Lost in a sea of unknown notes and untouched books,
I began to believe this is what life would always be;
Caught in the never-ending rat race, lost in the crowd,
Nothing else to do, and surely nothing else to see.
But as soon as my tired and wandering mind set sail,
Beyond the four walls of the jail of my own design,
And into the drenched world outside that did exist too,
I realized that nature in its fury was always benign.
And as the petrichor filled my lost, vivid imaginations,
You are standing in front of me, looking at me, smiling.
The infinite crystal spears keep running down my cheeks,
I open my mouth and I can't speak, and I keep crying.
The saudade of having you in my life seems unbearable,
You come near me, and I smell the sillage of your perfume.
Your face blurred in my filmy eyes, your voice muffled,
You were just trying to keep me from crying, I presume.
I am lost in the sweet memories when you were this close,
Lost in the empty markets where we walked hand in hand,
Lost in the sea of once close friends, and once secret places,
While you keep saying some things I don't quite understand.
I look at you, you are sad, dejected now, I don't get it,
I am the one living in the pain of losing you, I thought.
Unable to understand your muffled voice, I am lost,
Of this unexplained change in you, a reason I sought.
You are infuriated, red with anger, your voice clear now,
You tell me of the multitude of pains you kept feeling,
As I walked away from your life, left you alone in the world,
I wanted to stop you, but you didn't, you kept on telling.
And soon, I realized, all my pain within me was negligible,
Compared to all your sufferings, all your untold miseries,
"You never understood me when I was happy or sad!"
You kept repeating that through all your little sad stories
I hug you tightly, embracing you with all my strength,
My guilt and grief fails to push through my eyes anymore,
I can't even beg forgiveness, I can't make you stay here,
I can't have your love again, so I just cry more and more.
You stand motionless, I know not what you expect me to do,
You come to my life again, make me relive all the happy days,
Light up a small candle of hope within me, and blow it off.
You came again just to say that we must now part ways?
I feel your soft palms on my cheek, wiping away my tears,
I look at your eyes, and I fall in love with you all over again,
You hug me back, a soft, yet meaningful one, like you used to,
And as a smile draws upon your face, all I feel is utter pain.
The rain has stopped outside, the petrichor has faded away,
My imagination stumbles, and your existence starts to flicker.
You looked at me, and tried to say something, but I stop you,
And ask you one last favor before you should again disappear,
"Just don't say that everything would be okay,
In only a moment you'll say good bye"
-I'd love to hear your opinions regarding this piece, thank you for reading-