Everything about today’s world has to do with money even the basic things that a human is entitled to. We have grown to an extent where our mind has tricked us into forgetting the things that are not for sale and has come up with a market for it. One such heinous market is dowry whose continual existence can be owed to our perceived notion on male chauvinism. The most ironic of all things is that it exists in a society whose very foundational work has all together a different idea of it.
One such ‘proposed transaction’ that I have come across is- A guy writes a fabulous essay on dowry system in his civil services exam, the very next year he demands a dowry of one crore because he is an IAS officer. Does he feel he's entitled to such an amount because of his highly regarded position? if that is the case then let me post a question, Is his designation higher than that of a mother ? How much is he willing to pay her for a swollen tummy for months, risking her life bearing 57 del units of pain so that he could have a child to have his name put in the father’s column ! Let us wake up to the fact that a society of such practice will have husbands and fathers but never better-halves and dads. Our daughters will have successful lives but never a happy one.
Our sons want to get paid to embark on the next phase of their very own lives! This looks similar to something called business, where the traded product is a woman. On reaching the expiry date (age of marriage) she is traded to a stranger only difference is he gets paid on acceptance of her. What has ever happened to the institution of marriage? Parents are the foremost beings to anyone but that does not make them immortal. There comes an age where the drool from our face seeks attention to have it wiped off and none can do it as deliberately as our better half.
Women of those days had to be won to have their hand in marriage but today they are offered on silver plate decorated with bills. Our forefathers considered a woman’s dignity to be a highly held virtue that was to be preserved at all costs but here we are robbing it in broad daylight and call ourselves civilized.
This is what Manu, the foundational work of ancient Indian society has to say on the subject,
A woman’s property (strīdhanam) is defined as being of six types: what was given to her at her marriage in front of the fire, during the bridal procession, as a token of affection, what was obtained from her brother, mother or father. In addition any subsequent gift and whatever her affectionate husband gives her should be inherited by her children when she dies, even during the lifetime of her husband. (Manu 9:194-195) Those deluded relatives who live off a woman’s property — her carriages, her clothes, and so on are evil and go to hell. (Manu 3:52) The government should protect the estate and inherited property of women who are barren or have no sons, who have no families, who are faithful wives, widows or ill. But if, while these women are alive their own relatives should take these away, a just government should punish them with the punishment for theft. (Manu 8:28-29)
Our ancestors went a step ahead by enforcing it yet a degraded version has found its way in our lives when the british passed laws on banning women having rights to properties. This has paved the way for husbands to own them on their part and subsequently gave birth to dowry system. Thus sons became a boon and daughters a financial burden leading to female foeticide and unspoken atrocities. Female is not a fee paid to a male but a iron support on whom our sons can rely in sickness and health, let us not tag them with a price. If the custom is to be revived, how many of us would deserve our women let alone dowry.
Were we paid to have parents? then why the exception to have a better half…..