Cosima fell down on her bed. Her breathing was heavy and it toke a lot of energy to control her respiration. Today's training had been the worst. Cosima didn't mind working out a little and she knew the army only wanted fit rookies to become soldiers, and she was too determined to become like her sister, Sarah, that she didn't see how diffecult it was going to get. She was a trainee for 5 days right now and she already started to dislike the training sessions. Sarah had warned her it was going to be hard. Especially for her. Cosima's breathing was bad for already a little while, so the stamina-exercises were worse than hell. But Cosima was a bit stubborn and wouldn't give up easily. She dreamt of becoming a soldier since her youth. To become as brave as Luke Skywalker and protect common people against the bad guys. She imagined how she shot people in the chest. Only bad people, who wanted to hurt the ones she loved. She imagined saving them. Cosima dreamt of being a hero. She thought that if she'd join the army, she would become a hero. Sadly she wasn't a soldier yet, just a newbie.
Sarah warned her sister that being a soldier wasn't as herotic as some people believed. First of all, the recruiting stage was terrible. Cosima knew Sarah was psychically well. Sarah trained already before she became a trainee herself. But the letters Sarah wrote to Cosima and her sisters troubled her. Sarah often wrote she wanted to go home and she really considered quitting. If Sarah, the one who always out ran everybody, wanted to go home, why did Cosima think she wouldn't? Cosima knew it would be terrible at some points. She would miss her other relatives and would be dying to go home. But that didn't stop her to sign up as a recruit. She just needed to get through these couple of months, even if she would think she would die after running for 5 minutes or could barely see anything without her glasses.
She couldn't show any of her flaws to the other rookies or to the officers. If she did, they would defenitely send her home. And they couldn't send her home, they just couldn't. Cosima waited her whole life for an opportunity like this, and she wasn't planning to let other people take that away from her. She manipulated the tests herself and her effort would be useless if they would find out... Well, she manipulated the tests with a little help of Sarah, of course..
The first test people have to complete if they want to become a trainee, is mostly about your senses. People examine your reflexes, your ears and your eyes. A soldier must have quick reflexe. He, or she, has to react as quickly as possible to the sergeant's commands. A soldier must have good ears, to listen. If you can't see your enemy, it's very useful if you got a good hearing, to hear the enemy coming closer. And a soldier must have good eyes. Something Cosima lacked off. She could never quite understand why she had to wear glasses, since Sarah didn't needed them. She eventually found out that if you study hard and spend a lot of time googling information, it might damage your eyes. Cosima didn't knew when she was younger and had now to live with the concequences.
Her hearing test went fine and her reflexes were very good. The only test she would've troubles with, were the eye-test. That was were Sarah helped her sister. Because Sarah had passed the eye-test pretty well, very good, actually. Without Sarah's help, Cosima would fail big time. To help her, Sarah broke into one of the General's offices and stole the eye-test. It wasn't a hard test. Cosima had to look at different numbers and letters and tell the assistent which letter she was looking at. Eventually all the letters and numbers would decrease until they were almost invisible. Sarah told Cosima all the letters and numbers in the right order. To be sure she wouldn't fail, Cosima memorized everything. Once she took the test, she just had to remember the letters and numbers in the correct order and tell them to the assistant without even being able to see them.
She also got through her eye-test. It wasn't even hard.
The second part of the test is physical. Recruits are expected to at least run half an hour without any trouble. But it did trouble Cosima. She had troubles with breathing and wasn't even able to run five minutes without feeling like her lungs would explode. This time, Sarah helped her again. Cosima would start the test with the other new rookies. The first two minutes would be terrible, because Cosima had to make sure she would be the fastest one of the group. Most of them started very easy and were easy to overhaul. There were a few faster ones who caused a little trouble, but Cosima was able to pass them all. She ran as hard as she could, hearing the grumpy chatter of the other trainees behind her. A small girl like Cosima was unable to outrun huge men, who trained for more than two years, they probably thought. Luckily, Cosima didn't have to run the whole track. At the first bend of the road, she slipped into the shrubbery. Sarah would jump at the same time out of vegetation and would run the track for her. Sarah had an excellent perseverance and had no trouble running for the rest of the half an hour. Cosima would wait a few hundreds of meters before the finishline. Sarah was the first one to arrive, they way she expected. Sweaty and exhausted she let herself drop into the shrubbery. Cosima ran the last few minutes and was the first one to arrive, without actuallyhaving to run much.
Cosima also completed the physical test. In a week or two she rescived a message that told her she was officially a trainee. She was expected at the base in five days. Of course, Sarah was the first one to hear she was accepted as a trainee. Sarah had warned her that, because she cheated twice on the tests, the recruiting stage would be extra hard. Sarah couldn't keep saving Cosima's ass, she had to complete a lot of trainings herself. But Cosima didn't mind at all, she was way to happy to know she was going to be a hero soon.
She totally regrets her happiness now. It was already a couple of minutes since she dropped down on her cot, but she still had trouble breathing. By now the other rookies also entered the tent. Sweaty, smelly, dirty and tired as hell she turned to her stomach and buried her face in the sheets. They also smelled dirty. She missed the smell of her own sheets... You just have to get used to it, she told herself while she forced herself to smell the dirty smell again. After a few seconds she couldn't bare it anymore and sat up straight.
She looked up when someone entered the tent. A big grin spread across her face.
"Sarah!"
Cosima jumped up and ran to her sister. She swung her arms around her sister's neck. Sarah laughed in her ear. She was never so relieved to see Sarah. Her sister is almost the only thing she got to take from home.
"Hey, Cos," Sarah greeted her. They broke the hug and Sarah helt her at armlength. She took a good look at Cosima and grinned.
"Look at you, all grown up and stuff, yeah?" Sarah said chuckling. Cosima gave her a friendly push. A grin spread across her face as they both sat down on her cot. The dirty smell filled her nose again but she ignored it, because Sarah did as well. Or her nose might've been corroded in these few months as a soldier. She has to be used to the smell of the dirty beds. Sarah smiled at her, but her grin faded when her eyes saw the dark cirkles under Cosima's eyes.
"I told you the army wasn't something for you.." Sarah said, suddenly concerned. "Look at you. I don't even know how you manage to keep up with the rest of the group. Dierden must've beaten you all up. At least, he did in my first weeks.."
Cosima sighed and nodded. Sergeant Paul Dierden was the hardest and most corrupt leader she ever met. He was supposed to take care of the newbies and he was a soldier inside and outside. He had broad shoulders, long legs and his biceps and triceps were as big as his fist. She expected that Sergeant Dierden started off easily since they were all new and didn't know what to do. Nobody knew eachother and it was already awkward if your eyes met someone else's. Sadly, Dierden didn't. He almost let Cosima dig her own grave... Or at least, it felt like that. She was so freaking tired at the end of ther first training and almost passed out during it. Sergeant Paul looked at her like she was dirt when she asked if they could slow down a bit. They even fastened. Yes, Cosima was defenitely scared of Sergeant Dierden.
"I just have to get through this few months and then it'll get easier..." Cosima mumbled. Sarah let her head rest in her hands and sighed deeply before answering.
"No, Cos, it won't. It was a mistake to bring you here.."
Sarah looked at Cosima for a few seconds and Cosima stared back. A smile appeared on her sister's face. She rose her eyebrows confused, not quite understanding why Sarah would smile at her like that.
"Anyway, I know my objections won't make any difference. You know where to find me if there's any trouble, yes?" Sarah asked. Cosima nodded, smiling now too.
Sarah and her force had a special department inside the huge building. The rookies slept in a few big tents with dirty cots and rotten matresses. They got nice beds, white sheets, clean toilets and better food. That was another motivation for Cosima to become a soldier as quickly as possible. She couldn't bare it in here. Cosima didn't like to camp in the first place and without a proper place to sleep she decided she wanted to stay outside as long as possible.
Sarah stood up and gave Cosima one final hug. Cosima wished Sarah could stay longer, but duty called her, obviously. Her sister had a tight scedule and barely had any breaks, while Cosima had usually the afternoons and evenings off after they trained their asses off in the morning. Sarah still trained a lot, but also need to attend at a lot of meetings, since she was head of her unit.
"Okey, let's talk soon," Cosima said when they broke off the hug. Sarah smiled at her and nodded. When she turned around and walked out of the trainee's-tent, Cosima missed her already. She sighed and sat down on her bed, resting her head in her hands. This was going to be a long afternoon without her sister.
The next day Cosima woke up late. She could tell by the rays of sun that peeked through the aperture of the tent. She realized nobody had woken her up, which the trainee's were supposed to do if somebody was late. Everybody was gone already...
"Shit, shit, shit!" she cursed as she jumped out of bed. She grabbed her glasses and put those on her nose. Cosima hastily tried to grab her clothes and put those on as quick as possible. Her trousers, her shirt, her shoes. She hopped to the opening of the tent, trying to put on her last boot. Once she had put it on she started to run. She looked around, panicked. Usually Sergeant Dierden came to get them and waited for them outside as they dressed. When everybody was ready he toke them to forest to run a few laps or to the shooting range or even to the pool. She didn't knew where the other rookies had went and at this moment she could feel fear flowing through her veins. Her eyes searched the area but couldn't find anyone, just a few high officers who looked disapprovingly at her when she ran past them.
