Crippled in a cold corner of my room.... this was once a safe haven but now appears to be a hell. Nobody knows I am alone, crying and dying on my own. Tears has become my friend, whose presence is most welcome in me. How come that I enjoy the pain and confusions this one bring, this is more than a water that endlessly drips down my eyes and chills me to death. Each drop brings comfort and gives chance to steal a smile from the world that took the happiness in me. I wish they are all happy now, to see me on my demise and how I drown myself on the pit they made for themselves but chose to be a present for me. Unselfishness, that was my greatest mistake. I struggle to make them happy when I was already drowning dead on my own sadness. After all I've done, all I've shown, I am still nothing. No blame people. I chose this for my own, but to tell you this. I hope when you're falling again I am still there to catch, or mend your broken pieces.
This room........ this is more than a room. It is a wide four wall reflection of all I forgot for myself. No regrets, though lots of hang up. I should have known better.
I am hurting
so much...
Somehow this wounds in my wrists heals scars in my heart. They are related, though I have lose myself within me.
Just shut the door and turn the lights off, I don't need anybody no more. I get used to this, loving the sight of night, for which brings me peace and solemnity. At dark, I can get myself back once again even just for a moment or two, but losing myself partially is better than losing the whole me. Though I know no one would mind the disappearance of my existence, but I still do. Just give me sometime to grief over my own tombstone, for me to bury these burdens and to let myself start anew.