You see most people around you gearing up to get married and a few already married. If you're someone who still hasn't been able to find 'the one' or the thought of getting married unsettles you, you could find yourself inundated.
Strangers rushing to get engaged over the internet fills your heart with unexplained dread. It makes you think if it's really that simple to choose a partner. Is it the bare minimum people settle for ultimately or if that is what they were looking for in the first place? But if it's so easy to be with someone, why haven't you been able to? Perhaps you've spent too long being fixated on an ideal and consequently your expectations are far too high. Or possibly you've put in the effort to build something and have had it fall to pieces everytime.
You're still unclear as to why you resist it even though you don't detest the idea of being with someone. Your mind is filled with contradictory thoughts. It's hard to reconcile with the fact that if you can't discern your own mind, how will somebody else? At times, it's terrifying and vacillating. Other times it feels tranquil.
It's funny how people claim to be skeptical about the heart and yet you see them choose it over the mind. So surely the heart can't be as complicated as the mind makes it out to be. And maybe it's not the mind but your heart that needs discerning. If you're patient enough, you'd come across someone who reaches it and stays, eternally. Probably not today, but some day.