All my life, people are insisting that I should be the best among my colleagues. They had planted in my mind that being an average type of kid isn’t enough. I should excel and make them proud. All my steps seem to be well-planned and already made. I was pressured. Gradually, I started to see pressure as an engine to continue my existence. I felt like a robot until my college graduation came.
After the big day, I know it will create a new life for me. I will lie if I never admit that I’m hoping for a job with more than enough salary which will suit my educational attainment like what they allegedly promise inside the universities. As months passed, the truth started to slap me real hard. The perspectives they drew in my mind aren’t absolutely true. It’s not a guarantee that you’ll be more successful when you finished your studies with good grades and awards. In reality, no one is exempted in the crisis of job seeking.
I, too are like them. I was one of millions of hopeful applicants patiently waiting for fortunate calls associated with job applications. I wonder what happened in my sixteen years of diligently burning the midnight oil, studying so hard, while other youths same age of mine were enjoying things in their surroundings. I admit, I was depressed. I am thinking what would it be if I change something from the past, would I be in a brighter place today? Would I be in the same situation?
Honestly, I begin to lose happiness seeing I cannot provide for myself and for my love ones. I know that most of the people around the world, younger or older than I, would agree that they’re in the same vessel as mine but the root of these problem is neither those universities that teach us nor those governments that support us; the real problem is created within ourselves.
After a few months of thinking what’s going on, I realize that the honest question here is not how can I get a well pay job but how can I seek happiness while performing not only the things that I learn from books, which can be outdated, but also the things that I learn from existing in this world. I’m knowledgeable that I can’t change something from the past but I know that I can still change something starting today.
In my college days, I have read a lot of success stories. Those men and women started everything from scratch, yet they have lots of determination and hard work. They have goals to meet for several years; they are happy. Then I realize, I didn’t set my goal. People used to dictate me everything because I’m scared of their judgments. Now, it would be different. I can’t just stand striking somewhere never aiming something so I started fixing myself. I made my own goals. I feel like I am new-born. I became a human. I’m not a mechanical machine anymore.
The moment I’m writing this essay, I’m still waiting for calls in my applications but the feeling is different. I’m not steadily waiting like before. I make waiting a meaningful and joyful experience. Today, I’m a proud volunteer.
I thought happiness comes from gaining lots of material things. The real thing is it’s more satisfying when I get smiles in return of what I did for others. The feeling is precious when I extend a hand and get appreciated by strangers. Their overwhelming statements and sincere expression of gratitude are sufficed to pay my hard work.
If I were to define happiness, I would say I found my favorite definition. My sixteen years of studying weren’t wasted. My college diploma and my grades weren’t in vain. Happiness is what makes life more valuable. I found happiness in using education through helping other youths like me who can’t enter formal schools. Yes, I’m a volunteer teacher. I maybe penniless today but there’s no amount which can pay my source of happiness now.
I can never feel such happiness if I never change my perspective.
-From the perspectives of the 20 year-old me.