Photo by Romain Briaux on Unsplash
I'm a dreamer. Whether it be by day or by night, you can always catch me dreaming. My imagination runs wild with whimsical thoughts of what-if's and what-could-be's in a world where only what-is matters. Being presented with any more news and facts can drain any more life left in me, so I press on with the fantasies that lie opposite my reality. Most people point out that it's useless, but in a world of black and white, I can only live upon a rainbow.
It's too bright out today for a rainbow, but the day's beautiful nonetheless. With no cloud in sight, the sun's but a brilliant disc in a sea of blue. The world around me is unrelentingly scorching hot, but in a loose white dress, my skin can breathe as easily as I can.
I walk on this lonely earth-ridden path, my hands swaying by my side as my dress billows in the cool day breeze. It has been awfully windy up here as the unforgiving sunny days slowly surrender to the more placid rainy afternoons, and quite frankly, I'm thankful for that. The past few weeks have been horrific, and with this season passing over, I can finally rest easy to the tune of raindrops pattering upon my windowsill.
The clouds roll over quickly, casting over me and my dream-like state. I continue to walk anyway, my dreams ambiguous in nature and almost hallucinogenic at this point. I couldn't tell when I've begun this journey or when I'm going to end it, but at this point, I know I have to keep on going.
This path hasn't changed since I've begun walking. Walking by the river has been both calming and literally refreshing, but even these waters haven't changed in the time that I've been walking it. I haven't seen a change in anything. The trees that line the path seem to repeat themselves the farther I go. Even my thoughts are as vague as they are blank.
For the past few months, I've slowly succumbed to the monotonous black and white of this world. Too many issues have dragged me away from my dreams to commit to those they say are 'at stake'. I've been groomed to comply and have since lost touch with my eccentric what-if's and what-could-be's, a catastrophe on my part.
Now that I'm back on track, where has it all gone?
I look at the sky still overcast and notice a change in the horizon. I can't clearly see what lies there, but it's brighter than anything I've ever seen. I could no more see the same trees, the same river, the same path--just an end to this repetitive environment. Over there, I could see an array of muted colors floating about over there. It draws my eyes over to what the end could possibly be since I see nothing from here.
Suddenly I feel it again, that surge of energy that would fuel my imagination. This sudden surge travels down to my legs which start to pick up in pace. Before I know it, I'm running to the horizon, and it too starts to near me as I quickly approach it. Whatever lies there could be my rainbow lying dormant and just waiting for me to find it again. I sure hope that that's what lies there, though.
As the horizon starts to blind me, I pick up my pace even further. With my eyes closed to avoid possible blindness, I could no more feel the ground beneath my feet. I feel like I'm running on air, like I'm running so slow but so fast at the same time. This must be it. I'm here now.
Everything feels like it's slowing down--my pace, my heartbeat, my excitement. I don't remember feeling this way before any of my past bursts of creativity, so this must be a whole different high. I don't buy into vices, but this could be like any one of them.
Slowly, I start to lose any feeling of anything. I feel like I'm floating now, like I'm jumping long-distance very slowly, like I'm in a sensory-deprivation tank. I keep my eyes closed for fear of going blind in this already intense glare.
Just as quickly as I've lost my senses, I feel them come rushing back. In fact, I feel like they're coming back even faster than they've gone. I'm not floating anymore; I could feel the ground now.
Should I open my eyes? Maybe then I'll see what new dreams I get to live in. I could live away from the monotony and delve into variety.
I'll open them slowly just to be safe then. I'll do it on the count of three since that's an industry standard. I can't wait.
One.
Two.
Three.