Cosima sprinted for a few minutes in random directions, until someone stopped her. It was a guy with a nice face, black hair and black eyeliner, even though she knew they weren't supposed to have make-up, let alone apply it. The guy had a cheeky smile and she couldn't imagine him following the rules at all. Like he was there to break them.
"They went that way," he said. Cosima noticed his english accent, just like Sarah's, but she was too busy running in the way the guy told her. She shouted a thank you and heard him chuckle for a few seconds. Quickly, Cosima ran around the corner.
Before she could even see what happened, she fell on the ground. It felt like Cosima had ran into a brick wall. She grunted in pain when her butt hit the ground. Slowly she looked up. Sunrays shone in her eyes and she couldn't see anything except for a dark silhouette. But she recognized the figure. The broad shoulders, the huge biceps... Holy watershed...
"S-sergeant Dierden.." Cosima said as she got up. Clumsy she almost tripped over her own feet, but she managed to keep herself from falling.
"I-I.."
"Go away, Niehaus," Dierden said, his eyes stern and harsh. Cosima didn't knew what he was meaning and she didn't want to understand. Did he sent her away? Did she had to leave? Go home?
"But.. but, Sergeant.. I really want to join-"
"Not back home, Niehaus," Sergeant Dierden sighed. "To Colonel Cormier. She asked me to send you to her room as soon as you arrived."
"Who-who's... Where can I find her?" Cosima murmeled, while straightening her back. She nimbled her lower lip. Colonel Cormier? Who the hell would that be? She had never seen a woman before at the training sessions... Or did she? Cosima doesn't remember the scene well and she doesn't even know if the woman of her memory is the same woman Sergeant Dierden sends her to now...
At her first training session, a few days ago, Dierden talked to some woman... She barely remembers her face. But she recalls a neutral expression, doe's soft eyes, pink lips and perfect curled blonde hair that fell down over her shoulders. Cosima had watched them rather curiously, curious for the woman that could impossibly be a corporal leader. But maybe she felt so curious because it would be her first session, she couldn't quite tell. Cormier and Dierden talked for another five minutes until Cosima saw Cormier mouthing a goodbye. The sergeant did the same and saluted respectfully when the Colonel took off. When Cormier's eyes slid one last time over the faces of the new recruits, they stopped at Cosima's. They looked at eachother, both with the same curiousity, like they both were a project, something that had to be monitored. Cosima could feel the desire to walk over to her and take a closer look. Cosima and Colonel Cormier gazed at eachother for a second or two, before Cormier smiled at her. At that moment she couldn't help but to grin. She felt like she turned into her 4-year-old self again while she waved awkwardly with her hand. The Colonel grinned, chuckled and broke off the stare. She looked down and Cosima saw she bit her lower lip, before walking away, back to whatever she had to do. An awesome feeling pumped through her body, like she just toke a shot of happiness. How could one woman make her act so weird?
Cosima didn't had much time to think about that, since the training session was about to start. Back then she didn't had a clue how hard Sergeant Dierden's sessions were going to be.
But she couldn't understand why Colonel Cormier, if it was the same woman, wanted to see Cosima..
"You can find her in the head building, you know where the head building is, don't you?"
She nodded. The recruits aren't allowed to come near the head building yet, but Sarah told her that's were all the soldiers eat and the high officers and such keep their files, have their meetings and do whatever high officers need to do.
"She also gave premission for you to skip this training session... After your meeting with the Colonel you don't have to come back, at least not for today. Now off you go, you don't want to let her wait."
Cosima saluted to the Sergeant and turned around. She started to walk towards the head building.
Cosima had exactly no idea why Colonel Cormier called for her. They only smiled at eachother. Is that forbidden? Is a trainee not allowed to smile at a Colonel? Fear gathers in her body and she formed two fists, noticing her hands were all sweaty. Did they found out she cheated on the test? Will they send her home? Did they discover that Sarah had helped her? Will they also send Sarah home? She would feel terrible if she would be sent home, but she would be heartbroken if Sarah would be sent home too. Panick flows through her vains. She started to breath heavily and for the first time in ages she didn't know what to do.
Instead of walking to the head building, she ran to her sister's department. A few soldiers gave her strange looks when Cosima ran by. But she didn't care. She had to talk to Sarah, discuss this whole situation with her sister. Sarah always had helped her through rough times and she was sure Sarah could help her again.
Luckily Sarah wasn't at a meeting, she just sat on her bed, playing with some cards. Another guy of her department was playing the game with her. He had long strands of hair, even though boys are supposed to shave it all off when they become rookies. He had a shaggy beard but a friendly, handsome face.
"Sarah, seems like your sis is here," the guy said, before giving back the cards. It seems like the game's over because of her appereance. Sarah collected them all and put them back in her suitcase.
"Thanks, Cal," she said. The guy, clearly named Cal, stood up and nodded at both of them, before walking back to his own cot to lie down. Sarah looked up at her and frowned.
"What are you doing here, Cos? Aren't you supposed to be-"
"Sergeant Dierden sent me away," Cosima burst out, throwing her hands in the air. "He sent me away because Colonel Cormier, or something, wanted to see me. I dont'even know who she is or what I've done.. Do you think they found out about..."
Cosima lowered her voice.
"..- about the cheating? Do you think they will send me home? I don't want to go home, Sarah, not after all of this. I really want this, they can't just take it away from me like that! And what about you? Do you think they found out you helped me? They must at least have noticed we look a like.. Sarah, please, help me, I don't know what to do..."
Cosima looked up at her sister. Sarah's facial expression was neutral, she was just listening to the story like it was someone else's, like she wasn't even involved. She knew this expression. It was her leader-expression. It wasn't likely she was going to get sisterly advice right now.
"Sorry sorry sorry, I'm rambling again, but I'm really scared.. What do they know?"
Sarah grabbed her sister's hands and smiled at her. Cosima calmed down a little bit, but her muscles were still tense. She softly pinched Sarah's hands and Sarah pinched back. It felt almost domestic.
"Easy there, dreads. I'm sure Colonel Cormier has a very good reason to ask for you. I don't think they found out about the cheating, yeah? Otherwise they would've asked for me too, wouldn't they? I'm sure everything's gonna be alright."
Cosima looked down. It didn't feel like everything was gonna be alright. It rather felt like her whole world was about to collapse. Everything she worked for was about to explode if they really had found out about the cheating. Sarah noticed her sister didn't believe her, so she pinched another time in her hands to let her know she was on her side.
"I can bring you to her office, if that makes you feel better? Felix could come along or Cal? We will wait for you outside her office and bring you back again, yeah? Cosima, there's literally nothing to be afraid for. I don't know Cormier that well, but she isn't bad. She's okey. And I'm sure she will treat you good, yeah? I mean, it could've been worse. If Duncan would've called for you, you'd be fucked."
She took a deep breath and nodded slowly. If Sarah would come along she would feel much safer. And actually she had no idea where the Colonel's office was if Sarah wouldn't bring her.
"Fee, mind if you come along?" Sarah called. The man with the dark eyeliner Cosima had bumped into just a quarter ago turned around, just a few cots away, and nodded. He grinned his cheeky smile at her and came to them.
"Hi, Felix. A friend of Sarah's, but we're literally family," the guy, who introduced himself as Felix, said. Cosima smiled back timidly.
"Hi, Cosima. Sarah's sister and we're actually family," she said. It was nice to meet new people, Cosima loved people, but there was only one thing she could think of right now.
"Okey, let's go," Sarah said, as the took her sister by the hand. The three of them walked out of Sarah's department. Nobody dared to interrupt the silence.
They walked a few minutes through hallways and corridors Cosima barely could distinguish from eachother. It was like they walked through a labyrinth and Sarah and Felix knew the way out. She was glad they were there to guide her. If she had to find Colonel Cormier's office herself, she would defenitely get lost.
They got in an elevator and got out at another floor. Two soldiers checked their for their names. Sarah and Felix weren't allowed to pass, because their names weren't on the list, but appereantly the Colonel had put Cosima's name on the list, even though she was still newbie. Sarah couldn't bring her all the way up to Cormier's door, but she told her to just check the names on the door, since every door lead to another officer's, general's, sergeant's of whatever's office. She would find the right door eventually if she kept checking. Cosima noticed there were a lot of wooden doors in this corridor, and they all looked the same. Like all the offices of the leaders were on the same floor. All the offices of the leaders were probably on the same floor, she realized. Stupid, Cosima thought. If she would be the one to lead, she would put every office at a different place. If someone breaks in, like Sarah did, it was easy for her to find the right office. But she wasn't a general and wasn't allowed to do such a thing. Cosima first had to get through her talk with Colonel Cormier.
She passed the two guards and did like Sarah told her; she checked for the names on the doors. General Duncan. High officer Hendrix. Dr. Leekie. And a lot more she couldn't and didn't need to remember. Eventually, half past the hallway, she found the right door. Colonel D. Cormier, she read as she gulped. She defenitely was scared but Cosima couldn't go back now, could she?
