The first rays of morning light seemed eager to filter through Pia’s bedroom window that day, impatient to bathe her cool, sweaty skin in heavenly warmth it couldn’t escape. Her lips broke into an elaborate smile, painting her cheeks crimson red. Blissful memories of the previous night, of being tangled with her beloved, Rohit, flooded her inner core and her arms, wound tight around the already tussled, weary pillow, squeezed it closer to her chest. Her silken lashes refused to rise from their dreamy slumber lest the beautiful moment turn into a far flung memory. Her heart sunk low, knowing there was no way she could run away from the painful separation from the love of her life, this time for eternity.
His parting words rang in her ears like the most melodious music she had heard in a lifetime-
“Love knows no boundaries, my dear. We are meant to be together, even if, just in our hearts”, and he left, off to the United States of America, to work in a leading IT firm and settle there for the rest of his life, leaving her behind in her homeland, India.
She could have joined him, she mused. The little whiny corner of her mind was still unconvinced. Her slender legs jumped out of bed, hoping to push her laziness, and her hopeless desires out of the way.
I need to focus on getting ready
She sloshed her tired face with cool water and stared at the pained reflection in the mirror. Tears streamed down her face as she remembered her frail mother lying on the hospital bed, unmoving but with the kindest eyes, always smiling, wishing her luck in her endeavors, all the while knowing she could no longer participate in most of them. A gruesome motorcycle accident had left her paralyzed, face down and bed ridden for the last five years.
How could I leave her like this? How could I ever be happy knowing I couldn’t see her every day?
She broke down. Her father had painstakingly taken care of his wife, looking after her selflessly. He was getting old. The only child of her parents, she needed to be there for them, providing support, both emotionally and financially. Rivulets of utter despair soiled her angelic face as her heart swelled up. She let herself cry out the agony. She knew she had no other choice. She needed to be strong. The clock was ticking. She was getting late for work.
If only he had rejected the offer.
But she knew she was being irrational the minute the thought left her mind. The offer, for him was a dream come true. She would only have been a thorn in his way if she had suggested he drop it. But then, she was human too, and she couldn’t help but think ‘if only’.
The stubborn strands of her hair stuck on to the comb as she hurried to make herself look presentable. With a piece of apple bulging out of her mouth, her hands searched for the bag she desperately needed, she was almost ready to storm out of her apartment when the doorbell rang.
Who the hell could it be at this hour?
She opened the door absent-mindedly and froze. An extremely tired, tear laden, ill shaved, worn out face stared back at her. The minute the pair of eyes bore into her, she cried out, “Rohit? Is it really you?” He collapsed in her arms, his familiar warmth radiating all over her, soothing her frayed nerves. She felt alive again.
“Yes, it’s me, Pia”, he whispered still hugging her like a little child, nuzzling her neck, “I came back, I can’t bear to stay a minute away from you”.
“Why did you have to leave then?” She couldn’t hold back now. The torrent of emotions swirling inside her pounded his heart the way they had done hers. Her palms tapped his shoulder, as she stepped away to look into his eyes. His face looked like it had been wrecked in a storm. He could barely breathe.
“I couldn’t bear to tell you the truth Pia. I couldn’t bear you hating me”, he stuttered.
“What are you talking about? Didn’t you go to the U.S. for the job? Did you reject the offer?” She asked, happy to see him back but puzzled at the turn of events.
He stepped back, far away from her, wiping away his tears, shaking his head as he went.
“I am sorry Pia. I am truly sorry. I never knew before. The minute I knew, I realized things will never be the same and so I left. But I forgot I was already in love with you too much”.
“Rohit, please explain, I really need to understand what you are talking about” she cried, exasperated.
“How could I live with you Pia, knowing that I am the reason you cannot leave this country? How could I live with you, knowing I am the reason for your dad’s early retirement? How could I live with you, knowing I am the reason for your mom’s condition?” he shivered as he spoke.
“What? But that was a motorcycle accident……no…” She suddenly understood; the horror of the night writ large on her face.
“Yes, Pia. It was a mistake…I was scared. But that was me.