"Never have i ever had alcohol!"
"What!!".. Together they all screamed and took a sip of coke from their glasses.
"But Navya, it's difficult to believe that you haven't had drinks!". Rachel exclaimed and others agreed to it with a nod. They made 'ooohh..' 'hmm...' noises while some others whispered.
"Well, there has to be something different happening in life", Navya said with a smirk. "Whose turn next?”, she changed the topic as usual. A couple of other turns with statements which any girl who are in their late teenage would do. Not a single sip of coke has been taken by Neha. She felt the situation very awkward that she decided to go back to her room. Others continued playing.
Neha spilled water on her face many no. of times. It could hide the tears that were rolling down her cheeks. But it couldn't help the infliction that she was concealing since years. Why is it that she couldn't handle even a normal situation that happens in a girl’s hostel? What is stopping her from telling the world what she actually wants? She was done! Done with masking herself from others.
"You alright?", asked the girl with the belly button piercing.
"Rachel!", Neha woke up from her thoughts when Rachel placed her hands over her shoulders. "Yes, I'm perfectly fine", Neha said wiping her tears.
"You don't seem to be!" saying this Rachel walked to her bed. "I can understand what's running through your mind. Not necessarily you have to play with us whenever we ask you. It’s better you don't play than ending up feeling creepy about us."
"No! No! Not what you are thinking... But... ", a sentence left halfway. Rachel looked at her bewildered. She looked at her with her hands crossed over her chest. Neha stood still. Her eyes met Rachel's and they stood in silence for a minute. Neha broke down. She couldn't help it. She fell on her knees to the floor and wept. Rachel walked up to her, and asked, "Is there something that you want to share, that you haven't shared so far?" Neha lifted her head. "Trust me, it will be between us." Rachel assured.
“I cannot do what my heart says! Society, parents, my conservative relatives... When they all speak rubbish, I.. I just become numb. Because if I raise my voice, then they cannot take it! They believe that I’m spoiling their expectations. Even I have expectations, dreams, and opinions. But I’m shunned to the corner! I’m fed up of this, I can’t take it anymore...” and she wept so badly.
Rachel said calmly, “Your life, your decisions. It’s you who judge your life and not anyone else. If you wish to do something, you should go for it, even if the result is not positive. You learn from it. Until you do things that do not become a nuisance for others, it is absolutely not a problem. Come on, cheer up!!”
A word of hope! Nobody had ever told like this to Neha before. She felt a little better. Rachel made Neha sit on the bed.
“Make a list of things you wanna do. Like a bucket list. Say for example, 10 things which has to be done in.. hmm.. a month! And try to do it. Whatever it is, it should bring happiness to you. Let me tell you, the feeling of accomplishing something is priceless! You feel that you are in the top of the world.” Rachel reassured.
The next 30 days of the month was the days of fulfilling her dreams for Neha. She drank, fell in love, and broke up, partying.... All the 10 wishes in her bucket list were checked. Not that everything was a success. She felt gay for the ones that turned out well, and learned from what she couldn’t accomplish successfully. But now, she feels happy! She could do what her heart said.
“Never have I ever accomplished everything in my wish list!” said Navya, on another peaceful Saturday evening. Girls laughed, and didn’t take a single sip.
“Cheers!” said Rachel and Neha, and happily had their coke!