After a few seconds of fearful doubt, she knocked.
"Entre," she heard. It wasn't a stern voice, not a harsh one like Sergeant Dierden's. Not one who could shout commands and felt like lightning hit the earth. It was very soft, almost kind, but still professional enough to make her heart beat louder. Was Colonel Cormier one of those women who seemed sweet, but could rip your tongue out if you disobeyed them? Cosima didn't know, but still entered the room, since that's what she's supposed to do.
And there she was. The woman Cosima smiled at. The woman who made Cosima feel like her grey world suddenly turned colourful. She sat behind her desk, a phone brought up to her ear and a glass of red wine in front of her. Paperwork covered her bureau. Cormier murmeled some French words into the phone, closed her eyes and sighed deeply. The person she was talking to had to be annoying her.
"Non.. Oui, je comprends... Oui... Non, je n'oublie pas. Merci beaucoup.. Salut."
Colonel Cormier put the phone down and sighed again, before turning to Cosima. She still awkwardly stood in the opening of the door, waiting for Cormier to tell her to sit down, to do push ups or to pack her stuff and go home.
"Sit down," she said instead. Cosima noticed the French accent in her voice when she switched languages. It actually sounded kind of sexy. Quickly Cosima adjusted herself. She was a Colonel, it would be disrespectful to think of her as sexy. Cosima walked to the stair in front of Cormier's desk and sat down, nervously staring at the powerful woman who sat in front of her.
"Do you know who I am, Cosima?" the Colonel asked. She let her head rest in her hands, while her beautiful eyes found Cosima's. The fact that Colonel Cormier knew Cosima's name frightened her, but at the same time she couldn't feel more relaxed than she did now. Somehow, the presence of Colonel Cormier made her feel safe, like Cormier didn't even want to hurt her.
"Y-yes. You are Colonel Cormier," Cosima answered, with a little stutter. This woman made her nervous in a good way, but she couldn't become disrespectful and ignore all the formalities.
"Delphine Cormier, yes. One of the two colonels here at this base. And do you know why I asked for you?"
Cosima shook her head. Delphine, it somehow felt nicer to call her like that, smiled at her. Like an elder someone who smiles at a child even though the child gave a wrong answer. Is that what Cosima was to Delphine? A child? It would make sense though. She's the Colonel and Cosima still was a recruit. Even though she was very comertable around Delphine, the difference of importance and power was almost touchable.
"Look, Cosima," Delphine said, while she stood up from behind her desk. "I like soldiers with a lot of ambition. I respect those who will do whatever it must take to get what they want. I respect you, Cosima. I've noticed you really want to join us. But people who don't play fair, people who lie, are doomed to succeed. I think we both know what I'm talking about, don't we?"
Cosima gulped and rose from her chair. Formilities wouldn't even matter right now, because she was about to be sent home anyway... Delphine watched her and didn't stop her. She just took her wineglass off the table and took a little sip out of it.
"Sorry sorry sorry, Delph- I mean, Colonel. I just.. My sister is a soldier too and I wanted to be just like her and-"
"Miss Niehaus, you don't have to explain all of this," Delphine said, while putting her glass down. "I get why you did everything. Sarah is very intelligent, quick on her feet and an excellent leader. I understand why you wanted to be like her. But not everybody is suited for the army. And I want you to be healthy, Cosima. I won't holdback any information; I'm the only one who noticed your smart tricks to bypass our tests. After talking to Sergeant Dierden a few times, I knew for sure you couldn't become a soldier without your health to aggravate. I want you to be healthy, Cosima."
Delphine takes a few steps towards her and smiles reassuring. Cosima relaxed again a bit. Her soft voice didn't make her shiver with fear. It actually comforted her. And it's been a while since another person than one of her relatives could make her 100% comfertable. Delphine made her want to step foreward and decrease the distance between them.
"Are you going to throw me out? Send me back home?" Cosima asked, a little suspicious. Delphine shook her head.
"No. At least, I don't think you want to go home, do you? No, of course not. But I think we can figure this out together, can't we, Cosima?"
Delphine stepped another step towards her. Cosima licked her lips and she had to keep herself for not making that last step towards the Colonel. She kept reminding herself that this woman could send her home if she liked to. This woman was powerful, and one misstep could end her career as a soldier. She had to know if Delphine always acted this clingy.
"Yeah, I think so," Cosima said.
"Good. I've got something in mind for you. You're not a physical type, Cosima. You're a mental type. You've got brains, you defenitely showed you've got them. I want to transfer you to a special department. You can work together with Dr. Leekie. I will keep your secret, I won't tell anyone you cheated. We get another intelligent person who helps us. It's a win-win situation. You might not become the soldier you wanted, but I believe you'll be more of use like this. But..."
Delphine took the last step. Their bellies were touching eachother every time they exhailed and Cosima was dying to wrap her arms around the Colonel. Cosima looked up into Delphine's eyes, those beautiful eyes that would haunt her tonight for sure. It seemed like she couldn't look away anymore, like nothing else mattered except those beautiful, puppy-like eyes.
"Yes?" Cosima whispered, completely hypnotized by Delphine. Like the Colonel had wrapped her around her little finger and pulled her closer inch by inch. Cosima didn't even mind anymore.
"... you will have to do something for me too.." Delphine said, her voice low now. Her tongue slowly wettened her lips and Cosima couldn't think of anything more sexier than that.
"Kiss me, Miss Niehaus..." Delphine wispered, her eyes daring her to disobey. Cosima wouldn't do anything rather than to plant her lips on the Colonel's and feel the firework that is about to unlight in her body. But, being her cheeky self, she would tease her first.
"What if I don't want to?" she asked, raising her eyebrows. Delphine showed a little smile.
"Then I have to command you kiss me, but I don't think that's necessary, is it?"
Cosima grinned and shoke her head slowly. Delphine's hand first slid behind her ear, holding her head for a few moments before she leaned in and kissed her tenderly on the lips. Cosima wrapped her arms around Delphine's neck, not even caring about respect and formalities anymore. The only thing that mattered were the delicious taste of Colonel Cormier's sweet lips and their heavy breaths between the quick kisses. Cosima sensed the smell of expensive wine, it only made her deepen the kiss. Delphine's blonde curls stroke her cheeks while her hands stroke her hips. It made Cosima crazy, made her want to explore more and more of this woman, as well physically as mentally. If Sarah only knew what they were doing...
When they broke the kiss, they breathed eachothers exhales for a few seconds, their faces only a few inches apart. Her eyes met Delphine's and a smile crept across Cosima's face.
"Do you mind to meet up again?" Colonel Cormier asked, a little out of breath. Cosima gave her another peck on the lips.
"Obvs."
Chapter two
It has been a day since Delphine and Cosima had shared their first kiss. After Cosima left, she was a little scared Delphine wouldn't keep her word. Could she thrust that woman? Wasn't she blinded by her perfect face and the delicious taste of her lips against her own? She defenitely was, but the Colonel kept her word.
The next day Cosima was escorted to Dr. Leekie. She didn't had to attempt the training sessions of Sergeant Dierden anymore and was promoted to Leekie's assistent. Not quite what Cosima wanted though. She didn't want to assist Leekie, she wanted to research herself. But it was better than nothing, wasn't it? She at least got to experiment and she was liberated of the awful training sessions.
The lab they took her was gigantic. It was huge and very modern. The glassware was barely used, there were at least 5 fume hoods, a lot of lab tables, bright white labcoats and glasses, tons of microscobes and all the other supplies that came along. Huge flatscreens, each displaying different lines of biology. One displayed molecules, the other extincted mammels and the last one showed some kind of pink background with a transparant liquid floating in it that she didn't recognize. It looked like a part of the human body.
It basically was heaven for a gal like Cosima.
Dr. Leekie walked towards them, still wearing his lab coat and his glasses, when Cosima stepped in. He spread his arms, grinning. Somebody probably already announced he was going to get a new assistent. He took Cosima's hand in both of his hands and shook it several times.
"Cosima, I see great opportunities for you. I agree that you're better of use here," Leekie said. Cosima smiled at him and nodded, also agreeing. She loved the lab, she could spend hours in here. And at the battlefield she wouldn't be helpful. Because she couldn't wear her glasses around the other soldiers, because that would betray that she cheated on the test, made her practically blind. If they would give her a gun she'd probably shoot her own people. Luckily she could also contribute to the army like this. It wasn't the kind of herotic deed Cosima had in mind, but this could work too.
"I look foreward to work with you, Dr. Leekie," Cosima said. Leekie smiled at her and nodded reassuring.
Another guy came to them, another new labcoat hung over his lower-arm. He wore glasses under his labglasses and Cosima noticed he desperately had been trying to make his shaggy hair look fancy. The man acted a little strange, like he wasn't used to see someone like Cosima. She wasn't ordinary, but neither creepy. He introduced himself, rather awkwardly, as Scott Smith as he gave Cosima her new lab coat. It already had her name tag on it. A grin spread across her face when she put it on. It fit her tiny posture perfectly.
"When will we start?" Cosima asked. She looked at Scott and then back at Leekie. Scott was trying to avoid her gaze and looked down, but Leekie smiled inviting, like he truely was happy to have her in this lab. Even though he didn't had a clue who she actually was and what her intrest were. The best thing he could know was that she had filled in on her application form that her hobbies included science.
