Ever believed in 'LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT?'......not may of us believe in the same nor did I. But that day,when it rained heavily,I was running my way to high school getting wet all the way, I reached the hallway really frustrated and looked for my friend who was to meet me. I somehow managed to find the classroom where i was supposed to be and found my friend and got seated. Being passed out from a girls' convent school, I barely was familiar to how it was to share the same space with boys. I was looking around , seeing all the new faces who were chattering and introducing themselves to each other! Then my eyes slowly rolled towards the two rows in which the boys were seated , when suddenly a very frustrated face caught my eyes and that one look towards HIM and my heart was like (blushingly though) "Is He The One?"
As The Days Passed
As the days passed, I became more inquisitive of him , wondering who he was, from where he belonged and what kind was he. Weeks passed and all I tried was to get the attention of his eyes. My only aim to attend junior college was to see his pretty face and nothing really seemed to matter to me. Then came this day when he first spoke to me (trust me not the way i really imagined). We were asked to sign a sheet of paper and that paper was with the boys who dim't seem interested to hand it over to us. Angrily the girls asked me to requested me to ask them to hand over the paper to us girls. I felt like a helpless girl who has fallen for someone and has the best opportunity to strike a conversation. I, did the same. With that conversation,things between us began. Conversations , laughter , teasing and everything.Even these small things gave me hope and life seemed to a new beginning chapter.
But....
Then it was friendships day and a group of us 11 people was formed and we greeted each other.I had already confessed to Gia(my dearest friend) that I had a crush on him . But...that day instead of smiling i returned home in tears! A very pretty fella entered the class and this guy was flattered. Showing tremendous interest in her he broke that place i had created for him in my heart. Days went by the same way and people who clearly knew i liked him , asked me to move on. This went on and for a few days i din't speak to him.This was not all. Heart-breaking surprises were yet to come. He was committed! The only thing that i was scared of and after that I knew the best choice I had was to distance myself and did the same. Things between him and me worsened. We fought like a pair of cat and dog who couldn't stand each other and the winter break began and all i did was hid that fond i had for him and got caught up in my own world.
Un-Expectations
Winter break was finally over and pleasant weather and new friendships were all around and life to me seemed amazing. Yes undoubtedly I still liked him probably wished he was mine , but knew that it was and would remain just a wish. Everything went around normally. Things began on a fresh note and when the final month before our college fest began , unexpected things happened.One day,clearly remembering that it was mom-dad's anniversary, it was the day when conversation between him and me actually began. We spoke non-stop , probably I showed how I actually was around the people I care and fell that he too began liking me probably loving me as a person ( he had a girl friend, remember? ) I had myself into this feeling that he and I were actually having a thing when again a tragedy struck when he spoke of his girl and told he loved me "AS A PERSON,ONLY". Maybe it affected a bit and maybe it didn't after my brother's unexpected death which nearly broke me.
Now It Actually Begins...
It's rightly said that when we are at our worst we need people who help us and put us back on our feet and he did exactly the same.His support at that point of time meant the world to me. Given the person I was, I never shared things that broke me and that was something that actually made me strong. But circumstances were such that a backbone, a support was much needed. He made me believe that life goes on and staying strong was the best choice I had. Days went by and he stood stronger and I always found him by my side.Life seemed to be unpredictable, sweet and bitter all at once.People though became quite inquisitive that what exactly was going on between us where we ignored.There came a day where this inquisitiveness began a new relation and ended an old, dearer one.
I Will, I Will, Forever I Will...
January month was nearing an end and all in between these shocks and surprises this was one thing unexpected.He came to me one night and said ,"I feel alone these days,there is a person who had promised me to stay forever and failed in every way, would you promise me to be there forever?" Unsure of what to do or say next , i thought for a while and wondered " a yes , a no?" That was tougher than any exam for sure . A lifelong commitment was never the issue but was the person worthy of it surely bothered me. Thousands of thoughts rushed through my mind and the very beginning of how i wished and wanted him came to my mind . Without giving it any further thoughts, all I said was "Yes I Will."
But Then What Happened To You?
February it was. Surely the month of valentines and love.It was going to be my first valentines that year and I was nothing less than excited. Though he had a short family trip and I was sad for a week as I missed him very badly, he returned soon and probably it wasn't pleasant at all. His behavior seemed strange and it affected me very badly. I felt that maybe asking for promises and all was something he never really wanted and all this was just a big joke. The day before valentines day he said "Love in this age doesn't exist and all this is a waste of time." My heart was broke into a million pieces that night.
Maybe That IS the Way He IS
All I wanted to do was approach him and ask why would he ever tell me anything like that.The day that followed, the Valentines Day , I did the same and he never allowed me to come near him. All I did was ignore him and be on my own. He couldn't take it.He came and sat next to me and said "See no matter how far away I go, I always end up next to you!" Then all I wondered was maybe he is upset about something that I did for sure. The previous day I gave away something that he did for me to someone who never really deserve it.Who wouldn't feel bad when someone whom you love does that? All I thought of doing was, giving him his space and the time he needed.That for sure , I did with a heavy heart because a day without him was like being a moon which lacked it's sunlight to shine.
Happy Together Again!
There was nothing I could do but wait and as the days passed by my hopes were bursting like a soap bubble.But surprisingly there was this day when suddenly he came,came back instead and was just the way he was, the same loving guy with the same charm and I could see my world coming together again. All that happened thereafter was only Love.There were words and speeches and promises of staying together forever and those mid-night talks and those days of being together came along with our loving entering new dimensions. Days went by and all I did was wait for him and he came and he did.I never made any efforts and eventually ended up paying for it.
Late Is Better Than Never Or Maybe Not....
All we ever do in our lives, most of us, is that we take others for granted and we never appreciate their efforts and end up regretting it. Yes , I did too. And ever since have learnt to value people more than ever. The same happened in the days that followed. He waited for me and me like a fool never made an effort.This brought along it those worst three months were he even refused to speak to me. This taught me a lesson which I was sure to carry for the rest of my life.This time my hopes were all dead and I felt that we too would end up being a stranger to each other and I was thinking how in his presence would I ever survive alone.
Time Has Its Own Ways
All this took place in the worst summer of my life post which my health took a turn for the worst.The college was about to re-open and I was worried with the thought that how would I ever confront him the same way.But time healed everything. The spaces between us began to fill with many sacrifices being made and we were back together to being us again. This really made me believe in miracles.....Magic seemed to exist but something's missing , eh? The villain of our story maybe?
She's Back, Or Maybe She Was Always There...
Every love story has a villain. Some people don't intend to do bad but yeah their actions surely brings storms in other people's lives. So this villain of our's was his dear ex (I swear if you're some one's ex and somehow it din't work between you both, just get as far as possible from their lives) . So yeah , i thought it ended between them and yeah probably it did but the bond that they still had was something that never let me go nearer to him. His priority was her and that was something like a stumbling block which made us drift apart, sadly. She was maybe not what I am to him today but she surely commanded all the attention she never deserved.
to be continued.....