You know the pain of losing someone, but do you know the feeling of having no one?
It was a cold Wednesday evening when I received a message from a friend. I asked him to read my blog and when he did, his words caught my attention. He quoted the line I used in my entry – Tales Told by Dead Friends and said something that struck my heart.
“When do we realize someone’s worth in our lives? Once they are gone, or once they don’t care about us anymore? Funny thing about us humans, we always take everything for granted and then realize what we lost when it is already too late. Losing something or someone is surely painful, but how can you lose someone who is not even yours to begin with. How can you be afraid of not having someone if you are always alone? What I’m saying is you need a little rain to enjoy the sunshine, emptiness to savor the happiness, and solitude to enjoy bonds. You need to feel something negative before you hold dear something that you experience, that’s basically human nature per se.”
He was one of the people who told me that my writings pierce through emotions and heart, that my writings penetrated his innermost feelings. That was a compliment for me at first but the more I thought about it, the more I felt sorry that my writings brought back a lot of memories, memories of pain and suffering to the people who read my works. Saying he felt my pain and my agony and that as he read my words, scenes of his past flashed back before his eyes refreshing every memory he had from his painful experiences, bringing him desolation and feelings of darkness.
“I have a lot of friends but a few acquaintances, you wrote that on your first blog entry, what do you mean by that?” he asked.
Not everyone you talk to is your friend, not everyone you hang around is your companion, and not everyone who listens to your stories is your ally. You cannot find a real and true friend in a normal scenario, a genuine friend is seen when all is devastated and in disarray.
I have been stabbed in the back by those I relied on the most and been lied to by those that I love, I felt alone when I couldn’t afford to be, but at the end of the day I had to learn to be my own best friend because there’s going to be days where no one is going to be there for myself but me.
This is the sad reality of life, everyone will hurt you, just have to find the ones worth sacrificing for. We all have something in common, we have all experienced pain and suffering, but what’s important is, giving the world another chance, a chance to love, a chance to take that leap of faith, a chance to gamble on the unknown, a chance to start all over again.
It’s never too late, nothing is impossible.