I hate this place; it smells like something died in here, and it does not hurt them to try to choose a different paint next time. I mean who paints an infirmary grey and black? They might as well put a sign that says “Welcome to the infirmary, if you do not suffer from depression, we will make sure that you will after you leave” Oh wow I still have sense of humor, I think this is the funniest thing I came up with ever since I broke my leg and became depressed. It’s funny when you try to keep denying something and then suddenly realize it. Everyone at school knows that I’m depressed but I can’t tell them it’s true. At least I’m not denying it anymore. I know Gene never meant to hurt me, who hurts his best friend on purpose anyway?
Dr. Stanpole and Gene are talking; I think I need to let them finish their discussion first. I’ll wander around the place for few minutes and if they do not finish by that time, I’ll go and listen to what they’re discussing. Wander! With that shattered leg I have? I keep forgetting that I can no longer do normal activities like everyone else in my age. This place brings back too many bad memories for me, I even hate passing near it. Every time I do, I get chills. There is nothing interesting to see so I think I’ll sit and wait for Gene and Dr. Stanpole to finish talking. At the end of the hallway I saw a man staring at me, a young man with a weird look on his face. I will ignore him maybe he thinks I am someone he knows. Or maybe he is just a creep that likes to stare at strangers. I will count to ten and then I will go and talk to him. One, two, three, ten that’s it I am going to ask him to stop staring or else I will do nothing. Who am I kidding? I can’t do anything; I can barely go to the bathroom by my own. I will ignore him.
I stood up and walked toward Gene, he looks pale, extremely pale. I hope he’s not mad at me for yelling at him the other day. But why does Dr. Stanpole look disappointed? Something wrong is happening. I will ask Gene after we go back to our dormitory. “Gene, Gene” I called him but he ignored me. How rude! “What’s with the rotten attitude?” I yelled but he kept walking. Maybe he is still mad and the best way to deal with this situation is to leave it for the next day. I turned around to find that man sitting on the same chair I was sitting on and still looking at me, maybe he wants to tell me something but is afraid to approach me or don’t know how to tell me.
I went and sat next to him, I did not look him in the eye. “Hello” he did not reply. “I noticed you kept staring at me so is there something I can help you with?” again, he did not reply. “You know first impressions matter right? And you are giving a wonderful one!” “Sarcasm?” he finally replied. “Oh so you can talk? I thought I was going mad or imagining things” I kept looking at the wall, trying to avoid looking at him. For an odd reason, I felt close and afraid of him at the same time. Maybe because he reminds me of whom I am now. Silent all the time and when I speak I only mumble few words. “Maybe I am imaging things and you do not actually exist” He said that and pushed me. I looked at him and my jaw dropped. “Charlie! Charlie what are you doing here? You freaked me out; I thought someone was stalking me. But you’re…” “Dead?” he interrupted me. “I went missing for few months” “But why are you here, in this particular infirmary? Shouldn’t your parents be the first ones you visit, not me? Young, stupid, naive, reckless Finny.” “You’re not stupid Finny, you are the smartest cousin I have, maybe you are reckless but that doesn’t mean you are stupid. Young people do immature things all the time but once you grow up you will change and none of this will ever matter to you because you will realize that life isn’t worth it and none of this will matter once you die” “Wow! Did they teach you all this jibber jabber in military?” “No Finny, no one teaches you anything there except how to hold a weapon and kill a stranger” “War has changed you Charlie, I don’t know how to reply to this to be honest” “When you see your friends dying in front of you and there is nothing you can do, of course you will say that life is a joke and think exactly the way I do now” I couldn’t say a word because I knew that everything he was saying was true. “Forget the army Finny, do something else, your mother needs you” “I wasn’t going to enlist anyway and even if I wanted, I can’t” I said in a low voice. “Weren’t you obsessed with sports and the Olympics or something?” “Yes” “So pursue your dream and become a champion” “I can’t” “Stop saying you can’t for God’s sake! Only quitters say these things and you are not a quitter” “I can’t Charlie because I broke my leg twice and I can barely move by myself, the doctors told me to do something else with my life and take that Olympics dream out of my head” “I’m sorry Finny I had no idea that your injury is severe”.
I looked at him and smiled, he smiled back. “Thank you Charlie, I need to go back to the dormitory now” I stood up and walked away. “Wait, how did you get in here? I thought this infirmary was for students only” I turned around and he was already gone. I went back to my room and found Gene lying on my bed, I smiled at him and sat on his bed. Maybe he’s trying to tell me that he forgave me but can’t find the right words to say. Wait a minute, why should he forgive me? He is the one who broke my leg and the reason behind my misery. But as Charlie said, nothing will matter after I die. I can’t wait for this day.
“Good night Gene” He turned to the other side and sighed. It was a long night and I couldn’t fall asleep. The next morning I saw Gene getting up really fast and looking outside the window. He had a strange look on his face, the same one he had when he was talking to Dr. Stanpole. “Finny” he said in a low voice. “Yes Gene” I replied without getting up. He ignored me, again, and opened the closet, took a dark shirt and wore it. I got up and followed him to see that he wasn’t the only one who wore a dark shirt and had a strange look on his face. Everyone else was whispering and looking at Gene. I kept walking with him till we reached the destination. But suddenly everyone else stood in front of me and blocked the view. I heard a man saying “We are gathered here today to…” and then the footsteps of all these students were very loud I couldn’t understand any of the words he was saying. I looked around me and saw a man standing behind a tree and staring at me. Maybe that’s Charlie and he wants to tell me something. I went there and saw Charlie. But this isn’t the Charlie that visited me yesterday. “Charlie! Are you okay? You’re bleeding!” I yelled in a terrified voice. He did not reply. The sky became cloudy and I felt cold. Once everyone left the place, he walked away and I followed him. When he stopped he looked at the ground and said: “Do you think people will remember us?” I looked at the ground and there I saw something I never thought I would see, my grave.