Love what you do and do what you love. Rest isn't you concern!
The bell rang at what the clock told 2 a.m.
She came and opened the door in an ajar and asked "Who is it?"
Me: (Sighed) So you forgot your husband, eh?
She: Oh... Get in...
I somehow built a pace to move through the darkness of the room toward the couch and let go of my weight.
She: (Yawned) You want food?
Me: Can you... just... sit beside me for a moment?
She: (With a slight confused frown) What happened?
I loosened my tie and shifted my head to my hands. She came and sat beside me maintaining a one hand gap.
She: You look tired...
Me: Yeah...
She sighed a little and looked at me.
She: You know... you are kinda looking cute...
I shifted my gaze to her almost baffled with the change of topic, looking at her blankly.
She: Come on now! TELL!
Me: I am not rich.
She: Is that the problem?
Me: No... its just...
She: Its what?
Me: I have been asking this question to me... since a long time...
She made an angry face.
Me: (Swallowed) What am I here for? I am a good for nothing...
She looked at me, confused for quite sometime, quiet, maybe angry.
She: Lets go to sleep!
I blindly stared at her.
She frowned the soul out of me. I shifted my head back to my hands.
Me: They fired me.
She: Really? (In quite a normal way)
Me: They found a better graphics designer than me, and as I was a junior designer, they fired me.
She: So try for another job. (In the simplest way possible)
Me: They got me out because I was new to Adobe Illustrator...
She: So learn it proper.
Me: I wasn't productive, I was stuck with same design, they said.
She: (Sighed) Then be a little more productive!
Me: Its not that easy! And then all of them, all of them have a better skill than mine! That Riana, he, he had mastered the use of c sharp at the age of 14 and Nikhil, he is using photoshop since his birth! HE EVEN OWNS HIS OWN STUDIO!
She: So?
I sighed.
She: Are you jealous?
Me: They insulted me!
She: What did they told?
Me: They told that...
She: WHAT DID THEY TOLD?!
Me: That I am too poor for a proper family of even two.
She: Oh. Is that right?
I stared at her.
Me: No... no...
She: Then? What is the problem?
Me: I guess... I don't have a possible bright future.
She: Well, if you believe in your skills and hard work, you surely can have!
Me: Not with these people around. They are much better than me. They make me realize that I am nothing compared to even an average designer. I don't know what you found amazing in me.
She smiled and hugging me cried: Its because I loved you!
Me: Yeah, you loved a complete trash.
She giggled a little: Come on now! You are skilled in many things!
Me: Like?
She: I don't know... cooking...
Me: And what use is that to me? What is the meaning having a talent which doesn't yield me something!
She: Show it to the world then!
Me: Come on now, even if I do, I would be pretty below the professionals! And it in no way will attract people!
She: So you mean a writer only writes to attract people?
Me: I didn't said that!
She: Yes you did.
Me: I told that people won't support me! Naswi, look this world runs on a base, which is the society! If people don't like it, its useless!
She: Well then why did you married me? Wasn't the whole world against this inter-caste marriage?
Me: Because I LOVED YOU!
She: So don't you love your talents? Your skills?
I sat quite sobbing.
She hugged me again: Give yourself some time! Practice but move with this pace! You don't need to be fast, just keeping doing something new EVERY FREAKING DAY!
I nodded.
Me: What about the people better than me? How will I compete with them?
She: Did you competed with the other classmates in our batch to show that you loved me?
Me: I don't know...
She: No you didn't! You didn't when all of the boys put on their best shows of attitudes and speeches. That was what I loved about you! Because I was you prime concern, not the attitude or the speech!
I blindly stared at her face which then was shining with the moon light falling on the floor. Her hair slowly waving with the breeze. And there I fell for her ethereal smile again.
She: So put your prime concern to your goals! NOT SOME RIANA OR NIKHIL! After all its your life and to make it worth you have to believe in YOURSELF not in Riana or Nikhil.
I finally smiled at her. While watching her talk. I heard her shouting after that.
She: Are you listening?
Me: Yeah... yeah... I was just... looking...
She blushed and dragged me to the bedroom. I wondered on how stupid I was the whole time, as I followed her.
We usually think ourselves to be weak. And we compete, to find who is the best. As we all are afraid that our whole existence would have no meaning. Definitely neither does mines. But that day made me realize that this would is beyond competition, that if you want to live a strong life, try to love, because talents are single love stories which needs you love to run success.
I laid near her, looking at her innocent face while she slept. How foolish was I thinking I was unlucky, when indeed I was the luckiest man on this planet!