Crush .. simple word that crushes our heart a lot ! yeah this is my life experience …my sweet memories as a short story hope u all like it.. here goes !!!
As you all know the typical life of any engineer ,my life was also the same stereotype. Four years ! 8 semester ! an awesome college life with many sweet memories ! Awful fights and a crush ..who crushes down my heart !!
My first semester of college was not that good enough to hold on memories, but we all become gradually friends and there was lot of stuffs to know in the beginning of college and don’t have much contact with outside of the class. In fact feared of my seniors. . by the starting of second semester we all tied up under the bond of friendship. I would say I’m blessed with a gang of friends who knows me well and get along with me ! and still we all are good friends even our life style changes . Life is always good when we have a friendship. Okies!!!! put these things aside, back to the track ………..
It was a rainy afternoon ,if am not wrong it was the month of December I saw him. Ever one was running here and there and I was standing under some shelter and he was simply walking and enjoying the rain. He was looking handsome for me ! oh my god.. that feel ..still am getting butterflies in my tummy ! he was tall and masculine ..i can literally feel my heart bouncing at a high rate .. my friend was standing beside me and I asked her whether she knows him or not ? to my surprise she had his entire history !! he’s from EEE department and name is Siddarth and he’s our senior, very tough guy but has a good helping nature ..cricket player and where he comes from everything she said and added a note to me that many girls are behind him and even she likes him a lot! My thousand watts smile got fused !
As the days pass by I wanted to see him every single day, I can’t resist my self and eventually all of my friends came to know that I fell head over heal for him. But what this poor girl can do ? he don’t even know my presence in that college .. a kind of sad situation buildups .. I spend whole days and nights thinking of him and dreaming that I will talk to him one day ! I love his bike a lot more than him.. am generally fond of bikes , at that time Apache bikes were very famous and he had one apache rtr 180 of Grey color even i still remember his bike no ;)
a bike that adds him a more manliness and the way he drives ..wahhh !! he really stole my heart ! and he had an unique horn sound that makes more alert when I hear this sound on roads or when am in class . when I ever am in class if people hears this sound at a time all will pass a wired look with a smirking smile ! I used to spend my leisure hours or my free time around his class, but what he have never seen me .. my friend subu and aishu and kirthi will be with me always . I have got many scolding from them often for behaving in this manner . yet I say I like him a lot !
This is how I passed my second semester . when I started with the second year with in a few weeks I saw my best friend krish talking to him . on seeing that I was on the cloud nine ! I rushed to him in the evening and asked him how do he knows sid ? he said they are good friends from last semester . I told krish that I like him a lot and wanted to talk to him. So he said he will ask sid and then tell me. But don’t have any patience I grabbed krish’s mobile and searched for his number I couldn't find, then he gave me a deal . he will tell the number only once,if I really have a huge crush for sid I should catch the number, and I did the same ! after getting it we went to the lab session since we don’t have any work for that day I wanted to ping him and my friends was with me . it was very nervous for me like a bomb diffuser trying to cut off the correct wire :P
Here goes our funny chat !
Me : Hi sid ! how are you ?
Sid:who’s this?
Me: I know you well :)
Sid: tell me who r u?
Me : sid am you big fan !(after a small discussion with supi,aish and kiki)
Sid : evan da avan kalaikirathu?
Me : no no ,am telling truth am your big fan !
Sid: don’t play with me!
Me:am serious dude
Sid : oky ! what is your name ?
Me : I won’t tell but am a girl ! believe me !(supi’s idea :P)
Sid : stop it ! tell me ur name !
Me : Abirami
Sid : oh ! wch year ? and dept ?
Me : 2nd year CSE (kiki said don’t tell yar ,yet I said )
Sid :oh !wat u want !
Me : nothing I jus wanted to talk to you..avalo than..
Sid : athan peseta la. . go carry on your work.
Me : sorry ,I didn’t mean to disturb you ! sorry ..
Sid …… no reply ……..
I was to worried ..haste makes waste, I should have kept quiet for some time and now I have spoiled every thing . my first impression has gone down. I don’t even have guts to look at my mobile. Yet my heart wants me to ping him and I did !!
Time :10.30 p.m
Me : Good night ..sweet dreams
Sid : good night ..sorry I was busy with friends
Me: ha tats k ! sleep well
Sid: how you know me?
Me : via krish,my class mate ..
Sid: oh.. u belong to his class?
