8 March. Maybe it was snowing outside, or possibly, my mind was lost. I was in my car returning home... After the last visit.
It was 10 p.m. The temperature was relatively cold, just like out first meeting... I was within my usual routine, checking the street to find her somewhere. The streets were empty... She was gone.
The roads were the same... it was the same address, the same buildings. Nothing had changed, 2 years, but still the same. Same... not same.
It was a Saturday morning of May... quite a heated day... And when it was the least expected, she entered. 2 years from now... I was with her, sitting next to her, looking, admiring and confused. "It that luck?". Maybe, but I never had been so lucky. It was a Mathematics tuition. A extra addition class for clearing my individual problems. And with this strange luck, I became her partner...
Yes I was happy, stared to find my God in mathematics, started to find her. We never used to talk, and our timings were odd too, when it was all a lonely place. We hardly used to look at each other. I don't know why it was so for her... but for me, I was scared. I didn't wanted her to see how desperately my mind used to run. We had our egos, we had our challenges, forcing each of us to perform better with time. She was my best competitor. Then still stuck in the competition we opened up, slowly. And that was all just because we found ourselves much alike. Then, days passed, we cheated together, laughed at our own mistakes, helped each other. I was happy with my life.
I had a lot to ask her. What was her date of birth? What she liked and her dislikes... My questions were never direct. Fear made me twist them a bit and ask to the teacher the same think from his life. All I wanted was to start a conversation... and then we were good on our go. Not too much but she used to reply with answers, "21st February"...
And remembering was important...
She never will know I guess... Her tuition had ended anyways. And look I still was searching for her.
I had went to the tuition afterwards, just to look at her seat, blindly staring at me. The place was still a lonely one, although my timings there had changed. There were many people then, they all studied together. All I did was still search for her... My mind was still stuck in that time... in that same chair, which was the only sign of her existence. I wanted her back. I wanted my competitor back.
In time mathematics turned to a mere subject again. Still I look for her finger's touches in that old mathematics book... somewhere they were alive. Her voices still around me, she was there in my soul.
Then time went on... 4 then 5 and 6 years passed. I was sitting still in my office quarters on my chair. I was much more aimless from the beginning... and even though she gave me certain aims, I went on missing them...
Under pressure the company had committed certain law violations. Everyone was busy discussing how the company will go bankrupt. It was then that I heard her name once more... she was the lawyer for the company... She had graduated from the law school and was doing quite well, better than me actually. It was then that I understood that she don't remember me at all... Not even a bit of my memories lie there inside her.
She made our company win... and then went away on another case.
And I... I resigned from my job.
I finally understood what I wanted to do... to stay with her... I wanted to be her competitor again, but this time, she needs to know my existence! Let love come on the way...