The Red Eyed Monster part-I

I don't know of many people around me who know that they are monsters within themselves, but I know one such person, me.

I'm many things, combined into one. I'm cunning, manipulative, imaginative, romantic, observant,  attentive and I'm plainly and bluntly a normal human at times, riddled with greed, ego, pride, and a constant desire for love from everyone. All these combine together to make me something I had always despised of all my life.

Ever since the advent of my teenage days, I had always hated people who were not honest with their partners, and cheated them with someone else. I hated people who changed partners like clothes and then go on to say dirty things about them. I hated people who said that they are confused whether they love one guy or the other. I hated people who lacked the guts to say what was the truth only to have some personal gain. Looking back at all that, I basically hated what I was to become later, although not completely.

A few years after the advent of my teenage, on a trip to Darjeeling with my parents, I accidentally found love. Although it lasted only as long as the trip itself, I felt like a chained tiger who had smelt blood for the first time in his life. I liked that feeling, the feeling of being special in someone's life, that feeling of exhilarating feelings within you as you see that one special face in the crowd, the feeling of floating inches above the ground as you got a warm hug from that very special person. And I wanted more of it, but the question was, "how?"

They won't just find me and fall in love with me, right? I myself needed to make my move. But what if they don't like me? What if they don't like my nature? What if they don't like the way I react to certain things? I couldn't take that risk. This love was like a drug I needed more and more of, no matter what the price be. I decided that I needed to sculpt myself into that person they can love, pretend to be their ideal choice. Having many female friends helped me too, for I knew what type of talks they'd like, what traits they'll honor, and what things they'd like to talk about. And I finally started making my move...

let me know in the comments section if you're interested in reading further, then I'll publish the next chapter to this article