Me: if u don belive me u can verify…
--- noo beep ------I was about to sleep.. it was almost ..12.30 and I ws struggling to sleep since my heart was heavy… suddenly a beep ..beep
Sid : hey u thr ?
Me :yeah ! u din sleep yet?
Sid : did’nt yu ?
Me : nope was not getting sleep ..feeling heavy .. sorry for bothering you L you carry n..i won’t disturb you here after …bye tc
Sid: hey hey cool… nan ethum thappa eduthukala…
Me : nejamava?do u believe me ?
Sid : yeah ! k am sleepy bi..
I was dancing in my heart .. wow god has listened my prayer it seems.. finally I was talking with my crush !
[TO BE CONTINUED ]
P.S : to my frnds some of the incidents are imaginary and characters too .. its just a story that reflect a small incident of my life and not a exact one !!
PART II
I slept with loads of dreams that night... waiting for next day morning ...i woke up soon and got ready to college..holding too many feelings in my little heart.. thoughts of him all the way to college..finally reached college...my eyes searched for him every where..literally i roam half a day to see him.. i was feeling down and tired inside my heart that i couldn't see him that day. and it was a bad day that i don't even hav my mobile with me..with a little disappointment i returned home.. :(
evening 6:00 p.m..
me: hi..
sid: hi
me: did yu came to college tdy?
sid:yeah ! y ??
me :simply asked! i didn't see u..tats y..
sid: oh..fine
sid:oaky i ve wrks c u ltr..bye
me :okay..bye :)
then i went on with that days activity... indeed engineering is tough !! yucky code...algorithms...and these data structure,,, oh god.. i was literally breaking my head with those stuffs..even forgot my mobile buddy... when i picked it ..it had some 5 or 6 msg frm my frnds.. all some silly forwards.. ufff ..finally it's time to hit my bed ..
night 11.00 p.m
me :good night...
sid: hey sorry ..was busy
me : it's k ..am sleepy..sleep well bye.. :)
sid : okies.. tc .
the next day i was not feeling well so i didn't go to the college..and was sleeping all the day.. and one more day passed with out seeing him.
night 9.00 p.m
sid : hey hi...one small help ?
me: yeah ..tell me..
sid : hey sorry wrongly sent..!!
me:oh fine..sid:then watsup?
me :nothing much..not feeling well...
sid:oh.. take care.. :)
me:yup..tq :)
After two days of leave and a weekend break..totally after four days of rest i went to college... the funny part of classes is when am on class no one will take lessons properly ..i dont know why? when am on leave my dear staff members takes class in a serious mode, i had more things to be completed and was writing writing all the day. ... such a hectic day !!myself and supi was sitting under the shade of a tree in a bench and i was scribbling the notes and we had a small chitchat..she asked me does sid talked with me? i was telling all of my conversation and suddenly i saw him in some distance ... wwahhhhhhhh.. again butterflies and sweet melody of violin..la la la.... everything around me !!!oops..i forgot to say a thing i have seen him but he haven't and he don't know am the one who's talking !!! i just wanted the "secret to be a secret ". Perhaps he didn't raise any query to meet up . On that day he was wearing a white shirt and a blue jean which was my favorite combo ever ! all guys looks great in this apparel ..and he was looking great in that ..i was dreaming of a day walking with him all the way on a nice breezy evening ..supi alerted it's time for class so we went .
On the way i dropped a message ..
me: heyyy... u look good today :)
sid: hey u saw me now?
me: yup! tats y am telling :)
sid: hey wer r u ??
me :am on the way to class..
.---no reply---
It was digital systems class..oh god just simple 1's and 0's making it a hell out of my life. I was constantly looking at my mobile which i kept under the desk..no sign of message.....i was still waiting for a beep from him no response. My everyday routine was going fine but his memories just added upon me.. he started to take a big part over my memories and my dream of life. I don't know what i like in him but i like every thing. He's not like a model or a handsome hunk but something i like in him a load.. my friends used to say he looks like a rugged guy..but many girls have a crush or a bit of liking for him but i have loads.
night 9.30 p.m:
sid: hi thr?
me:yup..am here !
sid: u said u saw me today ! wer ?
me: near ur dept !
sid: oh ! wen?
me:hey every single day am seeing u !!!
sid: oh ! btw i don't kno u na?
me : ha ! true tat ! let suspense be a suspense .. okay am sleepy bye.
