On Forgiveness

Recently, I found this series called “The Midnight Gospel”, an adult animation series that talks about different aspects of life. It is Psychology- and Philosophy-filled series that really captivated my interest. With this reason, I started to note down my thoughts on each episode. Tried to expound my belief system and ideology, and so far, it has been a great experience for me. Here’s my initial impression regarding its 4th episode:

ON FORGIVENESS

This is the most relatable episode for me so far. Forgiveness, in essence, is a peace given and received by the person who desires peace. It is a gesture of recognizing our flaws as a human being and trying to be accountable for the mistakes made.

One misconception that most people have is, they think an apology is an option to fix easily the problem. When in reality, it is not! Saying ‘sorry’ does not mean it is sort of like a ‘bandaid’ that can take away your pain and viola, you’re healed. Hell NO! Forgiveness is a way to reconnect and reconcile with the relationship being affected by the misgivings and misunderstandings committed by the involved parties. It is, in fact, a part of every corrective measure done to solve the problem. One needs to identify what causes the fault without putting much pressure on who to blame, but rather giving more impetus on how to prevent the problem from happening again — like etiology in a sense.

“You need the help of others to achieve forgiveness.” And that is something I will agree to. This makes it easier for us to recuperate from the damages we felt from the experience, when social support is present. Because when a difficult situation is dealt solely by an individual, we tend to feel the aloneness in our journey; that makes us more vulnerable from the emotions ready to consume/engulf us to nothingness; thus putting our minds to a dark place. However, when we have the privilege/means of reaching out to people who are willing to listen to our sentiments, it is kinda relieving to know that we are being heard. It has a spirit-boosting element that comforts us on our journey of finding the peace we deserve to have.

Another thing about forgiveness is, it does not necessarily mean that we are giving the person, who did us wrong, the permission to be back in our life. NO! Forgiveness is not a reclamation of the lost trust, but a reconciliation with the fact that the trust was, indeed, lost. We forgive the person, but never forget the negative behavior made by the same person. However, this is also not an ‘all or nothing’ phenomenon that order us to not give them the chance to give back to us. With the right reasons/intentions, we may allow them to show how truly sincere they are to us. But one question in mind is, would you give them a second chance when all they want is to redeem theirselves for the sake of getting the guilt feelings out of the emotion system? Well, that’s another story to tell.

Again, forgiveness is an essential tool for humans to prosper and grow characteristically. There is more to learn in life than “to be obsessed over the wrong things that some people did to us.” We must allow ourselves to be free from the shackles of the past traumatic experiences, and live in the glorious moments of the here and now. To begin our journey of healing, it is suggested to find willing and capable people to support and guide us in this critical process of moving on. Knowing that there are compassionate, kind-hearted people (doesn’t matter if those are your friends, family members, or strangers) that are empathically listening to our queries and stories are very helpful and reassuring in a sense. Forgiveness puts our heart at ease in peace after an unfortunate tragedy. One must learn to let go when one is already at its limitation. Forgiveness is one of the satisfying gifts you can give to yourself, however, please remember to do it whenever you are ready.