Its halfway of December already. This year is going to end within few days and so i thought to go to the flashback and recall the whole year. Well I must say it was a horrible idea. I mean when I looked back, I saw countless strokes of Karma and Reality. No, i won't scruple to shrive that i am the reason of my own problems. I was a day dreamer before,even sort of Utopian. When i got out of my comfort zone, my fantasies and the harsh reality collided with each other. That hurts indeed. The scratches of Karma gave me such deep wounds that i'm still unable to recover. Yes, I did wrong in my past for what karma backfired me. Even the backfires of My Wrong Choices has also made me suffer too much. All these made me to Change myself . I have changed. My real self has lost in those of folds of twists and turns of my life. It seems like I'm lost in some foggy way from where i don't know way out. I know there is sunshine Somewhere, i just don't know the way out. The fog are my sorrow. The fog of sorrow are too cold.
The other years pass with a flow but this year, i felt each day. I felt each second of time with suffering. But this does not mean that i haven't have fun. Yes,i smiled, i laughed HIDING MY PAIN. I tried to live.
But now, at the end of this year i realized that all of those suffering has caused by my own. It didn't help me to change for good. Now I have become much more agitated. My emotions has become untamed. Sometimes I burst out in silly reason without even realizing what the fuck I'm doing . I don't know what is wrong with me? I'm so much anxious. I'm restless. I just need the peace of my mind. i want peace. I want to calm down. But i can't. I'm CEASELESSLY, PEACE LESS & AGITATED! I Am lost.
I covet for solace.