.sid : hey wait..it's just 10:00 ..so soon sleeping?
me:yeah ..it was hectic day ..feeling tired..
sid: wer are u? @home? or hostel?
me: home !!
sid: oops k!me :why?
sid: thought of making a call!
me: ha fine ! if u r free call me.. :)
sid: u said sleepy ?
me: tats fine ...i can talk..no issues..
----First time calling---
hello ...the moment i hear his voice my sleep fly away .. i was just holding the phone and blinking.. then i said hello...
our first phone conversation:
me: sollunga ..how r u?
sid: nallairuken..nee?
me: fine..thanks for calling..and iniku u wer looking cool.. !
sid: comedy panatha.. actually msg balance illa thats y i called.. seri nee en enaku message panra ? how u kno me?
me: hmm... en en kuda lam pesamateengala? ungala pidikum pesuren.. is it wrong?
sid: oru ponnu ipdi number la vangi en ta pesurathu..first time !
!me: ha ha..nekum first time than!! experience la illa...
sid: nee bhramin uh?
me: hayoo illa illa.... from my childhood am in kumbakoanam so.. intha slang konjam irukum..
sid:ohh... fine.. then tell about u.
me: heyyyyy mom's comming biii-
----i abruptly cut the call-----
[TO BE CONTINUED- PART III -FIRST MEET ! ]
PART III-FIRST MEET
I was on cloud nine on hearing his voice , really an awesome way to end a day with his voice. I need every single day to start and end with him. From dawn to dusk it's him for me !
The next day i was exited and all the way to college i was telling our first call to supi, she started teasing me that am getting mad and am falling in love with him. But i denied that i like him a lot not love !! She said my dear ! ppl who says like this fall in love easily ..we both were laughing and i was humming "munbae vaa en anbae vaa " song and walking to my class, Got a surprise i saw him on the way... this time he too saw me !! eye to eye ,my heart raised and i was in the blue moon .
I was just thinking that omg! he came to know that it's me? but krish didn't tell anything like he asked about me to him. Seems he didn't care much about who am i ? yeah true .... who am i to him? just a college mate that too not from his department nor from his class . Am no one to him.
I don't have heart to drop any message to him.
We were sitting in microprocessor lab and seriously it's difficult to handle those codes and those chips ,i wanted to check my mobile once so, i had a glace at it ,my bad day even sir had a glance at me !! Every thing went upside down he ceased my mobile. I was confident that he will give it back when we leave the lab and i kept on talking to my friends. To break my wish he didn't give the mobile and that stupid man read all the messages in my mobile , that moment i understood why ppl protect the mobile with password :( but why a password for a 1100 mobile? so sad :( he asked me to meet him in person :(
I went to his cabin and asked for mobile,he shoot a question ,so you are here to message and not to study? what is the purpose of coming to college? this what u do in class? Tell me who is Sid? is he from our college? Do u r parents know that u are talking to guys?
I must have kept quiet, i told sir.. is talking to guys a sin? yes my parents know he's my cousin !
He didn't give the mobile ,at last i have no other way ... so i thought for a second and it's time form bhramasthra yeah !! most power full girl's weapon " i started crying " :P he gave me the mobile and asked me to study properly.
To my surprise i had a couple of message from him !
(sent by morning 11:13 a.m)
Sid : hey thr?
Sid: will u be free in the noon?
(by noon 2.30 p.m)
Me: hii..
Me: sorry .. lil problem..
Me :thr??
Sid: yup ! wat happen?
Me : sir ceased my mobile !!
Me : even he read our conversation and asked me who's sid?
Sid: oh shit !! wat u said? any problem?
Me: i didn't say ..i said my cousin,studying in SRM .
Sid: thank god! pls be carefull . once if u caught they will spy on u more!!
Me: haa.. expericence oooo?
Sid : neriya !!
Me:are u free now?
Sid: will be free by 3.00
Me:oh.. y asked will i be free?
Sid: just for a cup of coffee ..
Me: today?
Sid: y not today? en makeup podalaya?
Me: chaaa..not like that!
Sid: then come to cafeteria by 3.30 or so...
Me: with frnds?
Sid: haa..not this time!!
Me:okies....and how u identify me?
Sid: u kno me ryt then wat ?
Me: Tk.. c u ther !!
------Wating for 3.30-------------
What he asked is true !! no makeup day.. all my kajal,eyeliner went off with my tears and with that scorching sun i was looking tired. I rushed up and freshen up my self and went to cafeteria.That day i was wearing a purple salwar and still i have that :)
ON CAFETERIA !
