Today is going to be just another day without you.
Everything seemed perfectly fine: the clouds hiding the blistering sun, the gentle breeze of wind cooling the city, and people walking without showing a slight interest of my mere presence in this particular sidewalk.
Yet standing on the edge of this pedestrian lane blew up my assumption. This isn't one of those days.
You are there, at the other end of these white parallel lines, also waiting for the 'walk' signal.
You are there, still as strikingly handsome as ever with the face that often haunted me in my dreams.
You are there, looking at me with those piercing eyes of which I unveiled my hidden scars and moles to.
You are there, and I wonder if it's just a ghost of someone I think about too much or miss so much, yet no one walked straight through you to confirm my only hope of denial.
You are there, and I would've appreciated if dysmenorrhea came this morning, or if dusty bookshelves triggered my allergy, so I wouldn't be here in this street today.
You are there, and I wish I can Disapparate, or cast the Disillusionment Charm on me, or turn into my Animagus form, so I could escape this awkward moment with you.
I knew that this day would come. I had pondered countless times on how to face this circumstance and came up with a plan I was very proud of.
I saw myself sporting the tough woman I barely know, confidently acting like I didn't know you are near or showing that I don't really care anymore. My face would scream happiness and you wouldn't know I was beyond heartbroken. I had prepared for this exact episode in my life and I thought I was ready to face it.
As the cars appear to be slowing down in front of me and a lump inside my throat starts to grow, I realized I have been so strong even before this day.
I have been strong for not begging you to stop leaving me on that cliche raining afternoon.
I have been strong for stopping myself to call or text you on drunk 2AM's, and cry instead.
I have been strong for trying to forget your kiss, your touch and everything I miss about you.
I have been strong for accepting the painful truth that you will never come back to me.
I have been strong for telling everyone I am okay and pretend that our memories don't randomly flash in the middle of the day.
But today isn't one of those days without you and I am giving myself a break at being brave.
Finally, the traffic lights turned red, the cars stopped, and the 'walk' signal flickered. The strangers around me parade forward, stepping on the faded lines separating us.
Before you could make any move, I turn my body around and walk back tracing the invisible crumbs on my way home.