"Immediately," Leekie said smiling.
Dr. Leekie showed her what he was working on and his previous researches for the rest of the day. It seemed like Leekie was especially entertained by evolutionary biology, especially modern and utopian evolution. Of course, his job was to research for the army, but whenever he had some free time, he would continue his work as a neolutionist. It first seemed a little odd to Cosima, but after a few hours of discussing it, she started to appreciate it. Leekie showed her his own researches, including the great flatscreen displaying the pink thing with the transparant liquid. They walked over to one of the microscobes Leekie was using just before Cosima entered into the lab. He told her he was trying to create a syntetical womb, which was actually quite fascinating.
When she had asked him if they wouldn't get caught with this, Leekie grinned. She noticed he had bright white teeth. Cosima didn't mind to bend the rules a bit, or even break them, but she couldn't imagine Scott breaking the rules, especially if big-muscled guys with guns walked around everywhere. Leekie came closer to her and rose his eyebrows a little bit while his eyes checked if someone would be eavesdropping, even though Scott was the only one in the room.
"Actually, we were caught a few weeks earlier. But the council ignored it, because 'they can't keep scientist from doing science, even if it's not the exact science for which they were hired for'," he told her with a big grin on his old, rimpled face. Cosima couldn't help but to smile back, imagining all the different kind of researches they could do.
Her first day as Leekie's assistent was rather nice. Way better than those training sessions. She actually felt kind of bad for the other rookies.
At the end of the day she got an own bedroom and bathroom indicated. She wouldn't sleep in a big hall with her force, like Sarah had to, and neither in the big tents the trainees would sleep in tonight. She had her own bed, with fresh linnen sheets and a little desk. A clean toilet, a proper douchecabin and a closet. The sight of her new domicile made Cosima grin with happiness. This was defenitely an improvement.
The next morning she was expected at the lab around 11 AM. Cosima was already used to the early hours of Sergeant Dierden, so it felt strange to wake up around 8 AM and being able to sleep for another few hours. Leekie told her she at least had to be there at 11, since that's the time when the brain starts to wake up. Cosima, of course, already knew that little fact, but she was glad there was at least someone using it to their benefit. Back in high school Cosima had often pointed out the teachers shouldn't take tests before 11 AM, because the pupils' brains couldn't fully function. No one had listened to her. Now, she was glad to meet someone who thought the same as she did.
When she walked through the corridor, Delphine crept up in her thoughts. Cosima couldn't erease her beautiful face off of her mind until late at night and when she woke up, the first thing she thought of was Delphine. She fantasized a long time about the gorgeous woman, needy for her lips on her own again. It was like every second away from Delphine made it harder to forget her. Cosima couldn't help but to grin dorkily to the ground by the thought of Colonel Cormier and her stupid need to be with her.
It took a few minutes to find the lab again. Cosima got lost at least twice, but luckily a few good guys pointed out the right way, recognizing her because she was the 'new girl' around here. When she entered the lab and was about to put on her lab coat, Leekie walked up to her. A charming smile on his face, as always.
"Cosima," he said. "In a few minutes I have to attempt an important meeting and I thought that you could join me."
He raised his eyebrows questioning.
Cosima blinked astonished for a few seconds. She actually expected a lazy second day in the lab, just helping Leekie with his experiments or she would be trying to accomplish her mission to get Scott a little more comfertable around her. She didn't expect Leekie to bring her to one of those important meetings with the council. All the people who actually were going to be there... All the important people were... Delphine was going to be there!
A grin appeared on Cosima's face as soon as she realized. She nodded quickly. Leekie smiled at her and took off his own labcoat. He hung it on one of the hooks on the wall, next to Cosima's and Scott's. Cosima wondered if Leekie knew she wasn't excited for the meeting, but for the very good-looking person that was also going to be there.
"It might be better if we go now. The meeting will start in ten minutes and it takes at least five minutes to get there," Scott announced, while he shut down the flatscreens, the laptops and all the other electrical appliances, to save energy. The classical music that played on the background got shut off. When Scott was done he came towards them, his hands placed in his pockets and his curious, soft eyes first gazing at Cosima before looking at Leekie. You could see he was still a boy, needy for someone to tell him what to do.
"You're right, Scott," Dr. Leekie agreed. He smiled at both of them, before he walked towards the door, opened it and kept it open until Cosima and Scott entered the corridor first. She heard a little click when the door shut and locked.
Scott probably knew the way to the meeting room, but he wouldn't walk. He stood there, awkwardly, waiting for her or Leekie to walk so he could follow. Cosima didn't know the way, so she also had to wait. Dr. Leekie noticed his assisents were a little lost, one because he was too shy and one because she still saw all these halls in the Great Building as one giant maze. Leekie smiled reassuring to them when he passed them and started to lead them through the labyrinth. They made eye contact for a second or two, until they both followed the old man.
Scott's guess was almost exact. It took them about 5 minutes to get to the meeting room. When they entered it, Cosima noticed they were one of the first ones. It was a basic meeting room, with a one large table in the middle of the room, with a lot of chairs around it. There were no windows, but she doubted if this whole building had any other windows. Little spots were placed in the ceiling, brighting up the room. There was a big screen placed in front of the table, probably for a powerpoint that was going to be shown in a few minutes time.
There were two others already arrived, drinking coffee from plastic cups while talking merrily. She didn't recognize them, neither of them. Both women. The first woman, who wore a fancy dress that suited her tiny figure well, had a harsh figure. Her nose was up in the air and she tried to look down on her fellow collegue, even though she was bigger than her. She just put her nose higher in the air and looked at him like he was dirt. Her perfectly cut, blonde hair suited her stature well. Cosima knew she shouldn't let a cheesy comment slip out of her mound if this woman was nearby. At least the woman she was talking to looked a lot nicer. Her black to darkbrown hair was tied up in a bun and a long, white coat hung over her shoulders. When her eyes took notice of Leekie, she turned her back to the strict woman and walked over to them. A grin appeared on both of their faces.
"Marian!" Dr. Leekie said, while he took her hand in both of his, shaking it eagerly, like he did with Cosima yesterday.
"Aldous! Don't tell me you've rubbed your hands with some dirty gel."
"What I do in my free time is my business," Leekie said, chuckling. "Marian, may I introduce you to Cosima Niehaus, my new assistant. Cosima, this is one of my collegues, Marian Bowles. You've met Scott already, haven't you, Marian?"
The woman smiled at Scott and he smiled back, a little shy. They both gave eachother a nod before Marian Bowles turned to Cosima.
"So you're Cosima? I've heard some nice things about you," Marian said, while she stuck out her hand to meet Cosima's. She smiled at Marian, nodded and shook her hand. After they both got their hands back, Marian folded her arms over eachother in front of her chest.
"Ah." Cosima chuckled and put her hand on her flank. "And which 'nice things' have you heard?"
She was a little anxious a big gossip about her cheating has been going around through the staff. Leekie seemed to know her, Marian knows her.. Did Delphine tell something? A knot formed in her tummy and fear spread through her body for a few seconds. Her breath seemed to stuck in her throat.
"I've heard you've got amazing qualities, better than the regular soldier. I'm glad we recruited and promoted you," Marian Bowles said.
Cosima exhailed loudly, half laughing and half sighing relieved. Scott gave her a look but she ignored it.
"Anyway, mind if we talk privately for a few seconds, Aldous?" she asked, fixing her attention on Dr. Leekie again. He smiled and nodded.
"Just a few seconds them, you two sit can down," Leekie said to Scott and Cosima as he walked off with Marian to a quiet corner. Cosima looked at both of them for a few seconds before turning to Scott.
"Well, let's sit down then," she said smiling. Scott nodded and followed her to the table.
They chose a place close to the big doors through which the other council members entered the room. Scott would want to leave as soon as possible when this meeting was over, Cosima thought. And she was pretty intrested in which people would attempt, since two other councilmembers just walked into the meeting room. Scott tapped her arm and indicated at both of them. The first woman, with just as lionmane-like hair as Sarah had, seemed to be pretty cheerful. She chatted delighted with another woman with bright red hair, cut short.
"See, that's Admiral Fitzsimmons, leadster of our Fleet, and Major General Obinger, transported from Germany to serve our army. She's basically the expert on bombs and such," Scott explained. Cosima tilted her head a little to the left, staring fascinated at the two women.
Everytime someone else walked into the room, Scott would tell her who they were. General of air force Sawicki, a handsome young man with a goatee. Lieutenant Hendrix was talking the Detectives Childs, Bell and DeAngelis. All three worked for the American Army, spying on Russia and North-Korea. Scott told her they came, once in a few weeks, to pass through information. And then there was Major Fournier, Captain Giordano & Commander Zingler. They were all three wallflowers, not very presence and talking quietly. Eventually Sarah came in, together with Felix and Cal. Behind her, Chief Helena walked. Scott told her Helena rather was named by her normal name, but people used to say she didn't even have a backname. Not that it mattered. Without any doubt Helena was the scariest one of them all. Except for maybe General Duncan. At least Chief Helena still had some child-like, discovering behaviour that made Cosima feel a lot more comfertable around her than Duncan.
