You do understand that I had loved you. I furnish your memories now.
Kabir had addressed the undefined God as 'Sahab' and I found my God when I fell in love with you so I named you Sahab. I guess it was 2010 when your friends tempted with your hurled in the air here and there. I saw your gray scale orkut display pic...and I was in love.
You were splendid in many ways and how splendidly you had said that 'it is the distance between countries' upon my thought that it was probably the last time that I was seeing you. We concluded with that kiss...and then you flew away to Dubai, never to come back.
I promised myself that I would never go to Mumbai Airport. There lay my burial.
I had loved you like a mad woman. Do you remember 22nd Sep when you had called me after six months when you were drunk on '13thFloor' with whiskey worth of thirteen thousand and you reminded me of our love and of Aisha ? Would you ever do that again? I guess no.
I do not dream of us now. I have this fragment of subconscious imagination that you will hold me and I cry in your arm like I will have never cried before and you will say 'Hush...hush...I'm here' but you are not here and you will never be here. You will always be embedded on wrist as that tattoo which I had got done on our last valentines day in Pune. How crazy of me? You see...the guy I'm dating these days often asks me to get it removed and I'm reluctant. You remember when asked me for the promise...yes that one...so I have it and I'll always have it. There are too many promises I breached but I think I'll keep this one.
The baby died in me after we broke up. Aisha was never born. My gut says it was boy.
Why did you leave us...Sahab? And you had said you never had loved anyone more than me? Where did we go?
I often remember those crazy services we did for each. I use to light your cigarette when you went to the toilet as the first thing in the morning. God...you actually made the place stinky. You had a very bad digestive system. How interestingly you helped with changing my pads when I was dead drunk. We were there...almost there. I so married to you.
We both ruined it. I'm sorry..I really am...that little house in Kharghar was my world and you were my everything but I'm sorry I was there too. I couldn't become what you wanted me to become...because I never wanted it. I was a feminist or whatsoever you called it. I loved smoking and I cried when I women were tormented and I was not ready to veil my face at your home town and I wasn't ready to toil in the kitchen all the time but that doesn't I didn't love you...but I also loved myself. Nishant...we were good but not perfect and there is nothing perfect not even love.