A year ago,
he said, "ttyl"
He told me
he had a lot of things
to accomplish that day.
I waited.
I cleaned my room,
washed all my clothes,
had my hair done,
cut my nails,
changed my pillowcases,
and my bedsheet,
and my blanket.
I looked at my phone,
"No message received."
I gave my dog a bath
---something I never did
because I knew he hated taking a bath.
I saw a tiny dirty spot in my bathroom,
I cleaned the entire bathroom.
I felt hungry.
I went to my kitchen,
and almost cooked
everything I found in my cabinet.
I checked my phone.
Still, no message received.
I went to my living room,
and tried to make myself busy
by watching TV.
Instead, I saw nothing but dust,
and empty chip packagings,
and messy picture frames.
"It's a nice way to keep me busy." I told to myself.
I did all the cleaning,
I almost cleaned the whole town.
Tired, I went back to my room,
staring at my phone,
watching it turn from 07:00 PM to 08:00 PM,
and from 08:00 PM to 09:00 PM, to 10:00.
I fell asleep.
At 03:00 AM, my phone finally rang.
Unluckily, it was my alarm clock
telling me I should prepare for work.
It was my alarm clock
trying to wake me up
from the fantasy that he would come back.
I still waited.
One year passed, and now,
he's not talking to me,
ever.
One year has passed,
and now,
my room has always been clean,
my pillowcases,
my bedsheet,
and my blanket have always been new.
I still look at my phone,
"No message received."
I feel fine,
I think I'm okay.
I give my dog a bath, regularly,
---something he somewhat learned to love.
There isn't any
tiny dirty spot
in my bathroom anymore.
I am also loving
how neat and properly arranged
the picture frames are in my living room
when I try to make myself busy by watching TV.
And after a long day,
I still look at my phone.
"No message received."
I feel fine.
I know I'm okay.
Sometimes, later could mean, never.
And in that duration of "later" they'd find someone better.
Someone who doesn't take much of their time
reassuring they'll be back
when they tell you they'll talk to you later.
Someone who doesn't ask them,
"Are you done yet?" every 30 seconds.
Someone who is willing to wait
for them to come back
when they tell you they'll talk to you later.
Maybe, I am not anymore
that person who is willing
to wait for later when later means never,
and later takes forever.
I am so tired of waiting for later.
And the next time someone says, "ttyl"
I'll say, "Talk to you never."
Story