Sarah greeted her quickly, but her attention got caught by the confersation Cal and Felix seemed to have. The two sisters were both intrested in other things.
Cosima kept looking at the door. Everyone is supposed to be here now and the meeting was about to start... But Colonel Cormier hadn't arrived yet... Cosima didn't dare to ask Scott if Delphine was still coming, because she actually isn't supposed to know her... At least, not as well as she actually knew Delphine...
She almost gave up and was about to start a confersation with Scott when she walked through those doors. Her grey laptop clenched under her arm and her blonde curls bouncing on her shoulders with every step she made. Cosima's heart made a jump and she couldn't help but to grin, her tongue poking through her teeth.
"Colonel Cormier!"
Leekie's voice echoed through the room. He left Marian Bowles in her little dark corner, sipping coffee from a cup, and walked over to Delphine. To Cosima's surprise, Delphine smiled inviting at Dr. Leekie and even walked over him a few steps. When Leekie had smiled at her, he looked in the direction of Cosima and Scott, welcoming them with his eyes to join the confersation. Scott stood up, with an awkward smile on his face already. Cosima stood up too and together they walked over to Leekie and Delphine. She noticed jitters formed in her belly, crawling around in her body like a bunch of butterflies was released in it. Her heart pumped blood through her body faster than she ever felt it doing and her mind was going blanc. The only thing that matter now was Delphine's beautiful smile.
"I have to say, Delphine, that I've been so glad you recruited Cosima," Leekie began. Delphine smiled at him and murmeled a simpule 'Thank you'.
"She hasn't been around long but I already noticed she will be of great use! I don't think you two have met, do you?" he asked, asking the question to no one particular. His eyes switched from Delphine's to hers. Cosima decided to play the game. No one, except Delphine and herself maybe, knew that Cosima and Delphine knew eachother already. And she actually was dying to feel those soft hands of her again.
"No, we haven't," Cosima said, smiling. Delphine's smile grew bigger, just a little. It might be invisable for someone who didn't pay enough attention, but Cosima did. She saw and she knew Delphine thought the same. They would both play the game to fool Leekie and Scott.
She stack out her hand to meet Cosima's. Their soft skin brushing against eachother and their fingers gripping eachother's hands. She could barely function normal. Her thoughts were screaming and making her head dizzy. Or it could be those amazing puppy eyes again. Cosima didn't know and didn't mind.
"Enchantée," Delphine said, tightening her grip on Cosima's hand for a second. Her voice got lower, just a little, when she spoke French. She couldn't deny it wasn't the most sexy thing ever. Their eyes met and smiles were exchanged. She was completely hypnosized by Delphine, not able to tell if her legs felt like cooked spaghetti because of her hair, her eyes, her smile, her face or just everything together.
"Enchantée," Cosima tried to immitate. Even though it sounded like shit, Delphine chuckled softly. She withdraw her hand softly and Cosima let go too, pretty sad it couldn't last longer. Or she couldn't feel those hands on her cheek like she felt yesterday.
"The meeting is about to start.." Scott announced, meaning we should all sit down and get our laptops out to take notes. Cosima gave him an annoyed glare and coughed a little. Did he had to interrupt this moment? Even though the meeting was about to start? She didn't even care about it anymore, she just wanted to hold Delphine's hand a little longer.
"Yes, let's sit," Delphine said. She forgot Scott and his stupidy and could only think of her very nice accent when she talked english. "Mind if I sit next to you, Aldous?"
Dr. Leekie smiled at her and invited her by opening his arms. His old, blue eyes seemed to sparkle, just like they had done when he talked about his researches.
"Of course."
Delphine nodded and smiled. She gave Leekie a different smile than she had given Cosima. Leekie's was small and reserved, like she just had to smile at him because of her formalities. But when she smiled to Cosima, it seemed like a whole different person was looking at her. Free, and happy, a little shy. Cosima preferred the smile Delphine gave her.
They all sat down. Leekie placed himself next to General Duncan. Cosima got a little nervous, sitting nearby that woman who rather would be a robot than an actual person. But she wouldn't have to talk to her, so it didn't matter. Delphine took place at Leekie's other side. Their eyes met again, Delphine's welcoming and inviting. Like that spot next to her was meant for Cosima. A cheesy smile appeared on her face as she sat down next to Delphine. Scott preferred a place at the back of the room, far away from all those people. And Cosima noticed why. The generals, officers, colonels, chiefs and all the others looked at her like she shouldn't be there. It felt like she had to earn her place, like she couldn't sit next to Delphine without proving she actually was useful. Cosima ignored the looks and just stack her nose in the air, like she saw General Duncan do as well, even though she might do it for different reasons.
A few minutes before the meeting began, everybody took their laptop out and turned it on. The most important people, like Duncan, Cosima noticed, had someone who took notes for them. Scott took the notes for Dr. Leekie and she knew she actually had to do that as well. But when Leekie gave her a charming wink, she knew that he didn't mind she didn't do anything at her first meeting. The officers who were ranked a little lower were expected to write down everything themselves, like Delphine was supposed to do. But she didn't. Her left hand slipped under the table while her right hand tried to type, which, of course, didn't work. Cosima wettened her lips with the tip of her tongue and she tried to stay as calm as possible, even when Delphine touched her upper-leg slightly with her fingers. Slowly, without anyone noticing, she placed her right hand on her leg, under the table.
Quick like a snake, Delphine's hand brushed hers. Her long, slender fingers drew cirkels on the top of Cosima's hand. A shiver ran down her spine by the sweet touching. She had to force herself not to grin immediately. Only the corners of her mouth curled up into a small smile. Their fingers embraced, hooking into eachother and never letting go. The butterflies were unleashed in her stomach and a happy feeling spread through her veins, pumped by her fast beating heart. How could one woman, who she barely knew, could make Cosima feel like this?
The meeting started and Delphine tried to take notes. But it was impossible to type with one hand and with the high speed of General Duncan's voice. Half past the meeting Colonel Cormier just gave up and listened. Her head rested on her right hand while her left was still intertwined with Cosima's. They both didn't mind, obviously enjoying the feeling of keeping someone close like this.
It took at least an hour for the meeting to finish. It must've been intresting, since Leekie has been listening with a frowned brow all the time. Cosima didn't even know what General Duncan was talking about, and by the startled look on Delphine's face when the meeting suddenly came to an end, it was clear she hadn't got a clue either. They were too busy with their hands under the table. Placing them flat on eachother, Delphine drawing cirkels on Cosima's handpalm or Cosima playing with Delphine's fingers, one by one. It distracted them, but Cosima couldn't care less. Scott took notes and she would look at them later, maybe even sent them to Delphine. Her words document was still opened at the display of her laptop with only 4 whole sentences written in it.
When everybody stood up, they also did. Their hands were still intertwined, until the moment it was time to go seperate ways again. Delphine's name was called at the other end of the room and Cosima had to leave with Leekie and Scott to head back to the lab again. Their eyes met one last time before they both walked to their own group, like nothing ever happened. When Cosima left the meeting room, she gazed over her shoulder to the blonde puppy. Delphine didn't notice her, so she could enjoy a second or two of the view. But Scott took her by the arm and dragged her away from Delphine. He was, again, ruining the moment.
The three of them walked back to the lab and entered it, by pushing their cards against the scanner. The door opened and they got in again, all three scooting into their lab coats.
"Hey, Cosima," Scott said. "Because you're part of the team now, I think it's time for you to have your own laptop."
Cosima rose her eyebrows.
"Oh, we all get a new laptop around here, all secured with the newest and safest technology, to keep hackers out, you know," Scott explained, while he put on his lab coat. He took off to the magazine and got back with a brand new laptop. It had a sticker of coloured DNA on the back.
"I thought you would like this, I mean.. I heard you like genetics and such, and like this we won't mix up our laptops," Scott said, while handing the laptop over to her. She blinked in surprise, murmeling a generous thank you. Scott helped her to start it up, set a new password and install all the programs that were needed. When they were ready, Cosima logged into her e-mail.
"Could you send me those notes about the meeting?" Cosima asked. Scott laughed a little and nodded, hurrying to his own laptop to send them immediately. If Cosima could only get Delphine's e-mail, she could mail the notes to her. In a minute or two she saw the email of Scott come up on her desk, with a little 'pling'.
"Thanks!" she said. Scott murmeled a 'you're welcome', while he put his laptop on one of the lab tables. He was about to walk off to Leekie, who already sat behind his microscobe, looking with his old eyes through the lenses.
"Oh, Scott," Cosima said, raising her hands. He turned around. She smiled at him, waving her hands as an apology. "Sorry, sorry, sorry for bothering you, but.. ehm.."
She signed him to come closer. He looked back at Leekie, who didn't seem to notice anything. Scott looked down as he walked over her, putting his hands in the pockets of his coat.
"Could you help me with something? I need to figure out an e-mail and I thought you could help me," she said, scratching at the back of her head. Scott's nervous eyes looked into hers, not knowing what to answer.
