I had absolutely no idea what I was doing, who I was, what I was feeling, where I was going, and what the point of it all was. Every day I just sulked. My daily routine was wake up, eat, put on pajamas, contemplate whether I should go to school or jump in front of a bus, go to school, come home, take a nap, wake up at 6 P.M., eat, try to do my homework, give up on it, shower, go to sleep, rinse and repeat. My life was stuck inside a dark, puzzling labyrinth, and even though I felt empty inside, I was desperately searching for a way out.
My junior year was one of the toughest years of high school for me. I had two relationships that both ended up with me becoming a helpless turtle lying on its back, struggling to get up. The last relationship I had my junior year made me the happiest. I had the sweetest, most loving boyfriend who treated me like gold. Having him him made me feel important and cared for. I didn't need anyone or anything else in the world. He was my world (or so I thought) and my happiness.
Oh, and here's a plot twist: it was all a lie. Because his parents wouldn't let him have a relationship, he had to break up with me suddenly after two months of secretly dating. Apparently the words, "I'm still yours," or "I'll still love you , Amy," meant nothing coming form him. He had already shown me he had given up on the relationship after I gave him countless reasons and ways we could work it out. To top it all off, the very next day he admitted that he had lost all of his feelings for me. Yes, I realized later that that probably meant he didn't really care. And yes, I also realize that after only two months of dating, you're probably not in love. But I thought I was, and that's what made all the difference.
My sadness was apparent to everyone, even to my parents, who began to worry about me. They advised me to get out of the house and be more social. I was so hurt and depressed , I'd do anything to distract myself from the way I was feeling. Besides, months had passed since the break-up, so it was about time I get over it.
I owe it all to Delana, my old friend who was senior at the time, for taking the time and effort to help me get over it. Bless her. She would come over on Friday evenings and spend the night at my house because it was close to her dance class, which she went to the following morning. Sometimes she would alternate and go to swim meets instead of dance class. On this particular day, she decided to go to swim meet. She planned to come back to come back to my house afterwards and spend the day with me. I wasn't looking forward to it because of my terrible mood, but little did I know what was in store.
Once she came back and settled herself in the comfort of my room, we decided to mess around on my laptop. She wanted to go on YouTube and look up SpongeBob videos. I agreed, then a thought occurred to me...
"Have you ever heard of Slenderman?" I asked.
"No," she replied.
I took the laptop and searched for a Slenderman video made by PewDiePie, the only YouTuber I was aware of at the time. I was determined to scare her. I hoped the horror of a tall, slender, no-faced entity chasing the player of the game while he was innocently looking for pages in the woods at night would scare her good enough. I found a video that looked scary enough, clicked on it, and placed the screen in front of Delana. Her grey eyes showed no expression as she stared at the screen. Nothing but the glare from my laptop shone on her face. Realizing it had no effect on her, I turned the screen towards me and looked for another video to show her. My eyes scanned the screen for something so scary she would scream her head off. Then I found the perfect thumbnail, a picture of SpongeBob looking like he was about to eat my face, brown and shriveled, and very unusual. It was sure-fire nightmare fuel. The title of the video was "Spongebob Slendypants."
"Ready to have nightmares?" I asked deviously, about to click on the video.
"Ok...?" she responded.
I clicked on the video, thinking it would be the next scariest SpongeBob thing since "Squidward's Suicide," but I was wrong. Instead, it looked like a game. On the top left was a man, who began to introduce himself.
"Hello, everybody! My name is Markiplier, and welcome to Let's Play: 'SpongeBob Slendypants!'"
"What?" I muttered.
"Who is this?" Delana inquired.
"I don't know..."
Curiosity took its toll and we decided to keep watching the video. I had never seen this before done by anybody else except PewDiePie, a person recording himself playing a game. And then there was this guy. He looked like a dork to me. He wore glasses and had a small Mohawk. He was alone in his bedroom playing a game about SpongeBob, which didn't even turn out to be that scary, and he was making SpongeBob references throughout the entire video.
Soon Delana fell asleep from the exhaustion of swim practice. I let her sleep and continued to watch the video. Something about this guy intrigued me. He turned out to be pretty funny and cute, in a way I could appreciate. I clicked on another video, which I think was entitled "Imscared." I watched the entire video. Then another video. Then another. And another. By the time Delana woke up and left my house, I had watched four Markiplier videos. After she left, I continued watching. I couldn't get enough of it!
Markiplier was something else. He had videos of himself playing all sorts of games, mostly horror. He had a funny way of showing he was scared, too. He would scream, talk gibberish, and sometimes completely lose his mind over jumpscares and horrific atmospheres. His screams were hilarious and genuine. This man was not afraid to make a fool of himself. That is what I think captured me the most.
Little by little, watching his videos became a bit of a daily habit for me. After school I'd go on YouTube and watch at least Markiplier videos. But they were so entertaining, I'd lose track of time and end up watching him for up to four hours! It was so easy to watch him, and best of all, it made me happy.
Watching his videos made me realize that I could find happiness in the smallest things. He taught me that I can do anything if I put my mind to it and that everyone has a purpose. He is so dedicated to his fans and tells us all the time how we gave him his purpose, that entertaining us is his reason for waking up every morning. I soon figured out that I, too, have a purpose. I feel that mine is to become a filmmaker and entertain people with sketch comedy and music. I also learned to appreciate the little things in life, and most importantly, to just be happy with myself.