This is the day for which am longing for the past one month !! i went there and waited for few seconds and he came ... was looking soooooo cool and charming . I was the only girl there at that time and some guys were there...i just waved my hand and he came to the table where i seated.
Here goes FIRST MEET conversation :
Sid: So you are the one !! hmm i have never seen you before in this college ?!
(My mind voice: poi poi ada paavi nee enga irunthalum nanum irunthen ae da ellam en neram )
Me:Yeah it's me? what would you like to have? coffee? or tea?
Sid: what u like to have?
Me:Always tea !
Sid :okay..let's have tea .
--he went and got two cups of tea---
Me: thank you :)
Sid: It's oaky ..Don't worry .. i told anna that u will pay ...
Me: Ada paavi.. too much yar !
Sid: ada jus kidding...so now i believe it's really a girl.
Me: insane ! u talked with me yesterday na?
Sid: even my frnds talk like girls and prank !! thats y i wanted to meet u.. and sorry ..
Me:ha thats fine !!
----- i was literally staring at him----
Me: then? hw s life?
Sid: yup good n happy.. so wer r u frm ?
Me:Coimbatore
Sid: oh nice place....so u enjoy going ooty often
Me:ha ha.. yeah ofcourse.. even u can go to beach often ,which we can't afford :(
Sid: how you know? am from Chennai?
Me:i know !! your home is in adayar ..then ur bike number and many things ...
Sid:heyyyyy it's insane !! how did u know?? and why you want to know?
Me: because I LIKE U....
Me: oaky am leaving... i need to catch the bus.... biii
Ping me in the night...bye...
Sid: heyyy wat ,....u like me?? hey wait...
----i bid bye and i was about to leave----
as i mentioned some guys sitting in the cafeteria .. three of them sitting aisle .just shouted oooooo...hey machan ??? loves uh ??hmmmmmm.......enjoy karo !!!
Oh theri !!! they are his friends .. and over heard our conversation.I got blushing and i ran from that place....i thought i should have got my friends to there :(
[TO BE CONTINUED-PART IV-HAPPY DAYS]
PART IV HAPPY DAYS
It was the "DAY " which i was longing for many days and here am sitting with one whom i like the most and i had enough strength to tell him that i like him a lot ! Where does this in built strength came from ? Seriously no guess ! may be my heart felt this will be the last day on the earth before a disaster i should yell out this world that like him a loads . With blushing face i returned home ,all the way i was smiling like a mad one and supi was talking to me and smile was my only response. Finally i reached my home and refreshed and sat up study . I just wanted to brace my self for the internals :( so sad part of any student life is facing exams, even i study well i don't like exams .marks and all these stuffs ....that too engineering made my life like a hell.
With an aversion look at a book i took it and started to turn pages as fast as i can! on seeing this my dad said "Dear be careful the book cost 650 rs" pls am paavam. My dad was my hero he made my life so beautiful ,but sharing that here is doesn't suit so in some other time let me talk about my lovable daddy.
Coming back to the track, i have no guts to ping him after telling that i like him. So i was waiting for him to send a message. But there was no sign of a beep. After a minute i got a beep , i was exited and opened that stupid airtel sent some messages :( . I got a thought that why don't he think in the same way i thinks? so i was about to send a message and my mobile beeped ! It's him !
Our Conversation :
Sid: hey busy? why no messages?
Me: thought you will be busy!
Sid: nope..i thought you will be busy!
Me: no no..studying for CIA, day aftertmw exam na :(
Sid: yeah !! yeah !! so studying nw itself? Padips :P
(the first time he used smily in message )
Me:ha ha...no no ..i heard u are a padips :P
Sid: isn't it sounds funny for u?
Me: you were looking good today !
Sid: Serious comedy !! even u too ..
Me: arey yar ,,,yu just blasted a comedy !
Sid: okay no offence !! thanks for ur compliment !
Me: hmmm..then..
Sid: u have to say ..
Me:don't have anything to say?
Sid: hey u said u like me ...and i asked y?
Me: i like u ..thats it ...no more explanations!!
Sid: like or love?
Me: don't know how to separate it and see.. pls don't ask such quesn :(
Sid: oaky relax !
----- then we had some bore conversation---
night 11.00 p.m:
sid: Good night..
Me: good night... sd..
Sid: still awake ?
Me:yeah !
