Who am I?
We all ask ourselves this question quite a lot.
There are many ways how to look for the answer. Many categories to choose from. Many angles to look from.
One particular comes to my mind a lot lately... Do I believe in love or am I just too anoyed by it?
I do have the answer. I believe in both. What I don't have is an explanation...
I'm very cynical and sarcastic. I also like to think I'm not 'most girls'. Whenever my sister or my friends tell me, where did their boyfriends took them for a date, give me some "love letters" sent to them (on Facebook) to read, I pretend I'm touched by it only when I'm in a good mood, otherwise I make some sarcastic comment and they look offended by it.
On the other hand... I am a romantic. A massive one. In every story I look for love. When I'm reading a book, even though I love every word of of it, I browse through pages to see how many of them are separating me from some romantic scene. I believe that there's 'the one' for everybody. I walk down a street and wonder if people passing by me have met their true loves already.
Sometimes I imagine meeting the person to spent the eternity with. Someone I'm destined to share my future with. Maybe I'll see him/her (you never know) across the room, and when we kiss for the first time, I'll just know. But then... The other part of me starts talking and all I hear is: Don't be stupid! You know that's never gonna happen. Suddenly I'm not in a fairytale anymore. Suddenly I'm picturing myself divorced, waiting for the new 'significant other' to show up.
I have no idea, which side of me should I believe. Of course, the true-love-believer part is more tempting, but isn't it dangerous to let myself be consumed by too much of hope and belief?
I guess I have a lot more time to find out. Or I'll just wait and get surprised. Maybe there are no two sides. Maybe there's only one. A completely different, strange and more exciting one.