Aghast!!!!! That day, that dreadful day.....Oh how can I forget that day?
It still haunts me, brings back goosebumps in my body. I feel quite eerie on recalling that disastrous day.
As usual, early in the morning I was busy with my daily chores.You know that stereotype brushing, freshening up, getting ready for work, helping my daughter to get ready for school, preparing breakfast for my husband, two tiffins......and on and on.The most important job was to feed my ailing husband and to make him have his medicine and thus making him comfortable.
All was to be finished in two hours time. I know it sounds quite a long time but trust me, time flies especially when it comes to the morning hours.
Let me narrate you an excerpt from my 'जीवन रूपी experience'.
You see, life may be very harsh at times. It tests your patience till it reaches its climax. I never wanted to work as such till the time I found it necessary. My husband was drowned in the ocean of depression and job insecurity during those days. He was undergoing treatment for the same. He lost control of his own will power, created a wall of sadness and negativity around him.That moment brought the urge in ME to earn bread and butter for my family to meet the ends.
Thereby, I joined a school nearby, used to take tuitions in the evenings, teach my daughter too when back home. I tried to be the best Nurse to my better-half,a patient listener, an understanding friend and a doting wife to Him. But all my hard work did not pay off. Lord had something else stored for him.
That morning was different from everyday. I don't know why?. I wasn't at all in the mood of going to school but had to go. All my colleagues asked me whether everything was fine or not. I had no answer.I was much quieter that day. Not in my senses, I think. Just then the loudspeaker blared in the school campus, "Shomi Pandey, a call for you at the reception. " I rushed to take the call. It was my mother-in-law's call from home. Words were rolled. She was fumbling...asked me to come back home just then. Her urgency raised an alarm in my mind. Not knowing what to do and how to do. I took my bag and keys, told everything to my Principal and rushed back home.
Everything was cold. The gushing wind, the sun spelled a different language altogether. The houseflies,the thin white sheet covering his ice-cold body,the incense sticks waving off the germs broke the barrage of my emotions. I was dumbstruck, couldn't believe my eyes, had so many questions unanswered. Everything looked bleak. I was in such a juncture where I couldn't gather the strength to move on. I couldn't digest that he was no more with us. His body was blue. But a serenity was there in his face. The relief from pain could be seen in his calm face. I was down in tears, feeling helpless and so insecure that I went into depression myself. Noone to hold me tight and noone to make me feel protected too. What about my 10 year old little girl???? How will she take this in such a tender age? Moreover, how to explain the harsh realities of life.l had no answer. I was blank. Swarming people in the house paying condolence to my bereaved husband made me feel all the more lost.
Life is full of surprises and unanswered questions. Oh God! Give me the strength to ease all the pain gracefully so that I can sail through all the difficulties.
I think my prayer was heard by Him. Being a part of Sunbeam was a Magic and my dear mother was the Fairy God to cast a spell on me. Thank you MA for being there with me like a strong pillar throughout during the tides. You gave me the reason to live on and thus Look Beyond......I have no words to express my feelings at this point. Just wanna say.... You are an epitome of love and kindness and a true inspiration for Me your "foolish yet loving daughter ". Stay blessed forever MA.