I didn't know when did I start staring but her, sipping her Ice chocolate and flipping those pages looks interesting.
As I observe, I notice those overlapping lines of healed and fresh wounds in her wrist up to her arm and look at mine too --
and immediately, my mind went blank.
It's like tons of thoughts came rushing to the point that I can't absorb it.
What is her reason?
Sometimes, I think about what are in people's mind whenever they see my wounded wrist. Personally, when I ride a train, I look at other people's wrist. Whether it has scars or fresh wounds. I want to know if there's someone out there who is just like me -- but what will I do if I see that someone? Should comfort her? Should I approach her? Should I just randomly touch her wounds? Should I ask her why?
I don't know that that day will be today
and I still don't know what to do.
It's such a hypocrisy if I say "you shouldn't have done that. Life is so beautiful" because neither am I believe it. I couldn't save myself, how am I gonna save others?
But beneath all these, I still don't want someone to take their own lives. Specially, when I've got a chance to interact with them. It kills me too because I will think to myself that I should've ask you many times if you're okay. I should've read between the lines. I could've save you but I'm insensitive that time.
I blink twice to take a break for too much thinking. She still looks so in to what she's reading. I turn my back at her and focused on my drink.
I heard my phone rang so I search for it and kinda panicked when it isn't in my pocket. I opened my backpack, hoping that that will be there. I'm at the tip of crying until a hand poke my shoulder.
"Is this yours?" She said.
"uh, Y-yes."
She handed me my phone using her wounded arm and I reach it with mine.
It felt odd seeing her wounds this close and I think she's feeling and thinking the same because she's looking at my wrist, too.
"W-want to talk?" She said nervously but trying to disregard it.
I smiled. I didn't know why but it's like I've seen a savior. Someone who will understand. It doesn't matter if we're both in the edge, as long as I have a someone next to me -- I wouldn't fall.