--- he called me we had a little talk and i slept half the way didn't even cut the call i slept------
the next day we didn't talk ,both of us busy with the internals.The internals has started ,in our college usually seniors and juniors will be shuffled and all the departments will be shuffled during internals . I went inside the hall and was putting margin to my papers, always they allot two people per desk and the place next to me was empty. After the question papers were given i was looking a glance at it , seems like greak and latin :( always maths was that tough to me :(
suddenly i heard a voice, Excuse me sir..it was him, asking permission to enter. I
turned around the hall and only place near to me was empty !! Wow what an co incidence !!!
But what happend you know? i was staring at him all the 2 hrs and didn't write much on my paper ,and he kept on writing..calculating..drawing .Once in a while he looked at me and showed signal to me to write but i didn't...his handwriting was too good...far better than mine such a neat answer script. For afternoon session also the same thing happened. Fortunately or unfortunately he was not in my hall for the next two days.
During exams no calls and no msg from him. once the exam was over we again got back to our routine message and calls.
Saturday evening 6.00 p.m
Sid: heyy hiii...
Me:hiiii..hw r u... missd u a lot :(
Sid: don joke ..hw was ur exams?
Me:first two i didn't write :P
Sid: i know !
Sid: Pls don't do like this..i know u study well ,coz of me don get distracted.
Me: i didn't mean to do this,but when u are with me ...i forgot myself !
Sid: don be silly ! am no one to u.. am jus ur "FRIEND"
Me:"FRIENDS" ???? am ur frnd :) thank u for accepting me as ur frnd :) i like u a loads :)
Sid: just friends ...:)
Me: i don't mess up with our relationship " we r frndz" :) )))))
Sid: one mre thing !
Me: yup tell ! any terms & condition?
Sid: hmmm...don't tell ur frnds that we are in contact !
Me: y not y mean?
Sid: pls...!!
Me:ok..
Sid: shall i call?
Me: okay.. call me no one s at home ..:)
----he called and we talked till night 10.00----then he went for dinner..by that time i slept .
Morning i found a message saying" your voice is addictive !! seems i too like u " but as a friend ..always a friend !! :). It was a bliss to see this !
[TO BE CONTINUED - PART V]
PART V- STORM OF LIFE
On that internals i got 10 marks in maths and 16 marks in digital system :P first time am getting like this.... fortunately the next two internals the seating arrangement was changed i always have a sentiment that if i see him before the exam i will get an easy paper (how foolish am i ..if think nw am getting laugh ) , any how i finished my third sem !! Love this sem coz it has loads of memories of him !!
His words are in air..
his memories are in my heart ..
Fourth semester started !Always life will not be good ,many ups and downs will be there. Perhaps that good too. But i don't want any such things to happen me and him :( He said, don't tell anyone,,,but i can't keep quiet . During my school days ,people used to tease me by calling "all india radio" ... i cant keep any secret:(
I told my class friends about this, am talking to him every single day and it's hard for me to imagine a day with out him! Every single day some how i manages to see him in the college but he won't show that he talks to me. If his friends are with him they try to make fun but he just stop with a smile.
One day he didn't come to college,and i was too sad so i updated my facebook status as " am feeling sad" wana c u ..!! I had many friends in the college including many seniors, one of them asked me why ? and he was my best friend too, i told him ..why?! . I swear i didn't expect the consequence and the chaos of this !! That night he called me !
Our conversation:
sid: hello.. (angry mode)
Me: hey..y didn't u come to college?
Sid: tats none of ur business!
Me:hey wat i did? y u are angry?
Sid:innum nee enna panala? u kno wat u did! u r not a kid..
Me: enna...wat u r saying?
Sid: i told u not to tell any one..but what u have did? huh? if u are doing like this they will spoil ur character, thats y i told u not to say out.. every thing has a time to tell. i serious fed up ...y do u act insane?
Me: (first time am getting tears emotionally )sorry... i really dont mean to do this, i just tell my best friends... ssorry...plssss don get angry..
Sid: keep ur sorry with u.. u know how they will create stories ! my fate ...Don't talk to me am getting irritated, pls get lost... i trusted u a lot !! it's not a problem for me, as a girl u ll have lot to face, pls change urself. don belive all...
Me: shouln't i belive u ?
Sid: do u kno? i like u a lot. i don't want any harm to be happen to u !!pls
Sid: jus put down the phone n leave.. don dare to call me again !!!
