It has been a very busy day with all the packing and unpacking going on since morning. Though there were not too many stuffs, just a few furnitures and some basic stuffs we needed for us. Before we moved in I managed to get the bathroom pipes fixed. The weather was fine most of the time, unlike the day when we first visited the place. There was a lot else to be done like fixing the windows and the bedroom door. The staircase that creaked with every step, as if it would break now or then. The house had to be painted. I hired some pest controllers beforehand who had a tough time cleaning the house. But finally here we are. Home sweet home.
As days passed , I understood how foolish I was to ever decide not to buy that house, it was perfect. It needed some tending that was it. But the considerable distance from the college was a big problem so I brought a second hand car- I was not wealthy enough to buy a new one. The one thing that annoyed me was that the house took over meghna. She was always attending to it, giving me least attention. She worked all day without complaining even once, she enjoyed gardening. The place that appeared absolutely barren and dry even a week ago was gradually filling itself in green. Rose, marigold, various types of Dalia brightened the place and she would never get tired of watering the plants two to three times a day. In the evenings , when I reached home from college she would no more watch television with me, as she got tired by then and went of to sleep. By the time I got to bed , she was already fast asleep.I missed her, poking me to hit the gym, exercising control on my diet, as if I mattered to her no more.
By 9:00, the locality became absolutely quiet. Infact it was quiet most of the time, only the constant murmur of the leaves , the noises of nature in harmony with the little world of ours. Our neighbours consisted of a handful of the working class people- most of them worked in the tea gardens. I never knew if at all she missed the urban society as she was too busy in cleaning and mopping , cooking and doing all the household. When I decided to keep a maid, she was furious. She wouldn’t let anyone intrude in her world, as if she grew a kind of unknown obsession for the house. Like it was something precious, even more than me. Often I heard her talk to herself while she worked, but she would hardly even talk with me at the dinner table. This sudden change within her took me by surprise, but I had no time to fix things as I was busy in college. The physical strain was getting longer day by day and that was evident from her thinning waist. Soon she fell sick and doctor gave her strict warning not to leave the bed before one month. She had no other option but to give consent.
Finding a new maid was not very difficult, I got help from Tikaram our school guard who convinced his wife Shanti to work in our home. Though a daily drunkard, Tikaram never gave any chance to the college authorities to complain about him. He never drank while on duty, but while he coming home, he would never forget to hit the village pub to meet his friends. Whatever money he earned, he spent it on himself. And as was supposed to happen one day he fell sick. Unfortunately he lost his job, and the money I gave him for treatment was spent on more liquors. The day he died, I remember Shanti telling me that his leaving did not bother her at all. It was his staying alive that made life hell for her. Her face was hard with no expression of any emotion. I couldn’t help but feel sorry for the five year old fatherless child who did not even get to realise what she had lost.
Leaving Shanti and her daughter in that little house with most of the villagers eyeing them like a hunter does to its prey, was not a very thoughtful idea. So I decided to let them stay in my house for as long as they wanted to. Moreover, by that time Meghna grew a special affection for Arvi. At times when Shanti took Arvi to our house, I could read from her face the extent of happiness that she felt, like she was her own child. She forgot work and layed with her all day. I never had any idea what conversation went on between the two but was gald that the house was no more her obsession.
Then one day Shanti entered the gates with her belongings and her little daughter clutching her white pallu. She was never afraid to cross the gates brfore , but somehow she could decipher that they had come there to live for a long time , perhaps FOREVER. I remember she had blue eyes which was weird because neither of her parents had one. Her golden hairs were undone almost all the time, matted with sand and clay that she played with in the garden all day. In the afternoon when she got bored, she would ride the swing with her hair flowing in sync with the wind.Her pink frock, and those innocent yet speaking eyes, I could never forget them. She never talked with meinspite of my frequent attempts of making her start a conversation, by gifting her a doll, a book or dress sometimes. She would always accept them making no sign of emotions and keep it on one side of her room , where a pile of other stuffs that Meghna gifted her was kept. But she was careful enough not to mix it with her favourite belongings that she had hidden in that box. I got only one chance to peek while I was cleaning the storeroom for them, the pink frock, a one eyed doll, a torn book of nursery rhymes, a few pebbles. Those were precious to her – more than what we gave. Though she never talked to me, she was quiet open with Meghna. One day while entering the room I heard Meghna telling her some imaginary story about a doll which was a ghost. Unlike other kids , she laughed.
