I'm just a normal girl, living in this God forsaken world. Where life and death is everywhere. Death is a cruel thing. It haunts you every night, waiting for its time to attack. I'm just a girl, 17 years old. Waiting for him to strike. I think "why hasn't he done it yet, Why hasn't he come?" Is there a God? Is death real? Where will I go when he finally decides i'm ready. I question everything every single day i am on this planet.
Every passing day, is some what of a Hell. It feels like everything that I do won't make any difference, but yet, I still keep trying. I still keep trying in this life, because I'm scared of failure. Failure is my biggest fear. I actually have failed a lot in my life, school, keeping friends, you know usual ordinary stuff. But It gets to me more than you would think, I drive myself insane when I fail. It pains me deep down inside, and I just want to quit trying. I just want to kill myself, because I feel like a worthless piece of shit, that can't do a simple task with out failing. But a little voice speaks up in my head, telling me, "Don't look down on your past failures. Keep moving forward and try to make those past failures into successes."
I have friends, a wonderful boyfriend, and loving parents, but yet there's this one part of me that feels all empty and alone. I don't know why I get this feeling. I don't know how to fix it, and it pains me every day. I try everything to make it go away, I know im not the only one with this problem but it feels like i am.
This life that i have, it's surprisingly amazing, and I do love every moment of it. The things that hurt, will only make me stronger, and I have to thank everyone that has been there in my life, that has helped me through my tough times, they are the ones who have molded me into the person i am today.