At first, I had serious doubts about this one, but then i thought "Hey, you have to start with something." I chose my first story to be my own life story. Maybe this will help people to understand why i prefer certain genres.
I am a 16 year old student from a small country named Belgium, born the 21th of December 1998. My childhood wasn't that special. I was that girl that preferred playing by her own rather than playing with friends. I thought everything went perfect, really. Untill one day, my mother told me she didn't love my dad anymore. I was at the age of 8 back then. My mother was the only one in my life who actually cared for me. I hated the fact to see her crying so I started hating my dad for hurting her. In my eyes, my dad was this very evil man who only thought about himself and alcohol.
To this day, I sometimes still feel a really strong hate towards him without knowing why. I hate myself for that though, because a wise man once told me "I hated my ex girlfriend so much, it controlled my life. After a few months I forgot about her, and then she texted me saying "I hope you've cooled down by now. I'm sorry what i did to you, and i think I deserved the hate you had towards me. I really felt it you know.. Your hate.. It killed me inside, and I would've hurt myself if that pain held on a little longer." This was the text that made me realise that you have to be carefull with hating someone. It's a strong thing, you know." Ever since he told me that story, I try to turn my hate into love. But that was not the best choice I've ever made..
Just like every other girl, I fell in love for the first time in my life. Some girls say it was the best thing that ever happened to them. In my case, it was the worst time of my life. The first time I felt love was when I was 13 years old. I had a best friend, Thijs. He was an asshole to everyone, but a real sweetheart to me. And one day, he kissed me. It was a really magical moment, I admit. Untill i went home and he texted me that he didn't mean to do that and that he made a mistake. Everything went downhill from then. We had a huge fight that ruined our friendship, and I've barely heard from him since then.
I became really sad after my fight with him. People told me it was just a fase, and that I would get over it in a few weeks. Instead, I never got over it. I thought about it for days, weeks, months.. I even became depressed and I locked myself in my room during summer break. This went on for more than 2 years. I wasn't able to have a long lasting relationship with anyone, I wasn't emotionally stable for that. Also, I self-harmed. Most guys couldn't live with that so just left me.
Like every other teenager, I began thinking that I was a little too fat. But it was easy for me to lose weight. I just had to eat a little less and a little healthier. After a few weeks, I started working out because I didn't lose enough anymore. And after another few weeks, I started throwing up after I ate. I was at my lowest weight since I was 11 years old back then. I told my mom after a few months because I started throwing up blood. I got better after that. Well, better is a big word.. I only threw up when I ate something really fatty like fries or something.
Then one day, I met this boy Melvin. He was actually the first guy where I could be myself with. He helped me with all my problems, he understood why I was angry or upset sometimes, he always made me laugh, even when i didn't want to. He learned me how to eat without feeling guilty. He was really special, you know.. But the self-harming was still a problem. I was the tipe of girl who wanted a real relationship and plan a future together, but he wasn't like that. He liked going out more than just watching a movie together. He went out behind my back and stuff, and I couldn't have a problem with it because I was afraid that if I did, he would leave me.. But I loved him, so he could do whatever he wanted, as long as he was happy. I was that girl who cared about his happiness more than mine.. But one day on a festival, he just left me without saying anything. I stood there, for 5 hours straight, without knowing where he was or who was with him.. He could've been kissing other girls for all I know. I was so tired of it, that I started drinking and I smoked a blunt with this random guy so I could have fun, just like Mel. But instead, I made everything worse.. Long story short: he broke up with me that same night. And I was devistated.. This really was the worst breakup I've ever went through.
He replaced my feelings for Thijs, and made me happy again, but smashed me down the moment I started to have some confidence again. I stopped eating once again, and self-harming even more. And worst of all? I forgave him for hurting me this much. I turned my hate into love, once again.. And I should've never done that.
After a few days, I started to realise that life isn't about finding the one who will make me happy again. I was the only one who could save myself. The time i started to realise that, a guy Laszlo came along. And out of pure hate, I started a relationship with him, knowing that he was a good friend of Mel. I wanted him to suffer so badly.. And Laszlo himself wanted his ex to suffer too. We were like this really evil couple who just wanted revenge.. Not as romantic as it should be, I know.. But as I told you before, "hate is something strong, you know." Both our exes were hurt, so we had what we wanted to have. But we actually started liking eachother, and decided to try a real relationship. A relationship where you love each other, and not just want to hurt someone else.
We're in a relationship for over a year right now, and it's actually going really well. He's making me eat normal, I've stopped self-harming, my school results are better than ever before, and I actually feel happy again.