How will you know that you’re sad if you’ve never been happy?
How will you appreciate happiness if you’ve never been devastated?
Those were the questions I often hear from him. He was always curious about the true meaning of happiness. One time he asked me, how can we say that we are truly happy. It’s a question whose answer still evades me even now.
He was my best friend, together, we have shared a bond not even death can take away. We shared a lot of memories together, we were so close, and we were invincible, or so I thought.
It has been more than two years since he passed and I can still remember every inch and ounce of his persona, his laughter, his smile, his touch. He was my brother, my partner-in-crime, my best friend.
Someone trying to sympathize told me to move on with my life. Easy to say huh, especially if you’re not the one left with a void inside your heart. I told him, don’t judge me unless he’s looked through my eyes, experienced my pain, and cried my tears. Until then, back off. Let me be.
Even now, at every stroke of the keyboard, crimson tears still drift as my heart overflows with despair and misery. Memories of him still linger. Too bad I can only remember, never again will I relive it. Every sensation may be the same but the perception will always be different.
He once told me that one way to forget pain is to do something that’ll consume you completely. Like computer games where exhilaration makes us forget reality for a while.
Life was never fair, it will always pull you down, its challenges often not justifiable. But what’s important is your willingness to go further, not losing sight of your goal.
He was always there for me, he never abandoned me, and he was with me every step of the way. His memory will never die, his legacy will live, transcending the tide of time.
Even now that he’s not of this world anymore. I still spend a lot of time with him, taking a liking of going and talking to his grave, spending more time in the cemetery than mingle with the living. It seems that I have started to despise this accursed world and grow tired of its clockwork.
As I walk the path of solitude, I still seek for answers, the answer to real happiness. But I have to live in the present, appreciate what I have and impart myself to others. Yes, we won’t live forever but our deeds will. His memories will live in each person whose hearts he touched.
Goodbyes are not forever it’s never the end. It simply means that we’ll miss you, until that fateful day when our paths will cross once again. Until next time my best friend.