Finally, after a long wait, the day had come. I would like to call it "My Day" not only because it was the Happiest Day of my life but that was the day which made me feel like crying aloud. I was in a state not being able to realize if it was real or just a dream.
Yes..!! I am being given away by my parents to him..!! to his family..!! And I no more belong to my tiny world- “a small frame consisting of me, dad, mom and bro” !!.. oh ya.. my “Dance” too. I am made to vacate the world which was all I knew since my birth.
With Camera mens’ clicks flashing my eyes, I started getting a clear picture focused out of blurred images.. I was sitting on my dad’s lap.. a coconut decorated with turmeric and vermilion was on my tiny hand, held tight by my dad's hand, being offered to prajwal, with my mom pouring water from a silver vessel on coconut, with her tears rolling down into it, and it flowed all the way into a silver plate.
We, our community call it "kanya daana", the process of giving your little
Princess away to a prince.
That surely made a difference. In spite of being in 21st century, with all youngsters’ dialogues of not being affected by sentiments of Tradition and blah blah, I could still feel that the traditions really had something to do with our feelings. Somewhere, deep in my heart I could feel the cry of getting separated from my family, from my world, from a virtual kingdom of dreams and fairies, which was once ruled by me.
My thoughts suddenly flew to the previous night. Varapooja was about to start.
For those who don’t know “Varapooja’- “vara” means bride groom. This has something to do with welcoming the bride groom family and offering them great hospitality, followed by a small engagement. Pavitra manni, shobha chitthi, rekha manni, prabhamma and most importantly amma helped me with the saree and make-up stuffs.
Thank you.. Thanks a lot.
I was in the green room waiting for him. His huge family arrived. Our ultra-huge family welcomed them all with flower garlands and welcome drinks (Tender coconut water and mango juice: I had a sip of both drinks from my cousin samskruthi’s glass. That sweetie pie had brought it to green room to share with me :-* :-* ). Though I had already become close to him, I had that heart thumping feeling as if I was meeting a stranger whom I never met….my eyes were busy looking in that narrow opening of green room door, checking his arrival. Atlast, out of huge crowd, I could point him out. He was completely dressed in ethnic.. off white silk dhothi and white collar full arm silk shirt with a cherry-red modi suit on it, which added more beauty to his natural appearance. He saw the stage but could not find me and moved to dining hall with his family.
Later, when the rituals and pooja started, I was called on stage and I remember.. he was staring at me, but I dint even look at him directly, but could sense his look and actions.
The main program started, and all those mini traditional dolls and colorful toys placed all over the stage made the program more attractive to people. Subsequently, I was offered new saree and jewels to change. After my costume change, I looked more beautiful :P Ha Ha.. !! After all that was an aqua blue kanchi pattu saree (special silk saree from Tamilnadu) with large border. After pooja, we had a photoshoot, where all our cousins gave all kind of back ground chorus music for this special program to make me shyer. However, that did not affect HIM even a bit. That’s because he was busy instructing camera man and posing with me.
Now my thoughts were back to present.. Mixed feelings can make you spend each second so long, that when you look at your clock after a long lengthy thought and you find your so called dynamic and fast “Mr. Minute hand” being moved to just next dot.
Few minutes ago, My mom’s only brother, keshu maama carried me on his shoulders from green room to mantapa, as if I was a baby and there came my brother Vastav splashing a heartful smile at me, though sweat was continuously flowing away over his face like a waterfall (FYI, It was winter, Imagine his condition if it was summer). When the curtain between us (groom and bride) was dropped, I and prajwal successfully placed jeerige-bella (jeerige: cumin and bella: jiggery) on each other’s head and were ready to fight to exchange Garlands so as to see who would make it first; I could clearly notice his elder brother Ujwal, tall and well-built, holding him higher, with a spirit to win his brother. My cousins and uncles were really struggling through delivery of the project namely– “Holding me Higher than prajwal” so that I can put away the Garland into his Neck first. But as expected, hero did it first, but ended up putting Garland hanging through my waist. “Well, That doesn’t matter, it’s the matter of who put it first !!.. I win!!” was his childlike answer for this wrongly accomplished mission.
I was extremely happy enjoying the colored rice being poured by him on my head and I did it too. I can name the sequence in which it was arranged, first came the plain rice followed by yellow, green, Red, Purple, Orange. Rekha manni (sister-in-law) did an awesome job of giving away the colored rice to us one after the other. And he now grabbed handful of colored rice spread over the floor into his palm and announced that he is gonna now put mixed color rice on my head.. he was creative :P !!
