My days are not as jubilant and bright anymore. I have become this dark and twisty cloud of sadness. I fake smile and do fake things in hope that I find myself again. But, in certainty, I know I have lost myself to you. You were an integral part of my soul and when you left, you tore away a piece of me. You took my happiness with you and ever since I have been trying to pull myself back. I have been trying to mend my soul.
Although, this stupid, broken heart of mine fails to hate you. Maybe this is how Love is supposed to feel like. Maybe we are impulsed to find the happiness in the sadness and the good in the bad. Maybe.
I still remember the time we first held hands and I can still feel the warmth of your fingers between mine. I question myself, if you still cherish those?
I remember those little evening walks and how my heart used to yearn to extend those a tad little longer. Now tell me, did you wanted to?
You are fading away and I find myself losing us, as each day passes by. But I feel like I am getting myself back too. The white hot pain I felt is now just a throbbing ache in my heart.
Sometimes, I slip into this place where I shut people out and zone in to our own world, where I am happy because I can see you, hear your voice and feel your presence. I miss you. But I have learned to pick myself up and move on.
Sometimes, things aren't meant to be. Maybe or maybe not. We never get to choose who our hearts fall for. I guess I must have loved you so hard, that there is this crack in my heart. One that will always remind me of us.
Broken promises and fading memories. That is who we have become.