With nothing else to do in a steel plant which is shut for maintainance, I have chosen to write this piece of crap just to pass time. If you have time to read this then you are also a jobless fella like me. Well I am not going to write anything thought provoking as I am in no mood to provoke mine either. It’s about a very important item – the bag which I carry to office every day.
No no no, I am not going to brag about my Louis Viton bag. Being a simple trainee in a big steel plant I simply don’t have the ‘’aukat’’ to own one of those. It’s just a Dell bag designed to keep an Inspiron N5010. So a laptop bag? No, you can’t call it a laptop bag because what I carry to office is not a laptop bag. It used to house my laptop a long time back but now my laptop has moved on to greener pastures and resides in a plush bag provided by my company. So what I carry is technically not a laptop bag.
Now, this stupid bag doesn’t make me any less important in the affairs of my office. I am perhaps the second most important guy in my section. (No, I am not bragging about this). The first is an almost fat man whose only job is to sit in a corner of the control room and curse others. Oh wait; there is another dude who actually makes things run in my area. So that makes him the second and me the third most important person.
OOPS !!! I almost forgot about my original topic – my bag. It’s a small black one to go with most of my shirts which are also black. Now don’t ask me why most of shirts are black…it’s not because of some good great reasons, but just because Mummy says black looks good on me.
Oh yes, the bag. I don’t know why I keep deviating from the main topic. This habit might prove fatal to me one day. Oh no, I did it again. Zzzzzzzz….
In my black non-laptop bag, I always have a novel or two to give me company in boring days like today. Of course not the stupid and lame Chetan Bhagat type novels. I really hate that guy and I think I am a better writer than him. And this, my friends, is a universal truth.
I have a pair of safety goggles which might look like random cheap sun glasses from Market Building but are actually not. It has some kind of special coating that makes it anti-scratch, anti-fog, anti-UV, anti-blah blah blah…. I also have my Fire Redundant jacket, in my bag, whose manufacturer has made very tall claims to protect me from liquid metal or slag splashing. I just hope that an opportunity to put his words to test never arises.
I have a Parker pen which my Mummy had given me for my class 12th boards. Although it stopped writing before the board exams, I still keep it as though it was of some sentimental value. My greatest achievement till date is that I have not lost it like my every other pen. Along with it I have a pencil, an eraser and a sharpener which I use only on those days when the sun raises in the west. An interesting fact about my pencil is that it’s the same pencil that I have been using since class 6th.
I have my punching card which is basically like a dog collar which the company has given me to distinguish me from the rest of the pack. I am bound to carry it every day to prove my allegiance to the company. I also have my special bus pass which makes me privileged enough to board the bus which leaves exactly after 10 minutes after the office hours. Rest all leave after 30-40 minutes. I also have my medical insurance card and my bank passbook. Every day since the last 3 months I have been thinking to transfer them to my cupboard but keep forgetting. I hope today is the day when I finally accomplish the feat.
I also have three mango flavoured lollipops which I had got for a beautiful girl named Lucy. Ya ya, she is an Indian Lucy not a Firangi one. Ohhh, you people are so racist. She is known as Sookriti for official purposes but I prefer calling her Lucy because I believe her official name has a spelling mistake. She is a sweet girl like the perfume she uses. Anyways, just like every other thing I had completely forgotten about the Lollipops and now they are way beyond their expiry date. Hope she doesn’t check the dates when I remember to give her those.
Ok now coming to more important topics than Lucy and her Lollipops, I also have a diary which the company had given me. It’s completely blank as I don’t want to waste the pages by scribbling office related garbage. Also there are a few shredded pages which I tore off the logbook to hide my incompetence.
Apart from that I also have the keys to my room, my mobile charge, my earphones and an occasional umbrella when Lord Indra (Firangi European types read Zeus) doesn’t seem to be in a good mood. The story behind my relationship with my umbrella is a good one which I will share later.
That’s it. This is the life story of my bag. If the contents seem weird to you then guess what a girl friend (read girl friend not girlfriend) of mine carries in her bag.
Lipstick, kajal, a small mirror, hairband, tissues, paper soap, comb, a pair of additional earrings, insect repellent, bear spray, bear resistant food storage container, duty belts, bullet proof jackets, hammock, tomahawk, scuba diving suit, oxygen cylinder, Lunar module medical kit, haemostatic forceps, swiss army knife, AK 47, Agni missile. -_-
NOOB SHE !!!