Seeking Love

The sparks people talk about when they come across someone who appeals to their heart and soul aren't imaginary. They're real. As real as the high from trying a new drug, as real as the intoxication from excessive alcohol, as real as the adrenaline rush from doing something adventurous.

But that reality, is the reality within. It's completely detached from the external environment.

The deepest emotions and the strongest feelings aren't measured, they're intangible.

It's funny how in this world inhabited by 7 billion humans, you rarely come across someone you feel this emotion for. You can't lead your whole life waiting, or can you?

You go for anyone that shows a slight inclination towards you in hopes of finding that connection later.

That later, never comes and it all ends pretty quickly.

You have people who talk to you, but you're looking for someone who you can talk to. It is hard to come by. The intimacy you seek, is not skin deep.

It's as surreal as being aligned with someone's soul.

In the theory about two magnetic poles on a magnet, both have the same chemical structure and the ability to attract metal. But the molecules align themselves in a different direction and only the direction is opposite. So the opposites aren't really opposites.

This theory applies to humans too, not extensively so. You're looking for someone who has the same core as you even though it moves differently.

You aren't looking for perfection, you're looking for companionship.

In your quest to look for someone, you attract people who're emotionally unavailable, commitment phobics or cheaters. You find humans who have their shattered pieces all over the place and you feel compelled to pick them up.

You never stop to question your motive because you've been taught putting someone else's worth first is a good thing. You rush because deep down you feel you can save them. You believe you can turn a cheater into a loyal person, or a drug addict into giving it up, or relieve someone of their emotional baggage.

You start to think that they need you and it would be ruthless and selfish to leave them.

But you fail every single time.

When you see, they won't change, you blame yourself. Everytime they fail you, you believe it was because you failed them.

It's like paddling a boat stuck in sand, all you become is tired.

Love is powerful, connections are therapeutic. Clicks work. But then why haven't you felt it when someone is talking to you?

Once you stop and think, you realise that a person who has the same core as you, wouldn't allow you to lean in to pick up the shattered pieces. That person knows you'd only get hurt if you do that. That's the kind of person you need in your life.

Once you see the work you need to do on yourself, you wouldn't rush to pick up the pieces yourself but instead help them navigate through their life and fix it. You have to stop being taken over by someone's misery. You can't fix what you didn't break in the first place.

That way, along with trying to save them, you'd be saving yourself.

Focus on yourself and you will attract the human you seek.

It could only be a reality if you envision it to be.

Breaking this pattern would lead you to people you didn't know existed.