The Social barrier

Before you start making any assumptions, let me be clear and state that this post has absolutely nothing to do with religious barriers. With that being out of the way, let me get straight to the point.

Let's admit it - we all wear masks. We all want to be part of social groups. We do stuff we wouldn't normally do, just to be a part of 'them'. We want to feel liked, appreciated, and even admired by our fellow 'social creatures'. We post selfies and photos of us in groups on Instagram, to show how perfect our life is, when, in reality, you're hurting inside. Who can you talk to? No one. Why? Because your mask may come off, and scare them.

I, for one, have always been (and will always be, probably) an introvert. Before I hit the switch, I'd like to tell you a simple fact that a lot of 'social' people tend to think - Introverts and loners are the same kind of people. No, Introverts and loners are NOT the same kind of people. Loners are those kinds of people who have been ostracized, shunned, or alienated from the other 'normal' people. Introverts, on the other hand, can socialize very easily, but they don't wear masks. If people like them for who they are, fine; if they (the 'normal' people) don't, they (the introverts) wouldn't care less.

I'd like to tell you all a tragic (and sadly, pretty common) story that occurred with one of my close friends recently. This friend of mine (let's call him 'X') really liked a girl (let's call her 'Y'), and well, she liked him equally as much. They were the best of friends for the better half of three years - literally inseparable. Now, I don't normally say this, but my friend was, well, okay-looking, and a big time introvert; and the girl was an absolute knockout (obviously, extroversion came with that package). Every time they used to sit together, or even talk, her friends would tease her; even mock her. Why? Because, as I later learned from him, it was 'socially unacceptable' for a girl of her social stature to hang out with a guy like him. For the initial period, she ignored them.

Their persistence, however, didn't fade. They started teasing her to an extent of predicting how their baby might look like (I know, you all might be shocked, but this does happen). Other guys of 'higher social order', who also liked her, didn't want to waste the opportunity - "Seriously? THAT'S the best you can do? Why are you hanging out with a loser like him?"

All this took a serious toll on her. Finally, her frustration got out of hand. One day, when X saw her, he put his hand on her shoulders to get her attention, but she shrugged it off, turned around, and shouted at him, saying, "You can't talk to me anymore, okay? You're not worth me. I can't be seen talking to you; not here, not at home. All those Instagram pictures we have together? Delete them! All those Facebook posts in which you've tagged me? Delete them! My friends make fun of me because I'm with you! You're starting to embarrass me. I can't lose my social status because of you. So go away!"

That one encounter with Y completely changed X. He cut himself off from her completely - unfollowed her on Instagram, unfollowed her on Facebook, deleted her contact from his phone, etc. etc. He delved deeper into depression, even refusing to talk to me. He started skipping college. His parents called me, and said that they were getting really worried, for he was barely eating, and he started lashing out profanities at them on small issues. Life didn't seem to be working out for him.

Then, about two weeks later, I got a WhatsApp message from him, asking me to meet him at a certain pub. I didn't drink, but I just wanted to meet him, and so I accepted without second thoughts. After downing his third beer, he poured out every pent up emotion he had stored in since that encounter - he cried openly, he banged his fist on the table angrily - his misery was shockingly apparent, and transparent. He kept on saying, "It's all his (pointing up to the sky) fault! Why did he make me so ugly? Why did he make me such a loser? I didn't ask for being born like this! He took away the only thing I loved more than myself."

While this was unfolding, all I could do was restrain myself from crying. He had been through a truckload of pain, and the scars hadn't healed one bit. All his self-consciousness, self-confidence, happiness - completely vaporized. However, I did manage to notice ONE thing that had shot up - his ego. "Who the hell does she think she is? How the hell can she say something like that to me? Who gave her that right? What the heck do her filthy friends know?" I decided to leverage that ego. I told him to use that same pent up anger, and channel it to change himself.

And change, he did. He started hitting the gym aggressively. He got chemical/laser (I don't know) peels done for his face. He joined a debate club to master his shyness.

Not surprisingly, his transformation didn't go unnoticed. The same girls who ran away from him (because, apparently, he stank) shamelessly flirted with him. The same guys who looked at him in contempt invited him for drinks. The very same people who shunned him, now suddenly sought interest in him. Friend requests, Instagram follow requests, Tinder matches, unceasing WhatsApp messages - you name it. His Instagram page blew up, and girls openly stalked him.

I know, I know; what about Y? Well, Y also suddenly realized that X had changed. She started opening up to him again - a little too much. Her friends now hooted and cheered her when she approached him. They all giggled nervously when he walked by. Y now even openly admitted that she liked him as well - all because he was now on the 'same social level'.

But well, X had other things in mind. I witnessed the following event with my own eyes, okay? One day, when X was checking his attendance on the board, Y came up to him, and put her hand on his shoulders to get his attention. Like a classic Bollywood movie, X shrugged off her hand, turned back, looked her in the eyes, and shouted at her, "So NOW I'm finally worth your time, huh? When your friends teased you before, you were ashamed of me. What happened? You SUDDENLY started liking me now? Back then, you even admitted to me that you liked me when we were alone; but you took that statement back when you realized that your friends didn't approve of you being with me. Why? Because I was not as good looking as you are? Because I didn't have enough Instagram followers? Because I didn't get as many likes as you did on Facebook or Instagram photos? Because I wasn't pursued by other girls? But now I have all of that, and NOW you think I'm worth something to you. Here's what I want you to know : You're a sham. Your friends (pointing to all of them) are shams. This whole goddamn society is a sham. This is not X, this is 'Z'. You killed X that day. So you and your friends don't like X, they like 'Z'. You should be ashamed of yourself; you couldn't even stand up to your own friends and say, 'I like him; it's none of your business.' So yes, the X you want? He's gone. And you know what? While he passed away, he told me to stay away from you - the only girl he liked; because you're the biggest sham of them all."

Regardless to say, he left the whole corridor in utter silence. She literally fought back her tears; her ego trying to urge her for a comeback, but sadly, there was none. It was pretty ironic, if you think about it - Y lowered X's status when she yelled at him, but it didn't matter - because X's status was already dipping the normal threshold. However, when X lowered Y's status, her ego, self-esteem, and even her humanity came right to square one. This isn't a Bollywood movie, though; so no, he didn't accept her apology.

Revenge never felt so sweet.

Humans are weird creatures. We are easily influenced by people. We have a brain, and somehow, the first thing that comes to mind when we want to do something is - "What will my friends think?"

Here's my two cents - If you want something, get it. The friends who stop you from reaching your destination aren't friends, they're merely entities who wanted to seem sociable, and they WILL pull you down.

Social barriers are just illusions that you create for yourself. So what if you like that girl/boy who has a higher/lower social standing than that of yours? Why does it matter, anyways? Your friends will talk - that's their job. To quote an old Hindi song whose name I can't remember - "Kuch to log kahenge; logo ka kaam hai kehna."

Cheers!