In Spite of Appearance

IN SPITE OF APPEARANCE

I wonder why I exist, why am I here?

Is it to make just a living or to meet my hearts longing,

It has become the question of my belonging.

Am I here to make people happy,

Do I have within me the bliss, which is deep and thorough,

Or have I touched the center of my own sorrow.

Watching them in pain makes me feel miserable,

Can I sit with my own pain without trying to hide it or fix it and yet feel live able.

Can I disappoint another to be true to myself,

or am I just being a dual mind trying to search life in itself.

It often makes me restless,

whenever I look inside of me to know whether I’m trustworthy or faithless.

What makes the world so cruel or ugly,

despite the inhuman can I still stand at the edge of the lake and see the beauty?

Can I live with my failures or is it success that I seek,

or is it beyond everything which is magnificent and unique.

Do I accept life as it comes,

or I keep resisting the pain which makes me numb?

What bothers me more? is it my brain or my heart,

what sustains me from inside when everything falls apart.

Why my mind is always in search of something,

is it time, knowledge that I need to deal with myself or is it nothing.

Does it lie ahead of me or within,

I explore for myself everywhere, what’s the core of my being?

Am I a hollow body, a baseless mind I don't know what is what’s not,

When I look deep within I realize I’m just a myth here and the truth is I’m that.