I think I've never been this happy in my life, although I know I could be happier just as much as I know I won't ever be because I do believe, love is only for the lucky ones.
I mean really lucky ones. I get that luck can have very many versions but to be fair for me luck is to have a chance to talk to him, to look at him or to even hear his voice. That's what makes me happy. Everyday I wake up and the reason I get up is because I know I'll be happy. He will be there and I will be there too.
My mind has never been more interesting place. I love my mind. I can imagine so many things thanks to it. I can just close my eyes and be able to feel his presence. For example when I'm falling asleep, my imagination works so perfectly that only the thought of him holding me can make me calm down. I know I sound silly and in love but that's what I truly am these days. Silly and in love.
I won't tell you his name but I could talk hours about how adorable and hot he is at the same time but unfortunately I don't think you care about that.
I get to see him everyday in the school and everyday I daydream about kissing those lips so it's pretty frustrating when I'm not even close to doing so. First of all, like I said, love is only for the lucky and I am definitely not that lucky. I think it would tear me apart or something if I would be. He doesn't like me that way and I feel like friends is our finish line but sometimes, sometimes it makes me wonder whether maybe there might be a chance. He stares at me a lot, he stands little too close sometimes, he laughs at my jokes and I don't know if my feelings have got something to do with this but he pays attention to me like none.
Then there's the thing that he's a really nice guy whose style is being polite to everybody and it's also the truth that I know him four year and he has never made any direct move towards me whatsoever.
I don't think much of it but who am I to judge. So I decided that the great way of dealing with this questioning of his stupid intentions is to write it down. Everything he'll do from now on, I'll write to clear this for once. Honestly it drives me crazy, not knowing.