The sky just so happened to be a dreary grey, matching the way her spirit felt perfectly. She hadn't been able to stop crying ever since the accident had happened and she got the call from from Terrence's parents. She couldn't believe that he was actually gone.
She opened the door to her car slowly contemplating whether or not she really wanted to be there, whether or not she was really ready to let go. She was amazed that she hadn't shed a tear yet today, and that thought was what gave he enough confidence to step out of the car. She had in hand a picture frame, and one single rose. The air was humid, but the leaves on most of the trees had finally started there long and slow journey to dying. The first few steps she took were easy, up until she got to the open gate. Then, is when she felt a lump grow in her throat. She swallowed it back and took a painful step through the gates.
It was hard not to look at all the grave stones along the paths. There was dirty American flags as well as ones that looked brand new. Little emblems of families who were mourning losses. There was beautiful flowers that looked new and then there was those sad little graves that looked awfully neglected. That is what made her most sad, that eventually the dead are forgotten and then no one cares about them anymore. People move on, they grieve only for a little before they learn to cope with the loss of a loved one. Eventually they smile again, they laugh again. She wasn't sure that she would ever be able to smile again though, how could you be happy when the last memory you had of your lost loved one was painful.
She looked at how there were so many graves that had two names on one stone. They were married. They lived there lives as married couples and then eventually, one day they were both buried next to one another. Terrence would never have that experience. A single tear fell from her cheek.
It felt like it took forever but eventually she made it to the top of the first hill in the cemetery. She turned down the row of graves where Terrence was buried and she slowly made her way to the end grave, that was where his body lay to rest for the very last time. She stopped in her tracks not sure if she was ready to see it, his name engraved in a slab of marble. While she was standing there she heard an out of place noise. A laugh. She looked a few rows ahead of her and saw that there was a women with two little girls.
They had a blanket spread out on the ground and they had a picnic basket in the middle of them all. The women looked like she was in her late thirties and one of the little girls, the one she was sure she heard laugh, looked to be about five or maybe six. The second little girl look quite a bit more mature like she had to have been eleven, maybe twelve years old. They were sitting around the grave eating and laughing, content smile's on each of there faces. She tried to listen to what they were saying.
"Mommy, i think that Daddy would like some more tea", the littlest girl said with a giggle.
"Oh you think so?" the mom responded with a smile.
"Well, we all know that Dad had two cups of tea during our tea party picnic's", the older girl said grabbing a cup off the fathers tomb stone and a small tea pot that was on the blanket.
"Alright girls pour him a second cup." The mother said with a soft smile.
Then, the older daughter filled the fragile looking tea cup and handed it to the younger daughter. The younger daughter got up and poured the cup into the grass at the very top of the grave, almost as if there father were going to be able to drink the tea straight from his coffin. The though was almost settling to her, who knows, perhaps the father could. She watched the sweet family for a few moments more and it gave her the courage to make her way to the final grave in the row she had been walking down.
Once she got there she knelt down on her knees. There was fresh flowers all around his grave and a few little candles and other little things to memorialize him. She looked at the way the marble looked so fresh, and new and the ground was still soft. Everything about his grave looked new and kept nice but how long would it be until his grave to was just another forgotten disaster. She made a promise to her self at that moment that she would never let Terri's grave become un-kept, he didn't deserve that.
She began to read the grave stone aloud quietly to herself, "Terrence Newin, An angel taken back to Heaven, 1994-2014". She wiped away a single tear.
"Hi", she said into the air, her voice was shaking as she wiped away another tear, "I never pictured the day when I would say hi to you and not get a response back.", she said with a small, sad laugh letting a tear fall down her cheek. "And... I never pictured not getting a response back... would hurt so much. I just wanted to come here and say I'm sorry." By this point she had began to lose control of the tears falling down here cheeks. "There isn't a thing in the world I wouldn't give to take back those last words I said."
She was sobbing with out caring who was around or if anyone was starring. She was just hoping that Terrence was looking down from Heaven, seeing how truly sorry she was. She never expected him to be gone by the time she was ready to fix things between them. What do you do when the last words spoken are nothing more than a sure regret? And to think she had all that time before he was gone to turn her words around. She was still deeply in love with him, she still wanted more than anything to be able to hold his hand. She desperately wanted to walk down the isle to meet him in spring when all life was new, when everything was pure again. How could she ever let go? In her heart she knew she never could but today had to be the first day of healing.
She stifled the tears and wiped away the ones that were still in her eyes. She looked down at his grave that was full of keepsakes, but she began to clear them away and moved them all around the sides. Once the center was cleared, she placed down the single rose in the front of his grave. She looked at it for a moment more.
Her thoughts were interrupted by the sound of a little girl, "Hi, my mom would like to know if your friend would like a cup of tea."
A simple smile came across her face, she knew that Terrence didn't like tea but she nodded her head and took the cup anyway. She peered over at the mother and the older daughter, who were looking back over at her with an understanding smile.
"You need to pour it were you think his mouth would be" the little girl said, then she guided her hand to about right in front of his grave. She poured a little of it out and then she said, "Here you can pour the rest now."
She poured it out over his grave and thought, maybe he likes tea in Heaven.
"So", she said as she finished pouring out the tea, "what is your name?"
"I'm Lilly!", she said putting out her hand, "What is yours?"
She shook her hand, "My name is Maddilynn".
"My mommy also wants to know if you would want to join us on our tea party picnic? We have a lot of left over cookies." She said with a sweet laugh.
"Sure, I would love to" She said with a smile.
"Alright, come on let's go" the little girl said back to her.
"Okay, just hold on a second." she said to Lily.
She looked at Terrence's grave and she grinned. She looked at the single rose and she knew that something was missing. She looked down at the ring on her hand, the diamond looked dull and out of place there on her ring finger. She slowly took it of her ring finger and then she picked up the rose. She slide the ring over the rose stem and the she carefully placed it back down. She knew it was a single, but painful step in the right direction. She looked at his stone once again and then she slowly stood up. She walked over to the little girl, who grabbed her hand and then they walked to enjoy a simple tea party picnic among friends.