---he cuts the call and didn't pick it up when i tried many times-------
It's all because of that senior i thought! perhaps i don't know what happened still now.. :(
No response from him ,life was like a hell... even if i see him some were he walk away with out passing a look up on me ! The next month was his birthday ! i wished him .. tried calling him , yet no response... Seriously i missed him a lot.. many things remained him a lot. I was not talking to any one properly, at home.. college .. where ever only solitude was my company.... i was feeling like a last person living on the earth...days passed by.... fouth semester got over....
I decided ,"let me live my life " back on track i rejuvenated my self and all set for Fifth semester. "I Me myself" was my motto, but still he was living in my heart ...my crush for him turned to love ! but am the one who knows about my love ...let it be ...It's pre final year and i wanted to enjoy it to the core !! God has blessed me with a huge bunch of friends !For him it's the final year ... placements..projects etc . He looked so tensed. After that there was no calls or message between us. Each time when a company comes i pray for him to get selected . In the mean time, i got to see him with a junior girl ..( literally for first time i got jealous of a girl) my friends told me that ,he was in love with that girl, i never bothered,but still it was hurting inside,yet something that drags me to him. Finally he got placed in TCS... and after that TCS become my dream company. On seeing his name on the notice board.. i was so happy ...and sent him a message to congratulate him !
Message after 6 months:
Me: hi congos ... am glad that u have got placed with TCS :) All the best for ur career. !
Sid : thank u :)
----thats all--- no message no calls....!!
[ TO BE CONTINUED- PART VI]
PART VI-A YEAR WITHOUT HIM
After that message ,we both didn't have any contact. Once or twice i was about to see him with the girl he loves , my friends used to tell me don't act foolish like you still like him a lot. But many times i think i should stop acting insane ,yet some thing inside depth of my heart he still lives, his memories...the messages..the midnight calls. One part of my heart says he'e not yours,stay away from him.Thus the days passed by ....
Final semester for him,it's so rare to see him coz of the project days. My life was good with all my friends..playing..kidding..lots of fun stuffs and little studies . One day my classmate told me ,sid and that girl had some breakup. I didn't believe her,she's a gossip specialist !! I was thinking his love for the girl was so true. Yeah i know about him, if he got involved with something he will do it with all dedication ,when ever i see him with that girl i can sense the love for her from his eyes ! But now pinky told me this and i got shocked. No one can console a person who had a problem of heart break ,and i don't have any strength to talk to him. Eventually his final year got over.
A year am going to spend in that college with out him. His facebook account was my only place where i can see his updates !Iwas missing him during the exams badly,every single day with out seeing him was an heavy task ,how ever i had my friends around, and i was wearing a smile on my face all the day long.But i inside of my heart was longing for my Sid ,"Dear Sid..I miss u a lot ".. Now it's my time to brace up for placements lots of companies..offers !! Basically quantz was my major problem than verbal ,i had a confidence that once i clear apti round,i can do well in others. Actually i was awaiting for a company that don't have any apti round :( and i was egarly waiting and preparing my self for TCS :) yeah my Dream company ! where my dream are awaiting ! just for me he's my dream not for him ! That's okay ! loving is good when we get it back ! it's too good and even permanent when it's from one side :)
I have attended many interviews,some of my friends got placed and i was waiting ! My interview with TCS was good,nice experience almost an hour of interview ,that gave me a confidence that i will get placed ! to my expectation i got placed ! Now my next worry is to get chennai branch. On the day of result,after the announcement of my name i called my amma and appa to share the good news and then i immediately called him, without any hope of picking up i just dialed. To my surprise he lifted the call,seems he was in some travel. I told him the result and he wished me !! sooo exited ! me and akshu was with giggles while returning home !
My final semester with college,going to miss this palce forever .Place where i came to know who friends are ,all those funny moments, my little disappointments, lots of share and care ,many new experiences of life !! How many things these four years taught me. .i was in a grief of missing my college .Final year of every engineer's life will be filled by project ! Even mine was the same,so we came to chennai for the project preparation. We landed up with an real time implementation,so me and akshu has a lot to face !! The 2013's newyear was at chennai for me !! Dec 31,2012 the new year's eve was such a great day for me ! So u guys think of any party ?? I swear it's not about any party ! it's him .. he gave a great kick start of my "New Year"
[TO BE CONTINUED-PART VII -A NEW YEAR ]
PART VII - A NEW YEAR
It was Dec 31,2012 the new year's eve,as every one I was busy in texting and calling all my buddies wishing them a happy new year . First new year am away from home and I was little upset that I miss my family,ammu,appa and chotu. The color full rangolis at home, Cakes we bake all those fun I was missing. In the middle of wishing every one , I wanted to wish him also. I made a call,no answer from other end so I kept quiet after a single attempt . The hostel was full of fun, putting rangoli and singing songs. Akshu went to her aunt’s home and I was alone at room. Those people in hostel was talking to me well. Generally I use to adapt situation well, so I got involved in all fun. After some time ,almost half an hour to 12.00,I took my mobile to check for updates .Surprised a call from him. So I made a call back, I was thinking he may talk for a minute or so else he may deny even.
