Saint Marie beach

Here I am, sitting here by myself, staring at the sea. cool wind touching my face like a blind woman trying to figure out how I look. the sky is blue, clear blue. the clouds are like cotton pieces floating in the air. I feel like I'm in a dream. it feels peaceful and quiet. I'm breathing softly just like a baby hugging his mother, it is like a Van Gogh painting. the sound of waves dancing in the shore is like a Beethoven's Rhapsody. the sand is softer than the clouds in the sky, it looks like pieces of gold. I could stay here forever, I want to stay here forever.

"what are you doing here ?" the voice says to me. I look behind me, I see a handsome man, wearing shiny cloths. I seem to know him but I can't remember his name. 

he speaks to me with a familiar tongue, "let's go," he says, pointing to the other direction. "we've got plenty of things to do, the others are waiting for us", he continued. who is this guy?, i seem to trust him but I don't know why, who are the others?,  I stood on my feet and I went with him, now I'm inside a pub, girls dancing boys too, loud music, colorful lights, sweat, heat, noise, I don't like this place.

 "come on follow me," the guy says, I follow him to a table, girls, more girls. "this is my friend, I found him sitting in the beach," the guy says. "James, come to sit next to me," says one of the girls, James, that is his name, I still don't know him. one of the girls pull me down while saying,"you're not gonna spend the entire night staring at us are ya?". she is beautiful, her hair is short, curly, black, her eyes are big, round, brown, her skin is like caramel and I bet it tastes like it, "my name is Sophia" she said. her voice is softer than a minor note.

 " nice to meet you,"I say, "mine is -----,"I can't hear my name, is it normal? , she shakes her head. did she hear it?. I think so. she is staring at me like a lion staring at a deer. it is awkward, is it ?. I'm confused. I can't think clearly, the music is loud. I say to her " can we leave this place ?".

she's drinking, they are all drinking," yeah let's go, this place is boring,". she grabs me by my wrist, we are out. it is night, how long have we been in there?. "get in the car," says Sophia. I open the door and I get in. she's going to drive, but she's drunk !. she begins driving, she's going fast, too fast, she is laughing, loudly, very loudly. she turns on the music, it is louder. she's happy, I'm not. maybe we are not made for each other. suddenly she stops for the red light. another car stops next to ours. it's James, "wanna race me?" he says. he has the other girls with him in the backseat,"you bet I am" says Sophia, she's not gonna race him, is she? no, she is not that stupid. I guess I was wrong. she is stupid. 

we are in the middle of the road, in the heart of the city. racing, car racing, this has to end. she goes faster than him, he disappears. we get to a foggy street, and we stop. what is she doing ?, why is she stopping ?.  " get outta the car," she says,"I'm not stupid" she adds. what? did she hear me, how is it possible?. 

"no, you're not?" I say,"why would you think such a thing?",I added. 

"I didn't...you did?". did she read my thoughts? who is she?.

I get out of the car, she went. I'm alone again. I'm walking on the street. no one is here. this city is deserted. is it the apocalypse?. the streetlight makes my shadow bigger than me. at least I'm not alone. "boOOOOOOoom" I hear an explosion. I'm running. where is it?. I keep running. there it is, I see it. I'm getting closer. it is Sophia's car. can't see clearly. that's Sophia burning inside the car. there is a light, there at the end of the street, it's getting closer and closer. I hear breaks. It's James,"get in, let's go," he says. 

"what about Sophia?," I say.

 "don't worry, she gonna be fine, she's a woman, women are strong?" he says. 

"what?" I say.

 what is happening?. have I gone crazy?. is he serious?. I can't seem to think, "the police are coming and they are going to take you to jail," says James.

jail, no, not today, not now. I hear nasty things about jail, homosexual relationships between heterosexual big guys. plus I'm not a violent man, I can't defend myself.  I'm a decent one. I get in the car, he goes, far and further away, the light of dawn blinds my eyes, it grows and grows.everything went white.

here I'am, sitting here by myself, staring at the sea. I look around me, there is no one besides me. I love this place, it's quiet. I can hear the voices in my head again. but where is James? where is Sophia? where is the city?. I'm far, far away from them. I can sense the absence of other people. the air is clean. it is peaceful.

 "what are you doing here?" a soft voice said to me. I look behind me, Sophia, "are you OK?" I say. 

"YES," she answers, is she?. she is more beautiful than before, did she become an angel, because she looks like one, " do you know what is happening to you?" Sophia says. 

"not a clue,"I answer, what's going on ?, I don't know. is something happening to me, " you are not real" says Sophia, I'm not?, who I'm I?, or, what am I ? is this a dream, is it. "kind of" she answers, is this why she can hear my thoughts,"what do you mean?" I ask. 

"you are inside the subconscious of a dying man, but not a normal death, it's a suicide. he was in love with a beautiful girl, her name was Sophia. she didn't love him back, she was in love with his brother James, she died in a car accident. it is his fault. he cut the breaks out of her car. and now he is choking, hanged in a rope tied to the ceiling, and you are the last thoughts that remain in his head". that's sad, very sad. and why does this place keep showing up? this beach, "he has a Van Gogh painting hanging on the wall. he is looking at it right now, while he's dying. he likes this painting a lot, It's the Saint Marie beach" says Sophia.

I look around me, the beach is disappearing, the sky too. now the sand, everything. I'm in the void. Sophia is still here. I look at her. I smile, she smiles back. she disappears me too.