From the past few days, I had been increasingly realizing my sheer lack of presence in the places where I am physically present. My mind kept taking me to the places other than where I was in that moment - leaving me unaware of the movements happening around. While standing at the platform of a metro station amidst the bedlam of human voices and horns, I couldn't hear any. Whether I was traveling with 10 people or 100 people in the coach, I couldn't feel the difference. The amber color of the leaves, the subtle movement of the wind, the sinking of the sun and the gradual dawn of darkness, droplets of water coalescing into a fistful of water - I was missing it all.
In the past few days, I have truly felt myself as being the prisoner of my mind. I have been increasingly feeling this desire to be more wholeheartedly present and attentive to the present moment.
In order to increase my awareness and involvement in the present moment, a few days back I decided to pause amidst the busyness. And I did it again on another day. And yet again on another.
Whether I am frantically running ahead of myself or whether I am left staggering behind by my own self - in those moments of pause - I stop to meet myself again. My senses wake up from their slumber and I start feel them. It can happen sitting on a bench in a park with the trees or at a bus stop with people beside you waiting for the bus or in the corridors of the college or under the clear sky. Have you ever stood and looked at the infinite dark sky at night and felt all the trivialities of life fading away? I have. It's the simplest and a very effective way to slow down your breaths when they are rushing as fast as you do when about to miss a train or to bring peace to your mind which is, for most of the times, waging a war against uncontrollable elements.
In those moments of pause, I don't move towards any goal, I don't race against time, I don't visit places in my mind, and my body & my mind are not in unintended motion. I see, I hear, I feel - consciously. And to say the least, I acknowledge my existence in this universe.
And if you have reached till here, you might like to read this article on 'The Sacred Art of Pausing' by Tara Brach: http://www.awakin.org/read/view.php?tid=2231 :)