Meghna: Why are you laughing. Isnt the doll scary?
She did not reply but continued her laughter.
Meghna: Okay I will tell you a different story now.
Arvi: Aunty, why are you sad?
Meghna: What? Who told you I am sad?
Arvi: I know you are sad. I know.
Meghna: What do you know Arvi?
Her face was serious.
Arvi: I know you cry every night. I saw you cry yesterday.
She couldn’t finish, but Meghna held her close. Her pupils dilated, while she was making terrible efforts to control her emotions. She held her gently and looked into her eyes.
Meghna: Alright, now promise aunty that you wont tell this to anyone.
Arvi: But why were you crying?
Meghna: Because someone took my doll. A monster. A very bad monster.
Arvi: Dont cry aunty, I will give you mine, please don’t cry.
She wiped her tears with those little hands- those tears that I failed to see from a long time.
Meghna: Okay, so will you promise to keep this a secret.
Arvi: Whats a secret?
Meghna: Well, its a game, where you know something but you don’t tell it to others.
Arvi: Okay.
But I didnt get to hear after that, because Shanti arrived at the spot with tea and biscuits. I signalled her to stay silent as she saw me overhearing their conversation, and tiptoed down the stairs to the garden.
I sat there all evening thinking about her, all that she had went through for a long time and I didn’t have any idea about it. “How could I be so insensible not to look through her? From when did she start keeping things back from me?”Questions kept on cropping up and I was not worried. It was anger that spoke. We promised each other that we would never walk alone, and it was too soon to forget that. But the thing above all that striked me – What was it all about?
That night as I lay in the bed beside her, I kept thinking about that.” How did the Arvi know when I didn’t? And what can possibly upset her at this point of life when everything has been sorted. I sshe sick? And she does not want me to know about it because few months back she did fall sick, but I had a word with the doctor who said she was perfectly fine. Just a month of rest would do her good. If it was serious he must have told me. Then what could it be?” Too many questions bugged my mind and I finally had to get up. She was not asleep either, she responded as soon as I left the bed.
Her: What happened? Not feeling sleepy?
Me: No, just some college work I suddenly recalled. Well you are not sleepy too .
Her:You know I am a light sleeper.
Me: Okay I gonna make some coffee and complete my work.
Her: I can make it for you.
Me: No you take rest.
That moment we heard someone opening the door. It was Aarvi, she stood there extremely surprised looking at me, as if I was not supposed to be there.
Me: Hi Arvi, what are you doing at this hour? Not sleepy huh? Come inside.
She hesitated but I managed to bring her into the room as I gave her my hand. The other one was holding something, it was the one eyed doll. She did not utter a single word and slowly proceeded towards Meghna, gave her the doll and went back. I saw Meghna’s face , a feeling of fear and panic striked her and I chose to calm the atmosphere down for the moment.
Me: She is so cute. Why don’t we have our own kid Meghna. Did you think of any names yet?
I sat beside her allowing her body to rest on me
Her: You thought about kids?
Me: I want to have a girl, like her. Cute , sensible, who will play around the house all day, and when she turns five, I will give her a cycle that she would ride all over the garden, and Arvi would have a friend too.
Her: I too want it Neel.
Me: So lets make them, what say?
I acted saucy suppressing my inner doubts and fears. She would never open up to me until she felt comfortable so there was no point asking her about anything that moment.
Her: Neel you said you have work.
Me: Who cares about work when one has a beautiful wife like you.
Her: What happened Neel. You are acting so.......
Me: Bad. I want to be bad dear. Very bad.
I said while fiddling with her curls.
We forgot all our anxieties for the moment and had a lovely night spent together.