He picked up the call, I greeted him. Almost after some months am hearing his voice,he wished me a prosperous new year and we were talking about the company,kind of job and the training he had everything. He shared me many things that happened in office for him, and guided me as a senior, the do’s and don’t and told me any stuffs I need to do before stepping into a company. This time my only answer was hmmm, ohh..okay okay… fine !! . Before these one liners will be his reply while I was speaking like an oratorical competition. The clock struck 12.00, huge noise were around both of us. But we didn’t bother all those and continued our talk. I was telling about my project and my days at Chennai, and added that I miss him a lot in college ,
he laughed and said “ u r still the same “
i asked .. why should I change?
Then our conversation extended, we started talking about our family, he was telling about his brother’s marriage and I was telling few updates of my family . on this at a certain point we both came to know we are from same caste !! omg ! I was with glitters on my tooth, but what he’s another girl’s boyfriend na ? I closed my mouth and started speaking normally. I don’t want to ask him about that girl, somehow we got to talk about his love, his voice become soft and feeble ,I don’t want him to get into some old memories,
A part of Our conversation:
Sid:” I like you a lot, but I don’t know I can be with you like I was with her “ she took my heart I away.
Me: even u took my heart away,” oru oru manushanukum oru oruvoru feelings “
Sid: ( laughed, )” nama love panravangla vida namala love panravanga kooda irutha life will be good “,
I laughed, and our conversation continued,
Sid: why you chose TCS? Don’t tell lie that you don’t get any other company?
Me :it’s true, I got only here and not only that, because you are there I wanted to be there ! I want to be with you, and I will be with you .
Sid: hmmm.. it’s cool when you say this ..
Me: ahaa…. Too much !!
Then we had a long conversation ,that included why our homes don’t support for love etc, almost we covered many topics under the earth ! In between his balance got over ,and mine was about to go, Guess what’s the time ? it was 4.30 a.m ! I cant believe my self !
That year I started with such a great happiness, and that don’t last even for weeks,again there was some flaws in communication. He was busy with office stuffs and eventually I was struggling with my project. After that sometimes I get some lame reasons like formalities before getting into TCS, and some other things.
[TO BE CONTINUED- PART VIII- AT TCS ]
PART IX - OFFICE DAYS
On the month of june, I joined TCS , “ yipeee am an Techy “ I was so happy and super exited about the big day of my life. I was standing in front of an IT Giant of India , My dream TCS ,my Dad and mom was with me ! I got their blessings, first time am seeing my Dad very proud of me and he was telling “am so proud of you “, even if he feels he won’t show it ! I was too happy for two reasons, both are about my dreams !
You know what ? from my childhood I had a dream and a aim , three aims !
1. A job with 5 digit salary
2. A luxury car
3. A apartment on 7th floor and one more secret dream, is him ! so got my first dream come true, then I want my secret dream to be true !
The first day, good experience , a new place..new friends..wow, a corporate life .That night I called him and shared my first day’s experience . He gave me any tips to survive there and altered me about the rewards and awards for the best performer. When he said, then only I got to know those awards are important, maybe that’s the reason I got kudos… , (he he… too much na ? :P). in this happiness ,one sad thing is few days before my joining date to that branch,he has been shifted to other TCs branch ! oh god, when this chase will over ? so my next attempt is to get a project there,,, am so paavam :-(
Three months of training and then and there phone calls and text’s between us. Indeed Corporate life was good all these three months. How many new friends, team outings …lot’s of fun..and those three months holds memories like three years ! Now miss them badly . Once the training is over, I got calls for project. I was waiting for a project at siruseri. That branch was many persons dream to be work at. Even I had a dream of working there, again because of two reasons. But this time that place was dream than him. So I joined there, what an massive building. I was like a drop of water in an ocean, people everywhere , walking with phones, tabs.. some tensed persons and some persons laughing. What a big cafeteria.! Such a pleasure to work there. On that day ,I tried calling him in the night and remembered that he was working in night shifts.