"Depends on who's e-mail I have to help you with.." he said eventually, after a few seconds of silance. Cosima smiled. Delphine's e-mail shouldn't be too hard, should it?
"Colonel Cormier's e-mail," she said in a whisper. Leekie couldn't know, or he might suspect something. If he would find out, Cosima could bet her ass that he was going to tell General Duncan, since he and Duncan seemed to be pretty close.. At least, how close Duncan could become with someone... And if General Duncan knew, she was defenitely going to be send home.
Scott's eyes widened.
"C-colonel Cormier? I'm not supposed to find out the e-mails of the other council members... We didn't get secured laptops for nothing, you know.. Sorry, Cosima, but I really can't help you with this."
Cosima sighed loudly and moaned out of annoyance. Her head dropped in her hands and for a moment it just stayed there, her mind thinking at top speed. He just had to give her Delphine's damn e-mail. That isn't a crime, is it? She just wants to send her the notes, because it was her fault she couldn't take any. Is that too much to ask? Well, if she couldn't mail them to Delphine, she would print out the notes and just bring them to her in personal. That might be even a better idea too..
Cosima lifted up her head, a chocky smile spread across her face as she looked at Scott. The boy backed up a little bit, not quite sure how to react at her sudden moodchange.
"Well, you already sent them to me. I'll just print them out and bring them over," she said, proud of her own intelligence. Scott raised his eyebrows curiously.
"Why would you do that? She took her own notes.."
It might be better not to answer that question, Cosima thought doubtfully. He might start to dig and that was pretty much the last thing Cosima would want. She copied the text of Scott's email and placed them in a Word Document. In a minute or two a few pages were printed out and ready for transport. Cosima grabbed them, swung her labcoat off of her shoulders and threw it over the closest chair.
"That doesn't matter. I'll be back in a few seconds, okey?" she said.
Cosima took off before Scott could even reply. She rushed out of the lab, closing the big, steel door behind her and walked in a hurry through the maze of corridors. The bright white walls seemed to fade into one giant blur while Cosima started to walk faster. She didn't know why. Maybe she just wanted to get to Delphine as soon as possible, even though she just saw her a couple of minutes ago. A little smile spread across her face, realizing this woman already had her wrapped around her littlefinger. She could play Cosima like she was a puppet and she didn't even mind.
It took her at least half an hour to get to Colonel Cormier's office. All the halls looked the same and were easily mistaken, like Cosima had done at least five times. Eventually, with a little help of a few guards, she found the right floor and made the security believe she only came to drop off some notes. The papers in her hand made the guys believe her. She passed them and walked straight to the right door. There was no need to look at the name tags, because Cosima remembered the wooden door pretty well. She knocked and heard Delphine's sweet voice commanding her to enter the room. Her hands closet around the handle and pushed it down and entered the room.
The room had barely changed. Again, there was a bottle of wine placed on the clean desk. Bloodred wine was poured into a high, crystal glass with the prints of Delphine's lipstick on the edge. The woman who left the prints sat behind the desk, eagerly typing on her laptop. When she noticed Cosima, a soft smile appeared on her face, not surprised at all.
"Bonjour Cosima," she greeted her. Cosima's leg seemed to turn into jelly by her voice, even more pleasuring her ears when she spoke French.
"Hello, Delphine," Cosima said. A dorky smile, with her tongue poking through her teeth, appeared on her face. She helt up the papers and walked over to her desk. "I think you might wanted the notes.. Scott took them, if you don't mind."
Delphine's eyes left hers for a few seconds, scanning the papers. Her smile grew wider while she took it and placed it on her laptop's keyboard. Then, her eyes turned back to Cosima's and she couldn't help but to get lost into them. A little voice in her head reminded her of her formalities. You don't know Delphine that well, it warned. Cosima knew she didn't and better couldn't take any risks, but she couldn't help herself. She took a few steps closer to the desk, her eyes never leaving Delphine's eyes. Colonel Cormier bowed foreward, decreasing the space between them.
"Is there anything else I must do, Colonel?" Cosima asked. Delphine licked her lips slowly as she stood up. Her teeth bit her underlip for a few seconds and Cosima couldn't think of anything else but those lips against her own.
"Actually, there might be something, Miss Niehaus.." Delphine said. She took slow steps as she walked around her bureau, to be sure desire grew inside of Cosima at every step she took.
"I'd be happy to serve you, Colonel.." she said. Her mouth became dry and she was almost sure Delphine could hear her heart beating louder than it ever did. She had to keep herself from taking those last two steps towards her and shove her against that desk of hers.
"Good..." Delphine said, her eyes sliding from Cosima's eyes to her lips. She noticed how Delphine's chest was going up and down faster and faster and her steps became hasty. Cosima knew Delphine was as desperate as she was to the touch of their lips.
Both of them took the last step at the same time. Their bellies touched when they exhaled and their noses were barely a few inches away of eachother. She could smell her breath, a delicious smell of red wine mixed with the sweet smell of her strong parfume.
"I don't think I have to command you now, do I?" Delphine asks, her voice a little higher and hoarser than it was just a few seconds ago. The cheesy grin appeared on Cosima's face again.
"No.." she wispered, as she leaned in for a passionate kiss. Their arms brought their bodies even closer, but it didn't feel close enough. They deepened the kiss but Cosima wanted to taste more of Delphine. Her body was roaring of happiness and was kept happy by Delphine's hands that slowly stroked over her cheek, her neck and her shoulder. Barely anything in her life had felt as nice as that kiss.
And Delphine felt it too, because in the coming weeks, they almost spend every night together. After her tiring hours in the lab, Cosima would always sneak to Delphine's office. Colonel Cormier made sure she was on the list at all times, so the guards could never disallow her to go to Delphine's office. Some nights were spent with passionate kisses, deep stares and hugs because no words were needed to make the other person understand their feelings. Other nights, depending on both of their moods, were spent with a bottle of wine. Sipping their glasses they told about their lifes before they joined the army. They told about their family, friends, what they loved to do, their hobbies and every fun little fact they could enumerate about themselves. Cosima started to feel more and more for the Colonel. There wasn't only desire anymore, but actual feelings that drove her crazy every night that she didn't spent with her new lover.
Nobody noticed anything about them. Not at meetings and nobody ever questioned Cosima when she sneaked out of her room once again. The guards were used about her little visits ever day and didn't even question her anymore. Until one night their lives collapsided.
Cosima knocked on the door and just entered right away, not even waiting for Delphine to tell her to come in. It wasn't necessary anymore and Delphine didn't even look up from her desk anymore when she walked in.
"Bonsoir, ma cherie," she said. Cosima grinned and walked over to her.. well, she wouldn't say girlfriend just yet, but she sure would be her girlfriend if they got a little more time.
"Good evening," Cosima said, while she placed a kiss on her cheek. "What are you working on?"
Delphine showed her the typed Word pages, sighing like a hungry zombie. Cosima knew this mood. This was her I-actually-work-too-much-but-I-can't-stop-or-I'll-get-in-trouble-mood. She knew how to handle this. Cosima covered Delphine's long, slender fingers with her own so they weren't able to type any more sentences. Her face nuzzled in her hair and her lips gave a quick kiss on her head.
"Let's just leave that for a moment and relax, Delphine.." she whispered. Delphine made a noice of a mix of a moan and a chuckle and turned around in her chair.
"Okey then.." she smiled, while she leaned in for a soft kiss on Cosima's lips. She wrapped her arms around Delphine's neck and kissed back eagerly. After a long day she missed Delphine's touches. Luckily she didn't had to wait much longer.
They broke their kiss for a few seconds so Delphine could stand up. It felt easier for both of them if Delphine was the taller one, even though Cosima would never admit that. At some days she hated that Delphine was just a few inches longer than she was, but today it felt nice to wrap herself up in Delphine's arms while a safe feeling was pumped through her vains as easily as blood. Their kiss got intenser and before both of them knew what was going on, Cosima shoved Delphine against the wall. Their breathing became louder and their hands discovered eachothers bodies like they never touched it before. Their kisses got intenser. Cosima's fingers were already busy unbuttoning the buttons of Delphine's blouse while Delphine's hands slid under her T-Shirts and stroked her back, kissing her neck and collarbone.
Neither of them noticed a person was coming in until she coughed a little. Cosima's eyes opened and widened shocked as she pushed herself off of Delphine immediately. Both of them looked startled in the eyes of the visitor. But before Delphine mumbled her name, Cosima recognized her. The blonde, short hair, strict expression and her lips pushed together until they formed a thin line on her face...
"G-general Duncan..."
Chapter three
General Duncan looked at them with the most disgusted face someone could ever make. It was the only emotion Cosima ever saw on her face in the time she was here, and it scared her that she was looking at her and Delphine like that. Her eyes were cold. It felt like she was planning how to punish them, what to do with them now she caught them.
"Colonel Cormier, Miss Niehaus, I think you might want to come by when you buttoned your shirt and seem to gain some of your dignity again. Be there in 5 minutes."
Her voice was cold, the same like her eyes. Duncan glanced one last time before she turned her back and walked out of Delphine's office. She shut the door with a slam and the sound of her heels clicking on the wooden floor in the hal could still be heared.
