The day that I let go of you, was a long time coming. I knew we were over when you started talking about when we would break up, without having the balls or respect for me to actually leave. I knew we were over the day I told your whore bag sister to speak to you again, the day I begged her to act as if you still existed, the day I spilled your soul out to make her feel important, to make you important to her again. I knew that we were over the day you insincerely asked me if I would move away with you, it wasn’t asked with me or us in mind, only you not knowing what to say anymore, you not knowing how to let go of the support that I gave you. I knew that we were over, but I wanted you to leave, I wanted you to own what you had done to us, but as usual, as always, I had to carry the burden of the cowardice that runs through your veins, that will forever curse your family’s name. I knew that we were over and yet I held onto you so tight, maybe thinking somehow you would rewrite the timeline you had already chiseled in stone, with shaky hands I never should have let hold me. And as I rode the bus home, after the coward in you once again shown brighter than any achievement you may ever have, and you backed out of driving me, I unadded every piece of you I could, I put everything you gave me in a box, besides the gifts, all of which were weapons, if only you had given me one to protect me from you, but I guess you sort of did that too. I find it funny that you didn’t want me to feel alone back home when you gave me months of feeling alone while being in the same room with you. The day that I let you go, you said you didn’t want me to think of us as a mistake, as wasted time, but really you didn’t want the reality of my feelings that you let me have to make you feel bad for things you pretended to feel. I knew we were over when you stopped saying I love you unprompted, I knew we were over for a very long time, and that has made you so easy to let go of, why hold onto someone I never really had. Someone who never wanted held onto in the first place, who took my feelings as flattery and then threw them in my face. I let go of you now, ready to never hold or hear of you again, as you go on to your trail of failure, false reality, and complete inability or understanding of being an adult, and I laugh because there were a few things you said that I always denied, that I now know is completely true, there are hundreds of people in this world exactly like you, you’re nothing special and that I deserve and can have so much better without even trying. The day that I let go of you, I shed more dead weight than you will ever manage to lose, no matter how far you run from yourself. But most importantly, the day that I let you go, I held myself again for the first time in years, and all the pieces fit easily, stripped of your uncertain edges and tears, and I realized that what I once thought was my Sun, was really just a flaming ball I needed to stay 94.078 million miles away from, but I guess 1610.7 miles will have to do for now, until you fail and return, and I will be lightyears away from where we left each other.
Story