It’s my birthday before that day I was excited to celebrate with my new friends . Missing my home badly ..but still I manages. Waiting for the first person’s call at night. Fingers crossed, it should be him ! Phone rang, I grabbed and saw.. it was supi… she wished and said “ don’t worry dear, sid will call” while talking to her sid came in line, I cut her call and started talking to him. When he wished me.. I was out of this world… he said he was too weary and tired coz of having an hectic day and gona sleep. I bid a bye,and I can’t sleep ..was in happy mode.
The next day ,I wanted to see him but I cant. It’s been four months since I joined there, but no sign of seeing him.
“Distance kills me a lot..
Rescue me from the solitude..
Hold my hands and never let me go !
Let the distance shrinks and
Love grows …”
Days passed by, I was too busy with all my messy coding, day and night I was breaking my head there, who had time for love and all those romance there ! “ it’s romance between me and my system ..from dawn to dusk “ then and there my writings on blogger and knome gave a relaxation. Many a time, “my words that fell on keyboard will be about him”. My office gave me lot of close buddies… still he’s the one my heart needs.
One fine morning, I was rushing to my block, on the first floor i was about to dash on some one who was rushing on the opposite side of me, oh gosh .. i said sorry and just looked up, it was him ! like a movie seen it was. As usual butterflies on my tummy , am speechless …He broke the silence,
Meeting after a long time : (after a couple of years )
Sid: heyyy…you ? you are here ,in this block ?
Me: yeah ! AM…I was trying to see you ,but what no time. And I don’t know that u are here !
Sid: oh..fine ! I have lots of works ..see u later ..
Me: yup..even I have.. have a nice day …good to see you again ! u look so professional bye !
Again I was with millions of smile on face and went to my place. I got a message from him saying “ my friends asked who are you, I said you are my sister “ I was at the edge of my anger after reading this, seems like am at the end of this world, if he told me at my face, I would have thrashed him. After that message I was unable to talk to him. Does he think me as a sister? Too worse !! I can see him each single day atleast once ,but this time my tummy has no butterflies. It was burning as a forest fire. I can’t even give a smile at him. Just an blank look ! BLANK… “ everything was blank in my life after that “.
[ TO BE CONTINUED –PART IX- ME TODAY !]
ME TODAY !
I can’t survive there for more than a year, hectic life, actually a machine life . The life which I wanted to live was something different and I was somewhere. So I had a breakup with my corporate relationship.Before last few days of my resignation, i called him ...
Our last converstation :
Me: hi sid,busy? can u spare just two minutes for me?
Sid: yup,tell !
Me: nothing much, i put paper,and i will be leaving by day after tomorrow.
Sid: why suddenly? any problem?
Me: kinda health issues and i'm going for higher studies, basically i don't like to be here.
Sid: oh..okay all the best for your future !
Me: can we meet ? if u r free?
Sid: tomorrow?
Me:fine,bye
-----that was a last bye..indeed a good bye-------
the next day i went to head office ,so no chance of meeting him. The final day, with an heavy heart i handed over my access card and left my office. Before that i gave him a call, no response ....i just heard " subscriber u have called seems unavailable to attend the call" that was a final call from my mobile to him. The moment i stepped out of the office,i had few drops of tears that i miss something here, and my hands deleted his number ! Till today... no messages..no calls !! even his number which i memorized at a single breath vanished .... "memories are buried inside,this story again triggered my memories"
Now am here with all blessing of God, now I realize, “God has a bigger dream for me, than I dream for myself” here I remember my favorite poem lines “ men may come ,men may go but I has to go on forever-the brook poem “ like a river, our life has to go on forever. In the course of a river, it carry many rocks, debris, flowers , plants etc. Each of them finds a place to settle down, as the same many people travel with us all the way on our life, some people has different places of halt, but our life has to go on forever !
I have a life for me ! I would like to tell don’t be in a Utopian world of love , “love is real not an imaginary” A Real guy ,Never Let Her Girl To Feel For Anything Under This World. Those memories , now gave me a path to spill out my writings to this world. I really thank Sid for his memories, I like him a lot. Still I like him, I never hate him. But now he don’t have a place in this phase of my life !
-------THE END----
thanks to all the readers :)
if u have any comments and suggestion ..u r most welcome !
NEXT STORY..ON THE WAY ..... :)