Delphine layd her hand on her forehead and sighed deeply. She bit her lip hard and this time she didn't let go of it after a few seconds. Cosima turned around towards the girl and tried to grab her hand, but Delphine pulled away. Tears gathered in Delphine's eyes and she looked up to the ceiling to prevend them from leaking out of them. She breathed fast and hard. Cosima was scared she was going to hyperventilate.
"Delphine, it's alright, we're just going to-"
"What are we going to do, Cosima?" Delphine said, with wided eyes. The usual dark brown puppy eyes looked desperate for an answer. An answer Cosima couldn't give her. She didn't know what to do. She didn't know what to say to General Duncan, to convince her to just ignore all of this. She hadn't spend much time with Duncan these past few weeks, but she did know that she wasn't as easy as Scott to convince. Duncan knew what she saw. She knew about their relationship and would defenitely try to get them down. The General could do everything. She could send them home... She was THE General. Duncan had all the power. They simply couldn't do anything except for begging for mercy. Cosima sighed and played with her fingers. Something told her that General Duncan wasn't the woman who would give a person mercy when they have done something wrong... There was a very little chance they could continue with their little meetings and keep their rangs.
"I don't know..." she admitted.
"Exactly!" Delphine said furiously. She turned around and took a deep breath, but it didn't calm her down. The woman walked around her office, breathing heavily while trying to come up with a plan. The way she looked and cursed herself and everything around her, Cosima could see she neither was able to make a plan. Her fingers struggeld to button her blouse. The small buttons seemed too small for her usual delicate, long and slender fingers, which now rapidly struggled to close her shirt. The fact she was shaking didn't help.
Cosima stepped foreward and offered to close it for her. Delphine wanted to walk away, but she grabbed her girlfriend by the hand and kept her close. Their eyes locked intensely, gazing at eachother with mixed emotions. Cosima was determined to calm her down. They couldn't appear on the meeting with Duncan with wet and swollen eyes. It will only make them look even weaker. Delphine has to calm down. She helped Delphine with her blouse.
"Delphine, listen to me, okey?" Cosima said. Delphine tried to look away but she snapped her fingers in front of the Colonel's face. "Hey, listen! We can't run from this. We knew it was going to happen eventually. We just have to make a plan."
"But there's nothing we can do!" Delphine said upset. Tears gathered in her eyes again and Cosima wanted to give her a hug. A kiss on the cheek to tell her that everything was gonna be alright. But Delphine didn't want a hug or a kiss. She wanted a solution. So Cosima was going to give her one.
"That's the whole point," she said, throwing her hands in the air. "We can't do anything. But we have to stay together. I know it all seems hopeless, really, I do. But it's the only thing we've got. Duncan can make us do everything but she can't break our relationship if we stay together. We'll find a way."
Cosima slowly lifted her hand to touch Delphine's face. The woman first tried to pull away but changed her mind and let her.
"She could send us home, you know that right?" Delphine said. Her eyes were avoiding Cosima's, looking at everything except meeting her gaze.
"I know... But what else have we to offer Duncan? She's a General, she can let us do everything. She only thing we have is our affaire... If we turn our backs to eachother, we're... we're lost.."
Delphine wetted her lips with the point of her tongue and sighed. Cosima knew Delphine started to realize they really didn't have anything to offer Duncan. They could only stay together and hope for the best. Because if they didn't, all their struggles have been for nothing.
Her girlfriend sighed, but it wasn't the tired slash angry sigh she had let out of her mouth a few moments before. She sounded less exhausted. Like she regained her motivation.
"Okey then," Delphine said. "Duncan expects us in her office in a few minutes. Do you have any idea what to tell her?"
Cosima shrugged.
"I was kinda hoping you could do some talking," she admitted. She knew her cheeky behaviour wouldn't be appreciated by the General. Delphine was politer and knew when to shut up. Cosima would just hide behind her back and nod in approval or say: "What she said." whenever Duncan would ask her something. It may be better for both of them if she would keep her mouth shut.
Delphine rolled her eyes and sighed as she tucked her blouse in her pants. She checked her hair one last time and took a deep breath. Cosima buttoned her pants quickly. She hadn't even noticed Delphine unbuttoned those already but she mostly concentrated on their lips meeting over and over again.
"Let's go," the blonde said.
Delphine locked the door behind them and together they walked towards General Duncan's office. Her office was at the end of the corridor. Instead of the regular dark-wooden doors, the door leading towards Duncan's office was made of shiny steel. Cosima wondered what files the General kept hidden behind those doors. But that might be the last thing she should worry about right now.
Delphine took a deep breath again and knocked on the door. The sound echoed through the hall and the few seconds they had to wait until they heard Duncan's voice commanding them to come in were unbearable. Nervous tickles gathered in Cosima's belly and scrawled around like thousands of insects invading her body. It felt horrible and she was scared to death. Delphine seemed to suffer from the same sympthoms because when Cosima's hand found hers, she noticed she was shaking.
"It'll be alright," mouthed Cosima, just before opened the giant door. It was heavy and it took them a few seconds to open and close it. Cosima immediately didn't like Duncan's office. It was like they were trapped in an enormous cage of steel, completely isolated from the world. A nuclear bomb could explode outside and they wouldn't know. It frightened Cosima even more...
Besides the uncomfertable feeling Cosima got by just being in this room, the room seemed to be pretty nice. It was very light because the sun shone through the huge windows. It probably were the only windows in the whole building, Cosima thought. The walls were light grey, almost white, while the floor was a darker kind of grey. There was a big desk made of glass with a laptop, another computer and some papers on top of it. She wondered why the hell the General wanted a laptop AND a computer, but it probably was better not to ask. Duncan sat behind her desk, typing on her laptop, not even looking up when the two of them entered the room and saluted. On both sides of the desk, huge cupboards were placed against the walls. The cupboars had different drawers, probably filled with files about secret operations or the registration of every soldier in the army.
"Sit down," Duncan said. Her voice was as cold and professional just as it has been a few minutes ago. She didn't look up but Cosima knew she was watching them out of the corners of her eyes. They sat down in the leather armchairs in front of the desk. The chairs weren't comfertable at all and Cosima wondered if that was on purpose. To make the officers and soldiers even more uncomfertable waiting until General Duncan was ready with typing. It worked. She didn't feel comfertable at all, not even with Delphine nearby, which usually calmed her down. Cosima pointed her look at her fingers, which were playing nervously with eachother while she waited.
After a few moments, the ritmatic sound of Duncan's fingers stopped. She straightened her back some more at looked at them. Cosima was unable to guess what she was thinking. As usual, General Duncan's face was emotionless. She did never betray her feelings. And if she would, it was usually of disgust. She was glad Duncan didn't look at them with the same disgusted look on her face she always had when the other officers at the big meeting talked about something not worth her time. Clearly they were worth her time.. But for how long?
Duncan took a deep breath and looked at the papers on her desk. Cosima now noticed they weren't just papers. They were files. They were their files...
"Colonel Cormier, could you explain to my why you filled in heterosexual, when the question 'What's your sexuality?' was asked on the application when you got here a few years ago? Because it doesn't makes sense to me," Duncan looked daring at Delphine, like she invited her to speak back at her. Everybody with a good working brain wouldn't, and so didn't Delphine. When she kept silent, Duncan's eyes focussed on Cosima's.
"At least you were honest with us, Miss Niehaus."
"She didn't know, General," Cosima blurted out. Delphine gave her a look but she ignored it. "She didn't know she was intrested in girls until.. until I kissed her."
This time Delphine looked wide eyed at her. By the look on her face she couldn't believe that Cosima was lying to one of the most powerful women in the country. She ignored her girlfriend, looking at her turn darely at Duncan.
"You kissed her?" the General asked. She raised one of her eyesbrows and stared at her for a few seconds, like she was trying to find out if she was lying or not. Of course Cosima was, but Duncan didn't know that.
"Obviously, I kissed her. A perfect leader like Delphine would never to such a thing."
The General narrowed her eyes and tilted her head a bit to the left, still analyzing Cosima. But she kept playing her role. It was better to go on with the lie she told. Maybe Duncan would spare Delphine. She would get send home, but that was worth it. Delphine would loose way more than her if she was forced to go home.
"Miss Niehaus, you say you kissed Colonel Cormier, but when I came in, I defenitely saw no sign of disgust. She wasn't trying to free herself from your... grip," General Duncan sternly said. She said the word 'grip' like it was something dirty, a foul word. Cosima had to agree, the way she had pinned Delphine to the wall wasn't very professional.
"Because I kept her there," she said.
"Do you really want me to believe that you, Miss Niehaus, kept Colonel Cormier there? First of all, she's bigger, has completed her whole training and trains still every day, unlike you. There's no possible way you could control her," snaps Duncan angrily. Her blonde, short hair bounces towards her cheek with every word she snarled at them.
Cosima opened her mouth, but Duncan raised her hand to keep her silent.
