THE EMOTIVE PHYSICALITY
Of late, Rysa had been noticing a change in her. Sleeplessness, hyper tension, mild headache became a routine for her. The symptoms were of a clinical disease, but she needed psychotherapy. And Ryan came for exactly these very reasons in her life. He had known her for over a year, exactly the time she had broken up with her boyfriend, Neil. He was not just her boyfriend, he was her soul. And to drift apart from your soul while still having the only option to live without it results in a body that only breathes for survival. And this was exactly what Rysa had been doing since a year. Neil and she were still not separated; they did talk for good reasons. But was it enough?
She missed his touch. She missed his kisses. She missed being with him, holding his hand and walking out miles, blabbering her heart out in the middle of the night, sleeping on his shoulders with no reasons to wake up again, cuddling up in his arms while in theatre, sneaking into his jacket while feeling cold and crying in front of him to be only consoled, pampered and loved again.
And now, Ryan did exactly all this for her. And something more – he loved her. He neither knew much about her relationships with Neil not ever met him, but only knew that she had broken up with him and was now in need of care. These were reasons enough for him to love her back.
But she wanted Neil. Every time Ryan touched her, she felt the grip of Neil, every time Ryan kissed her, she wanted the feeling of Neil, and every time she moved close to Ryan, she felt the fragrance of Neil. She had been falling asleep with Ryan’s jokes and waking up with his love, but she dreamt only of Neil. She had been hanging up with Ryan in every leisure time, but heard only Neil’s footsteps around.
Tired of fighting with her own soul and in desperation to get out of it, Rysa finally submitted herself to Ryan. Things worked out and in an attempt to get his best friend back to normal life, Ryan did what she demanded. After intensely making love to her, he promised to be with her all for his life and care for her. She too hoped things would work out now and she would be able to get over Neil.
And after that emotive night, the morning dawned in a few hours. Ryan woke up beside Rysa only to find her still sleeping. As he kept staring at her love, she woke up slowly. She saw him sitting beside her, smiling. She smiled back, and said “We finally are together, Neil.”
“I am Ryan, Rysa. Are you still in sleep?”
“Who Ryan, Neil?” she asked casually as she hopped out of the bed to change.
Puzzled, when Ryan looked around, he was shocked to find himself in Neil’s room. And across the bed, on the opposite wall, hung a poster. Neil was right there, smiling at him and beneath the photo was printed in italics – ‘Neil (1988 – 2014)’. Horror struck him. Neil was dead a year ago.
He now realized what he had done. Rysa had always been Neil’s emotionally but failed to attach with him physically. She yearned for him, because when he died, he had taken her soul away from her. And Ryan only made her meet him physically.
She was now complete, and he had lost her forever.