, or coincidence.
Let's not meet again nor meet halfway,
if only in the end, we have to go on separate ways.
Love, let's avoid intersections, okay?

– Intersections | 3AM, October 5, 2018

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Maybe we're both too independent that we couldn't make this work together.And for a relationship to be lasting, it needs effort of two. Y'know, it takes two to tango. And that's the thing here, there's only you and me—it lacks "us".

– 9AM | October 5, 2018

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A/N

Hi loves,

Will be updating more love letters soon. As always, thank you for launching my stories.

Much love,

Midnight Weaver