I’ve been thinking a lot lately... Thinking of all what happened and how life can turn upside down in within seconds! I learned that all what we live can arrive to an end quickly but I mostly learned that every lie brings a relationship closer to goodbye! I myself don’t believe how I accepted to continue living this lie when I should’ve put an end to everything right away! I gave up my dignity my ego my self-respect for what’s so called LOVE! Well screw love and screw the person who made me hate it! I was ready to give up everything, willing to do anything but it never was enough nor would it ever be! Cause sometimes love is just not enough; there are things way more important such as loyalty and honesty! These two can never be replaced or denied! I thought that I can hold on everything handle anything alone with no help! I wanted to believe that everything could be fine but that was just another lie I was ready to live to stop the pain! I read once that a lie can take care of the present but it has no future and that’s definitely true cause no matter how hard we try to pretend, it all vanishes in the end and we are left to face the ugly truth alone! Perhaps this would be called giving up, not keeping my promises; well I’m done trying so hard! One thing you should learn is to never push a loyal person to the point where they no longer care! Ladies and gentlemen I’m ready to confess that I don’t care anymore about that one single person that meant the world to me! That’s what happens when you hurt people they begin to love you less and even forget that they have ever loved you! I’m becoming cold in our conversations, my emotions are getting empty; I don’t miss him I’m starting to forget his smile the way he looks at me, I want to hate him but I can’t I want to continue loving him but it’s impossible and it’s scaring me a lot! I really want to put my stupid mode on and convince myself that he won’t hurt me again but my consciousness is screaming “don’t”! So the conclusion of all I’ve been saying is that I decided to move on and stop living for anyone else and just live for me cause I believe that I can be happy without all what I think I need the most! I want the sun to shine in my soul cause only then the rain outside wouldn’t matter…
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