But now, I was sitting all stunned like a statue, trying to analyze what was happening to me. Soon, the yellow thread with mangala suthra was tied to my neck, with three knots. He was holding my neck tight for which I squinched my face. Before I could come out of my thoughts, everyone around started wishing us “Happy Married Life”. Sorry.. even before others did, HE gave a firm handshake, wishing me :O
Yes !! I am married now.. and No more single !!
How can I forget him holding my Hand first to wish me “congrats” !!.. He was still a kid , cute and naughty.. very funny too. Photographer took a snap of it.
Then I could see the chaos all around, with huge crowd in front of our stage watching us both !! That made me nervous.. I was little low but I could see him being very happy, he held his demeanor like a winner.
Yep!! He won me !! And so do I ..
I was sitting beside my HUSBAND watching the “homa kunda” (fire ritual), waiting to get clarity on my thoughts. When I was all confused and lost, he slowly came near my ears and softly whispered “Kandamma..You are my wife now.. I will take care of you like a baby.. I will protect you.. All you have to do is be with me holding my hand and just follow my advice.. Never leave me”.
Though I had heard the similar kind of dialogue before, this was really new and different at that moment. It gave a warm feeling to my heart.. In a second, I could get a strength of having ate tons of glucose.. And like having 1000 military guards surrounded to secure me.. I felt like a princess, I could watch him holding my hand with love and care. He gently put his arm around my shoulder and slowly dragged me near for a snap.. I could see an unusual matured expression and responsibility in his innocent eyes, which is always childlike and mischievous. His eyes made enough magic for me to get rid of my confusion.
My only friend right from my age of 7 & half years and who came out of my mom’s womb, my brother, Chuchi (Sushruth) was also offered to do some pooja with us, for being my sibling. In his new ethnic shervani, he sat beside me and promptly did everything told by the priest. His aim was to do everything properly and take no scoldings from anyone or not even criticism. I made them all cry !! My doddamma, chitthi, maami, atthes’ and my sweetest paati…appa and amma too.. they all cried out of Happiness.. the mixed feeling again.. for giving away their beloved little daughter to a new family. Everyone blessed us. Doddappas , chikkapas, thaatas and paatis.
But However, I kept myself very happy and never let my eyes shed even a drop of tear because I dint wanted to cry. Tear almost nearing the tip of my eyes evaporated as soon as I switched my concentration onto something else.
After the Mini Reception, We were taken out for “Arundhati Nakshatra” and “oonjal” ceremonies. Nobody could see any star in the sky, but prajwal held my hand pointing at a crow thinking that it would be a good pose for click. In the cycle gap, my mom fixed “goda kondai” a side hair bun on my head. Then we sat on the oonjal- the cradle, everyone rocked it and we could get few beautiful snaps here too.
I ran away to green room to change my saree.. yes !! I was all set to wear “kacche padave”(typical iyengar style saree). It was off-white kanchi saree with reddish maroon border. My amma and mangala maami helped me drape it. Now I came back on stage to resume the rituals again.
Others were starving;I wasn’t hungry at all, however I strongly felt I would faint if I continue doing anything. Finally, we all together had lunch, I and prajwal being served food in a single big Banana leaf. Don’t ask me what we ate, I really don’t remember. I could now see all married couples of both families getting into memories of their marriage and trying to feed each other for photo clicks !! few were bold, few were shy, few were tired and few were exited.
After all this, Prajwal asked me “I expected you to cry !! why dint you?” I replied “ No !! why should I ??”..
I cried inside but I dint wanted to show my tears to the world, which would make me feel I am weak.
Now comes the part where you have to prove yourself to be a girl who brings prosperity and fame to your new family. In “gruha pravesham”, a cylindrical aluminum jar filled with rice and jaggery will be placed at the room entrance and the bride has to kick it in such a way that the rice spreads all over the room. People believe that larger the area rice spills over, greater the prosperity gifted to home. I could successfully do it with an extra bonus of breaking the photographer’s nail with that jar. I deliberately didn’t and the jar hit his leg only after it had hit the leg of the cot. He was lucky !!
Now one of my cousin teased me “Samhitha !! You are no more with your parents !! You don’t belong to your old family anymore.. you are Married..”
I was in silence for seconds and now my heart spoke though none could listen to it.. “ I now belong to two families.. I have two mothers, two fathers and more siblings and many more cousins and large number of members to protect me..” what a strong good feel !!
Besides all, I have a Heart which is beating only for me.. I would love to be a part of that heart till my heart beat stops…
I could now feel prajwal holding my hand and smiling at me.. I finally came out of all my blurred thoughts and could see a clear picture of only HIM. I smiled back and walked away with his arm around my shoulder..And here after, everyday is "My Day" in my life .....