Dear Beloved,
This is my first letter to you. I never had a chance to write one before. Why am I writing now? Maybe because I just wanted to tell you how much you mean to me.
I still remember the first time I saw you, through the tiny crack in the wall between our apartments. You were singing to yourself and I just could not stop looking. Since then, every night I heard you sing and dance and work and sleep and laugh and cry. I wanted to see you take off your clothes, but it was not time for that, not yet. So I watched you do everything except that.
Every mood of yours, I captured on my canvas with bloody reds and pale greys. All my time was spent on you. When you were home, I watched you. When you were not there, I painted you. I dreamt of you, every single night. I loved you with all my heart but I also felt this seething rage towards you, I was angry with you for not knowing me, for not realising that I was there for you.
That day when I entered the lift after you; you looked at me and shrank away into the corner. You hugged your bag closer to your chest like I would hurt you! Believe me, I was so mad at you that I did want to hurt you. I struggled to keep my hands to myself. They were torn between pulling you closer and kissing you or slapping you hard for trying to shy away from me. But I did nothing, for it was not time for that, not yet. So all I did was to bring out my best portrait of you and slit it through the cheek.
But that night when you came back, I heard you singing and I wept. I knew how much I loved you and I apologised in front of your portrait over and over. And then, to show you how sorry I was, I slit my palms and then set about stitching up the canvas with my bleeding hands. I think the trails of my blood dripping down your cheeks make you look even prettier.
Then one night, the noisy family on our floor went out for dinner. And the nosy old lady was in the hospital. I knew, now was the time. I saw you through the crack, you were working. I went over and rang your bell. You opened the door a crack and I asked if you could lend me some coffee. You didn’t want to, but you took my cup and went into the kitchen. I locked the door and followed you in.
Now was the time for everything that I had denied myself. I helped you take off your clothes. God, you were so passionate! You struggled so beautifully in my arms. You begged so musically. You acted so well, I almost believed you did not want me. But I know you did. You wanted me to grab you and kiss you. Admit it my love, don’t be shy. I saw your tears and my heart ached with joy. They were the prettiest things I had ever seen. Soon we were immersed in the sensual dance; the music in my heart had reached a crescendo. And in that moment, I poured all my love into you. In that moment, I made you mine. I think that right then you were about to say something, but I will never know. For in the next moment, I made you mine; forever.
Now we spend every day together, ensconced in our love for each other. I gaze upon your peaceful face every night, let my fingers caress your cold cheeks. And tonight, I will lay this letter by your side before I say the words that I have said every night since; I love you, my precious. And close the lid on the freezer.
Yours forever...