"I've heard enough," she said. The General lowered her hand and laid it on the desk of glass. Her hazel eyes were fixed on Cosima's. They had the same colour as her eyes, just the same. But they were entirely different. It was even unable to compare the two. While Cosima's eyes usually looked kind, or at least she tried to make them look that way, General Duncan's eyes looked harsh, cold and emotionless. Like she just used them to see with instead of also expression emotions with them. At this very moment she even doubted Duncan had any feelings. Because it seemed like she didn't. Or just disgust. The big amount of disgust visible in her eyes was overwelming and she got nervous because the disgusted gaze was pointed at her.
"I've made my decision," the General said. She cleared her throat. "Miss Niehaus, you can stay and work with Leekie. We can't afford loosing any of our scientists, we've only got three of them. But Colonel Cormier, I'm sending you back to Europe."
"What?!" Both girls cried out at the same time, their eyes widing.
"You will not return to the France army, in which you participated in before you came to Canada. I will ask the German army if they've got another place for you, which I know they will. We will buy the ticket for your flight, you will leave in a few days."
"You can't do this!" Cosima yelled, tears gathering in her eyes. No, she couldn't. She just couldn't. Duncan couldn't sent Delphine away. They needed a strong Colonel here. They didn't have another Colonel. She was the only one. Who else should take her place? There was no one as suitable for the job than Delphine. No one.
She couldn't loose her. Her body started to shake. Why had Duncan to do this? Why couldn't she just let them be, let them be happy? Why had she to destroy their happiness? They were barely together. It was going to work. They were almost there. Cosima wanted to ask Delphine if she wanted to be her girlfriend this evening, after they were done with eachother and layd in Delphine's bed, cuddling. She planned this... Cosima had planned this for ages. Fantasized about it, dreamed about it. And it was almost becoming reality...
Duncan couldn't send her away. She needed Delphine. She wanted Delphine, Cosima couldn't loose her. But a small voice in her head told her Duncan could. The General could send her away. She was powerful, more powerful than Cosima would probably ever get. Duncan could do everything. She could make them immigrate both of them.
How cruel could one person be?
The General raised her eyebrows, daring her to speak against her again.
"Oh, I can't? I repeat: I'm going to contact the German army and ask if there's any place for Colonel Cormier there. We can't use people like her. She'll be on the plane in two days. And it seems like I can, Miss Niehaus."
Tears started to leak out of her eyes, blurring her vision. The wet drops were warm as they rolled down her cheek. One ended up near her lips and they tasted salty when she opened her mouth again to scream something. To swear. To fight against Duncan's will. But she couldn't... Cosima was unable to speak, she was unable to do anything.
"I think that's all, you two can go," Duncan said, already averting her gaze to her laptop.
Delphine stood up, numbed. Her eyes were empty, gazing hollow into nothing while she saluted and made her way to the door. She said nothing, not even tried to argue.
But Cosima was unable to stand up. Her body shaked too much. If she would even try to stand up, she would defenitely fall back in her chair, if not on the ground. The pain that was spreading through her body felt like it tore her apart. She couldn't think straight, and she always could. She wasn't even able to control her own body anymore.
"Cosima..."
Delphine's voice sounds as empty as her eyes have looken. But it brings her back to reality. Her body feels like it got a reboost. Her shaking continued, but for a different reason. Her hands shook because she was so angry. Her eyes focussed on Duncan.
"Why?"
Duncan looked up from her laptop.
"Excuse me?" she asked annoyed, raising both of her perfect eyebrows again. She probably wondered why that daring PhD student interrupted and talked back to her again. It just simply didn't matter to Cosima anymore. There wasn't even a reason to stay anymore.
"Why do you hate us? Why are you doing this to us?" she asked.
A little smile appeared on the General's face.
"You forget, Miss Niehaus, that none of this is personal."
It felt like she just got slapped in the face. Wide eyed Cosima looked at Duncan. Why the hell isn't it personal if you caught two lovers being together and sending one off to fucking Germany!
Duncan kept looking at her, obviously enjoying the anger that welled up. But she would only give Duncan another reason to send her home. Then neither of them would get what they wanted.
"Cosima..." Delphine said again. This time, she laid her hand on her left shoulder, squeezing it tightly. She must've meant it to be reassuring, but it only pissed her off more. The hand who had traced many paths down her body suddenly felt uncomfertable and wrong on her shoulder. But she knew it was time to go. There was no way she could ever fight, and win, a discussion with General Duncan without loosing everything she had. Cosima was about to loose Delphine and she couldn't make it any worse to punch Duncan in her face.
"Fine," she growled. Cosima shook off Delphine's hand from her shoulder, refused to salute and stamped out of the room, with an apologizing blonde behind her. Once they shut the door of the General's office, the anger-bomb exploded.
"She cannot send you away!" Cosima yelled fed up. "I won't let her! If you're going, I'm coming with you!"
"Cosima," Delphine begged. "Not so loud... Come, let's go back to my.. my old office.."
She could feel Delphine's pain when she said 'my old office' instead of 'my office'. But she couldn't understand why. Did she give up so easily? Why wouldn't Delphine fight for her office? Why wouldn't she talk back or disagree with Duncan? Why had she done everything by herself, trying to save Delphine herself, while her girlfriend stayed silent and just accepted Duncan's decision?
Yet, she gave in, and walked with the blonde to her 'old' office. Delphine shut the door once Cosima got inside and locked it. Then, she turned around and crossed her arms. She suddenly felt like this confersation was going the wrong was. She didn't expect crossed arms and a look of disapproval pointed at her.
"I told you I was going to do the talking.. You even asked me to..." she said softly.
"Oh, so it's my fault now?" Cosima said defendingly, throwing her hands in the air and widing her eyes in disbelieve.
"You didn't said a thing, Delphine! I was the one who tried something."
"You lied," she sighed.
"Yes! Yes, I indeed lied, but you didn't even open your mouth to say something!" Cosima said furiously. Tears started to leak out of the corner of her eyes, even though she tried to blink them away. She looked up to the ceiling and told herself firmly that she should keep herself together.
"You knew she wouldn't believe you, Cosima. General Duncan isn't stupid," Delphine said.
"O-of course I knew she wouldn't believe me!" Cosima said. Without she wanted to, her voice started to shake in the same rithm her underlip and the rest of her body started to. "I'm not a good liar and Duncan's an expert in discovering lies, but I at least hoped that you didn't got sent home. I was ready to take the blame, to be the instigator."
She couldn't stop the tears anymore. They started to roll over her cheeks, leaving warm and wet traces on her skin. One of them ended up in her mouth and she got an even salter taste in her mouth than she already had. Cosima wanted to steady herself, but it was hard. Her vision was blurred because of the tears so she could barely see Delphine.
"I wanted to take the blame because I knew this, the army, your rang, everything, meant a lot more to you than it meant for me... I never wanted.. never wanted this..."
Cosima brought her hand up to her face to wipe off the tears, but while she did that, she started to cry even more and her cheeks became even wetter because of the new tears, even though she just dried them. She sniffed and didn't dare to look up to Delphine. Afraid of what she might be thinking of her. That's why it surprised her to feel the arms of the blonde around her, reassuring her, cuddling her, whispering in her ear to calm her down.
"It meant a lot more to me to know you're happy, Cosima... There's nothing for me here to stay, except you..."
She lost it. Cosima lost everything and she threw herself deeper in her lover's arms, wrapping her arms around Delphine's body and pressing her face into those lovely, blonde curls she loved so much. And she cried. Her body shook, her tears wettening Delphine's uniform.
After a few moments, Delphine placed one hand on Cosima's chin and slowly forced her to look up to her. Cosima tried to steady herself, but couldn't keep her underlip from trembling or to stop the soft sniffes.
"Mon amour, I want you to promise me you'll be okey without me..." said Delphine seriously. Cosima started to cry again, tears rolled down her cheek like she stored a whole ocean in her eyes and that needed to be released right now.
"I-I d-d-don't want you to.. you to l-leave," she whispers.
"Me neither, chèrie... But promise me... Promise me you'll be safe," Delphine said, and for a moment, she sounded as broken as Cosima felt. But she was the bigger of the two. She always was. Even now.
Cosima couldn't promise anything. She didn't want to promise anything. She didn't want to stay here and do stupid lab research. Doing research was what she loved. But what she truely loved, loved even more, was Delphine. She would give up everything come with her to Germany... But Duncan would never allow that.
"I-I promise..." she said. Delphine smiled sadly at her and bowed forewards for a kiss. Her soft lips tasted like her own tears and for once, she cursed herself for crying. She wanted to taste Delphine, not the salty drops that leaked out of her eyes.
She felt Delphine stroking her cheek, down to her neck and her collarbone. It felt so good. Cosima never wanted this moment to end, it was perfect. No, it wasn't. Minus all the pain and the tears it might've been perfect. But at this moment, the only thing she could think of the gaping hole Delphine would leave in her heart when she would leave in a day or two.
Delphine pulled back, but their faces kept close. Their noses and foreheards touched, resting on eachothers, trying to enjoy one of the last touches they might ever share.
"Je t'aime..." Delphine whispers in Cosima's ear. And those little words made Cosima crack up even more than everything else. This meant more to her than Delphine leaving, than their kisses, their more intimate moments, more than everything. Delphine loved her, and nothing else should matter. But what is love if you won't see eachother anymore?
"I love you too," Cosima said, as she pulled in for another kiss.