Dear my almost Romeo,
There's so much I've never told you. So much that has been on my mind since the last time we talked. I need to let it out. It's eating me up inside.
Let me start by saying; I never believed in someone being meant for you until I lost you.
I was really scared to write this, actually.
But not scared because I wasn't sure of what I wanted to say. Mostly just scared because we are kind of a tricky concept.
We're the kind of people that can't be described as hot or cold, black or white, evening or morning and asleep or awake.
We are the warm between hot and cold. We're the gray between black and white. We're the dawn between evening and morning and we are the daydream between asleep and awake.
and you? you're my almost...
It's funny how the concept of "almost" make us cling to the tiniest hope. It becomes the driving force behind, "I will not give up, and I will never let you go."
Would we choose to cage someone just because we are drowned in the concept of "almost" or would we let them go and wait for them to comeback to see if we are really meant to be?
And as time pass by I thought I was rational when I chose to let you go, overseeing that truth that I was scared, scared to let you know what I truly felt.
That's why I loosened my grip to let you go with hopes that you would find your way back.
and for the second time I'am caught in the turmoil of the concept of "almost".
I almost became your Juliet only if I did choose to be selfish for once.
And you almost became my Romeo if only I did not force you to let go and ironically comeback to me.
And looking back to what we had you are my almost Romeo and call you "the one that got away." I regret all the time I spent trying to avoid opening up to you. I compared every man I meet to you and no one ever measure up to the amazing man I let slip because of my own indecision and self-doubt but I am taking responsibility of it.
Maybe the whole damn letter will be irrelevant by the time you read it.
But that's a risk I'm willing to take. Not because I am particularly a risky person.
It's because it's a risk I've already put off long enough.
I don't really know what lies ahead of us. And I would be lying if I say I didn't wish I knew. But I do know that maybe someday we'll get it right.
But If ever you truly lost your way back and met your Juliet. I would still be happy for you too.
This has been a bitter-sweet story and if we meet in the next lifetime I would promise to never let you go again.
Your more than Rosaline but less than Juliet...