He's kind of cute. I admit. But I didn't entertain the thought any further 'cause I thought he was gay. Turned out, he's not. Tsk. Stupid me. I should've known.
I went to their condo room. Just one night, a sleep over. Turned out he's just simply himself. More like me in a sense. Instead of a review over some work related matters, we had that conversation.
A conversation that made me realized more about myself. I came to know his life stories, too. And so I said he's more like me in a sense. We chatted from 11 p.m. to past 2 a.m. about life, about beliefs, principles, his stories, some of mine, too and a couple of work related topics that only lasted almost 10 or 15 minutes, tops.
Then after that one night, we chatted frequently on Messenger. And I had a strange thought that maybe I'm starting to like him, like, like him like. Then, I shivered from the thought 'cause I don't fancy romantic relationships and half wanted to be in any of such. I say half wanted because I'm a bit, or maybe more, conflicted with my own emotions or feelings when it comes to romantic love.
One encounter.
Just that and we became a bit closer.
Friends.
We became friends and we still are.
Then, one day, I made a mistake again, the same mistake I always do. Then, now, I just wanted to throw up and start anew. But I'm sure I won't so I decided to just live with it.
I don't love --- uhm, nope, I mean, I don't want to love, romantically, that is.
Then that memory flashed back, a memory from a friend turned to stranger. I felt anger coursed that time but now, I feel just a bit of thanks from what he did. Yes, "he", 'cause I thought he can be that guy best friend who'd really be there for me always. Turned out, I'm lame with friends, may they be guys or girls, no difference.
Anyway, that is past, and so I refer to my new found friend again.
'Hey'
I read his message.
'Hey, too'
I replied.
'We went to Tokyo last Friday'
Then sent a photo of him along with some of his other friends.
'Hey'
'Hey, too'
'My friends were hired, I'm so happy!'
I feel lost for a while.
'Hey'
The conversation strands were mostly like that, either I send messages first or he does, in random times, which literally surprise me 'cause he isn't really chatty on chats. He's chatty in person, though.
Now, I'm a bit lost again. I'm sharing some of my life's new events but it seems so lame to tell.
But I guess, I'm just really mumbling aloud, if ever that is possible.
Surely, I must stay me. Romantic relationships are not my thing. But I hope others' romantic relationships would last a lifetime.
*Note: This is a work of fiction, in the first person point of view.